Can it Get Any Worse?
by darkphoneix
Summary: Ranma is just a bit sociopathic and now he's stuck with the unenviablejob of teaching the Sailor Senshi magic.
1. Prologue

  
  
Can It Get Any Worse?: Prologue  
  
  
"Hey, watch it!" I screamed as I narrowly avoided a bolt of lightning.  
Why won't the damned devil hunters ever leave me alone? I'm not even  
a demon. There isn't a trace of demonic energy or blood within my  
body or soul, so why do all the nutjobs with a little magic come after  
me? Turning to face my attackers, I came face to face with the bane  
of demons the world over. The Sailor Senshi. It's funny. I've  
always been repulsive to the 'good' guys and all the really 'evil'  
horible creatures from the various levels of hell have treated me like  
their little brother. You tend to pick up all kinds of useful  
information from demons who have just gotten their asses kicked and  
feel like whining.  
  
I never really believed the stories about the senshi, though. I mean,  
what kind of idiot mixes it up with the denizens of hell wearing  
nothing but a skimpy jumper and an almost nonexistant skirt? Okay, I  
have met plenty of people stupid enough to do that in my eighteen  
years of life, but none of them were actually able to survive despite  
their stupidity. Then again, if the stories were true, these bitches  
were packing some heavy duty firepower. That lightning bolt had been  
pretty heavy on the magic.  
  
"Um, why are you girls trying to kill me? Sailor Jupiter, right?" I  
asked pleasantly, all the while building my power levels up from a  
resting to active state and wrapping myself in as many planes of  
protective force as I could muster on such short notice."What's a cute  
girl like you doing throwing around lightning bolts at a nice guy like  
me?"  
  
Sailor Jupiter appeared dumbstruck, a heavy blush coloring her cheeks.  
Holy shit, it worked! Sailor Moon, at least that's who I assumed the  
blond chick with the odangos was, looked down to a small black cat and  
asked,"Are you sure that he's evil? What has he done to deserve being  
dusted?"  
  
Nasty creatures, cats. Never had much use for the little buggers.  
"Don't be a fool, he has evil rolling off of him in waves," the cat  
hissed. Well I'll be damned, a talking cat. For the record, the  
'evil rolling of me in waves' isn't really evil. I personally think  
that I'm just further along the evolutionary ladder than everyone else  
and anyone remotely sensitive to it gets jealous on a subconscious  
level and automatically thinks I deserve to die. Oh well, that's  
life.  
  
"But Luna, what kind of speech can I make if he hasn't done anything  
bad yet?" Sailor Moon whined to her cat, the apparent brains of the  
operation.  
  
Meanwhile, I was throwing myself to the pavement to avoid a geyser of  
liquid ice and a beam of plasma. What a day, what a day. I was up  
and on my feet before they could reach capacitance again. Here  
goes."All right, I tried to be Mr. Not Kill Anybody, but since no one  
wants to cooperate with me, I'm just going to have to get serious!" I  
snapped. By now I had gathered a substantial amount of energy around  
myself. It took very little effort when these girls were practically  
bleeding power into the air.  
  
The next salvo of magical projectiles flowed around me doing nothing  
but ruining a perfectly good arcade.  
  
"Nooooooo!!!!!" Sailor Moon shrieked, staring at the burning pile of  
rubble down the street. Tears streaked her cheeks and her lower lip  
trembled. She turned to me and shouted,"Y-you m-meanie! For  
destroying my favorite arcade and ruining a place of enjoyment for  
countless children I, Sailor Moon, shall destroy you!"  
  
"You're joking, eh?" I retorted."You're blaming that back there on  
me?" I gestured to the rubble."I'd say it was your friends who ruined  
your precious arcade. Isn't that right Mercury, Mars, Venus?"  
  
"Stop trying to confuse me, enemy of fun!" Oh boy, real brainchild  
here. Now I would like to coin a new term. Magical howitzer. That's  
the only thing I can think of to describe this girl. I'd never felt  
anything like it before. Not that she had an unusual amount of magic  
within herself, no, she was just the owner of one hell of an energy  
crystal, but Kamis above and below, if I could handle that much raw  
energy at once I am pretty freaking certain that not many entites  
short of the All Mighty Himself could face me.  
  
The only thing that saved me was the already active protective  
barriers I'd enacted and the ridiculous amount of time it took for  
Sailor Moon to activate her attack. Well, the first one might have  
helped if I had stood there and let myself get blasted out of  
existance. I was on the roof of the 711 across the street and wrapped  
in shadows before anyone knew what had happened.  
  
So much for a nice liesurely visit in Tokyo. Hawaii is nice this time  
of year, I hear. Yes, I always have wanted to learn to surf.  
  
"Hmmm-mmmm," came the quiet cough from behind me.  
  
I whirled, confronted by yet another of the senshi. Me and my sweet  
tooth were really going to get me killed one day. I hadn't really  
needed that gallon of triple chocolate fudge ice cream...No, I think I  
did. Screw this. I told them I was going to get serious. Not my  
fault no one ever takes me seriously. My attack came from either side  
of the green-haired and until now never before seen senshi. Too bad  
that both blades of energy passed through her harmlessly.  
  
"I'm not really here," the senshi informed me.  
  
"Wow, I was wondering why those didn't hurt you. I'm just such a  
complete idiot that I couldn't tell for myself." So I was in a bad  
mood, sue me.  
  
"Nothing is stopping me from summoning the others and having you  
eliminated," green hair warned.  
  
I snorted,"Please, I'm about to piss myself at the very thought." I  
sobered though. This wasn't some off the wall preprogrammed spell-  
slinger. She really knew how to handle her power and she didn't seem  
hostile, yet."Really, the only I don't totally outclass is Sailor Moon  
and she doesn't have the speed or control to make a difference while  
I'm tearing her and her friends into little pieces. So, what do you  
want?"  
  
Green hair nodded, in satisfaction if I'm not mistaken."You are most  
likely correct in your assumption, but in such an instance I would  
have full access to my temporal powers and would be able to easily  
able to destroy you myself."  
  
"Temporal mage?" She nodded again. Almost as useless as cats. Heh,  
never thought taking the time to study up on time manipulation through  
magic would be helpful. I'm not attuned enough with the cosmos and  
all that jazz to truly manipulate time, but I'd bet my life on being  
able to defend against the stuff. Not that this unusual senshi needed  
to know that.  
  
"To the point," she continued."I'm aware of the skill and power you  
possess and know of the trouble you have faced with lesser devil  
hunters since you were a child. It is within my power to grant you a  
certain artifact that would mask your true identity and distort the  
unusual energy pattern generated by your body that misleads so many  
others."  
  
Too good to be true, way too good to be true."And the catch?" Here it  
comes.  
  
"As you must have seen, my fellow senshi are not lacking in power.  
They simply do not have the knowledge and discipline to properly use  
what they have. The very nature of my power bars me from taking a  
hand in their education. If you would teach them, I would be willing  
to make good on my offer." I couldn't detect any falsehood in her  
voice, but illusions aren't all that trustworthy.  
  
"If, and only if, the deal is made in blood." Time for the clencher.  
"Magically binding with exceptions made if any one of them can not  
actually learn." She scowled."Hey, Sailor Moon takes the whole blond  
thing to the limit. I'm not going to have myself eternally bound to  
teaching an idiot."  
  
"Deal." Then I felt the lines of force connecting the illusion before  
me to the mind of its caster strengthen and snap taut as the real  
thing teleported to the rooftop. Nice spell.  
  
Silently, the unnamed senshi drew a small jewel-hilted athame from  
some form of pocket space and lightly ran it across the back of her  
left hand. Good, she wasn't one of those fools that slashed their  
palm open whenever one of the various reasons to use blood arose. I  
did the same with my own vorpal bladed athame. It was a much plainer  
affair than my counterpart's but I bet hers couldn't call up a higher  
level demon just by carving a smiley face in the ground.  
  
We rubbed the backs of our hands together, mentally aligning the  
magical force surrounding both of us and allowing them to mingle  
together for the barest instant. No conflicts. I nodded. The  
agreement was made.  
  
"The artifact you spoke of..." I prompted.  
  
"Oh yes." The green-haired woman's arm disappeared into another  
spatial pocket and rummaged around for almost a minute. When she  
finally pulled her arm free a bra and two pair of panties hung from  
her arm along with the black metal ring clasped in her palm. The  
undergarments vanished almost to fast for me to have seen but the ring  
remained."I assume you know how to change the color of metals."  
  
"Yeah, that's kid stuff." It really is. I accidentally learned how to  
do it when I was five.  
  
"Wear the ring on any finger you want to and simply change it from  
black to white. Your identity and prescense will be totally  
disguised. Return it to black and the effects will be negated."  
  
I accepted the ring and slid it onto my right ring finger. It fit  
perfectly.  
  
"You'll need these also." She drew a manilla envelope from yet another  
spatial pocket and gave it to me."Inside is the address and keys to  
your new apartment and an ATM card. Rent is paid for and I'll be  
monitoring all expenditures, so don't get carried away. I'll arrange  
a meeting with the senshi and inform you of the time and place within  
a day"  
  
If the deal wasn't sealed against anything but the destruction of the  
universe, I would be pretty worried right about now. It was just too  
good. I felt the beginnings of another teleport spell and quickly  
asked,"Who are you?" She did know quite a bit about me. It was only  
fair.  
  
"Sailor Pluto," was the only response I got before she faded away. I  
was hoping for a name and a phone number. Not my fault that she was  
hot.  
  
The senshi who were now to be my students were nowhere in sight.  
  
****  
  
I sought out my new place immediately. Not that I didn't just love to  
prowl the streets of Tokyo at four a.m., but a few hours of sleep  
never hurt anyone. It took an hour of roof hopping, and occassional  
bursts of flight to find the apartment. It was in one of the more  
expensive areas of Tokyo. Sailor Pluto must really have money to  
burn. Well furnished with all the latest high-tech junk, a tv with a  
few thousand channels(thirty of which were porn), and a very well-  
stocked fridge. This was too good.  
  
****  
  
Early the next morning a horrendous scream combined with a moderately  
powerful 5.0 earthquake shook Tokyo and its surrounding suburbs.  
  
****  
  
Goddamnit!!! I knew it was too good to be true. Damnit, damnit,  
damnit!!! Arrrrrgggggggggghhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!  
  
The change is complete. Absofuckinglutely complete, right down to the  
plumbing. How could one little ring, barely enchanted, work such a  
dramatic shift? I really don't care. Now I have to turn into one of  
the sweetest pieces of ass I've ever seen just to teach a bunch of  
inept devil hunters how to do their job. Oooooooo, Pluto is so dead.  
Just as soon as the agreement is fulfilled.  
  
****  
  
The busty redhead's image disappearred from the gateway, replaced by  
that of a taller, black-haired male. Sailor Pluto, a.k.a. Setsuna  
Meiou, didn't think she would be dropping by earth for some years to  
come. Not on the same continent as Ranma Saotome, anyway.  
  
****  
  
Author's Notes: I've been suffering from really bad writer's block for  
a while now. That combined with being cut off from the internet by my  
mom the super psycho mega bitch has really kept me from writing or  
getting any inspiration. Hopefully this will be the start of at least  
a semi-regularly released piece of fiction. If not, I'm sorry. This  
is written in a style that I'm not really all that familiar with so  
any C&C on ways to improve it would be really appreciated. Not that I  
get too many chances to check my e-mail, but I go back to college in a  
few weeks(praise all the various gods and demons worshipped by all you  
religious types) and will have true access once again.  
  
dark_phoneix@hotmail.com 


	2. Chapter 1

  
Can It Get Any Worse?: Chapter 1  
  
"Why did she make us meet here?" Usagi whined. She was still dressed  
in her pajamas and had static electricity crackling through her  
unbrushed and unmeatballed hair. The other girls, with the exception  
of Ami, were looking equally bedraggled. They hadn't stopped  
searching for the new agent of evil until well after sunrise. That  
had been three hours ago.  
  
Rei, baggy eyed and more ornery than ever, looked at her semi-friend  
flatly and said,"This is Setsuna, she wouldn't tell us if the end of  
the world was three minutes away. It probably has something to do  
with that guy, though."  
  
Makoto sighed wistfully."I really wish he wasn't some sort of horrible  
demon/monster thing in a human suit, because he was a major babe." She  
blushed at the memory of the compliment he had paid her.  
  
"Oh shut up," someone snapped from behind them. They all turned with  
varying degrees of sluggishness to see the new arrival. She was  
short, red-haired, and made all the girls except for one who will  
remain nameless(she blushed instead) nearly insane with jealousy."So  
that's Pluto's name, eh? Setsuna. Anyone know her last name?"  
  
****  
  
I was not in a good mood. Three dozen pigeons could attest to that,  
if they weren't piles of ash and feathers now. And that bus really  
shouldn't have gotten in my way.  
  
"Who are you?" black hair and baggy eyed asked in an 'Oh please give  
me a reason to kill you' voice.  
  
I might not be able to get to Setsuna, but there were plenty of  
targets around here for a little petty vengeance."I'm the retard that  
Setsuna tricked into trying to teach you girls how to use your powers.  
You all are the sailor senshi, right?" There was a very strong  
resembalance between these girls and the senshi from the night before.  
At least they could do a passable glamore spell on their own, at least  
one strong enough to mislead me. My life would have been a good deal  
easier if I had ever been able to do more than make a pimple  
disappear.  
  
"What?" the same girl continued.  
  
"Okay, I'll go slowly so no one misunderstands the words that are  
coming out of my mouth. I am named Ranma. I use magic. I like to  
blow stuff up and kill people that piss me off. I got suckered into  
teaching you all how to do your job." I formed a globe of prizmatic  
light in my left hand and tossed it into the air. It exploded into  
hundreds of motes of light that blossomed into flowers wherever they  
struck the ground. A simple illusion that faded quickly, but it  
served to get the point across.  
  
"Wow, that was so pretty!" tall, blonde, and 'blonde' exclaimed."Are  
you a new senshi? What's your planet? Do you have a cat like Luna or  
Artemis? What color is your skirt?" And the deluge continued for all  
of three minutes without a single break to breathe.  
  
I noticed that the other girls were all giving the air head looks of  
disgust at least as malevolent as mine. Goodie, dissention within the  
ranks.  
  
"No, I would kill myself before I let myself be caught dead in one of  
those things you call an outfit," I said, finally managing to break  
the torrent of neverending questions."I am going to teach you girls  
magic. Does anyone not understand that?"  
  
Lo and behold, the girl of a million questions raised her hand."Do you  
mean we're going to learn to pull rabbits out of hats and stuff?"  
  
I looked at a girl with short blue/black hair. The spark of an  
unusual intelligence burnt within her dark eyes. Wonderful. At least  
one with more brains than a turnip."Could you explain to her that I am  
supposed to teach you magic? You know, wrath of the kami kind of  
stuff."  
  
Non-stupid was explaining while I was being eyeballed suspisciously by  
three other girls. To break the uneasy silence I asked,"About the  
skirts, do you where those by choice or are they some kind of required  
senshi uniform thing?"  
  
They all had the slightly shell shocked expression of someone who just  
found out that they're gay. Finally the tall brown-haired girl  
answered,"They come with the transformation."  
  
"Transformation?" Great. Now they spring something like a magical  
transformation on me. Setsuna was really racking up uncool points.  
  
Long black hair elbowed tall brown hair and she remained silent."Look,  
I don't have a choice in the matter. I made a blood pact with Sailor  
Pluto. You know who I'm talking about? Tall, has green hair, and  
really needs her ass kicked."  
  
"Well, that is true," muttered long black hair.  
  
Before I could get any more info, the smart one called,"I think she  
understands now." And it only took five minutes.  
  
I pointed to tall brown hair and said,"She just mentioned a  
transformation. Would someone like to explain that a little better?"  
  
"I can do that." Ah, Setsuna was actually stupid enough to show up. I  
may not be able to hurt her, but boils and oozing sores don't really  
count. No wait, the forces surrounding the image were skewed. It was  
just an illusion. Damn, guess I'll have to settle for the gentler  
curses.  
  
"That was a real nasty trick you played on me, Setsuna," I  
commented."One day you'll regret it."  
  
Setsuna just nodded and introduced me to each of the girls. With  
names to put to the faces the glamores were completely broken and I  
could easily place them from the night before."The transformation is a  
short cut method that allows the senshi to access their power and  
provides them with certain spell templates that require no actual  
casting to invoke. The transformation automatically includes a  
glamore and magical body armor."  
  
I nodded as she explained. The practice wasn't unheard of, at least  
it wasn't in the time when most of my more potent tomes of arcane  
knowledge were written. I'd never read of such an overall effect  
though. Magical body armor? Heh, heh heheheh. My full blown  
laughter stopped Setsuna from continuing."Those little pieces of  
ribbon and spandex are magical body armor?"  
  
"I'll have you know that during the Silver Millenium that style was  
highly fashionable," Setsuna retorted tartly.  
  
Sigh."What effect does the stuff have besides being every fifteen year  
old's wet dream?"  
  
"Lessens physical and mystical blows and quadruples overall physical  
abilities." This time Ami answered. She had definite potential, both  
in power and the full range of mental faculties needed to grasp the  
more difficult points of advanced sorcery.  
  
Hmm, maybe I could alter that part of the transformation spell to give  
them some decent armor, maybe an actual weapon besides that ridiculous  
sceptre of Usagi's."Well then. That's all I need to know I guess.  
You can run along now, Setsuna. I expect you'll be needing to hop on  
the toilet in about..."I looked at my watch,"six seconds." Six seconds  
passed in silence then the illusion of Sailor Pluto abruptly vanished.  
  
"What did you do to her?" Minako gasped.  
  
"Explosive diarhhea." I grinned evilly. The girls all sported looks  
of shocked horror."If you knew what she did to me then you wouldn't  
think I'm such a horrible person."  
  
I was ignored for a few minutes while a spontaneous debate on what  
punishment Setsuna deserved for sticking them with a psychopath like  
me. They could at least have the good sense to call me sociopath like  
I deserve. I'm not really crazy, really, but I have an image to  
maintain.  
  
"Enough of this crap. We have all day to work on deciding what to  
teach to whom and I don't plan on wasting it. Get those pen things  
that you use to become senshi out and hand them over." They were all  
reluctant, especially Rei, but my hard, glowing-eyed stare diffused  
that situation. I have to give whoever made these things some credit.  
No one would ever think that they were powerful magical tools, novelty  
vibrators yes, but never what they truly were.  
  
"Well, here goes nothing," I said, making sure that I had all four  
pens and a locket firmly grasped in my right hand. A flash of green  
light and a screeching/crunching sound were the only visible effects  
generated by the destruction of the henshin rods.  
  
I expected gasps and maybe a few screams, but not Rei lunging for my  
throat with claws extended. Despite my suprise, I was easily able to  
erect a barrier capable of holding off a completely ignorant,  
nonmagically enhanced mortal. This girl has some serious anger  
control issues.  
  
"Calm down, damnit. I had to do that. It released your magic into  
you without leaving behind a conduit for it to be stolen or controlled  
by someone else." Geeze, this was going to be a long decade.  
  
I wasted the next hour determining that each girl had an extreme  
elemental affinity that was so ingrained that almost all other magic  
was beyond their ability to use. Not my fault. They would all be  
extremely good at what they could do, though. Usagi was going to be a  
problem. Not just because my left shoe was more intelligent than her,  
but because as her control over her true powers grew, her control over  
that giant energy crystal she wore as a broach would lessen. She  
probably would have been more effective if Setsuna had just excluded  
her. I guess I shouldn't complain, I do afterall have all intentions  
of taking that crystal with me when I finish this job. None of the  
senshi will be able to use it anyway and they don't have to turn into  
a freaking girl so they won't be hunted 24/7. Yes, with that crystal  
world domination may not be too far over the horizon.  
  
"Finally, we can get to the actual learning. This is a very weak  
spell that is useless as anything but a magical flashlight. It may  
not even be that good if you generate a dark color." I drew my athame  
and made a few quick passes in the air, leaving ribbons of white and  
green light."Stare at the patterns until your eyes water so badly that  
you can't see anymore. When you've done that do it again and again  
until you understand how to do what the instructions say." Sure, this  
is the hard way, but I'll be damned if I'm going to make it easy on  
them. It would take just as long either way, and this method makes it  
easier to learn the more complex stuff.  
  
No one even questioned me. I spent half an hour focusing the  
spiritual energy that permeated this shrine through my athame and  
using it to rework the spells that I had absorbed from the henshin  
rods. No exertion at all on my part and I had changed the Sailor  
Senshi from sex objects into armorclad and nicely armed devil hunters.  
I'd let them activate the spell themselves sometime later and see how  
they liked it. I had barely finished when Ami beckoned me over to  
her.  
  
A fist sized sphere of soft blue light was slowly orbiting her head.  
She was a fast learner. She was even making it move."Nice work. It's  
good to know that someone here actually deserves the power they were  
gifted with," I sighed.  
  
"This is what the spell is supposed to make, sensei?" she asked shyly.  
  
I nodded and said,"Yep. You caught on quickly. No other spell is  
even a fraction as easy to learn as this one, but at this rate you may  
get another weak illusion finished today."  
  
Ami beamed at my praise. I was about to go check on the progress of  
the others when she shyly said,"Ranma-sensei, I know that you're not  
very happy to be teaching us, and that you were tricked into it, but  
could you try to be patient with us? Especially Usagi. She isn't as  
...dumb as she looks or acts. We've all been through a lot together  
and she's never let us down."  
  
I nodded without comment. It wouldn't do to upset my only promising  
student. I decided that maybe it wouldn't hurt to be a 'little' nicer  
to the girls, but Usagi, in my opinion, was still dumber than my shoe.  
Rei was the next to successfully cast the spell. Not suprising now  
that I knew she had some pretty extensive spiritual training. Her  
natural auraul color was blood red. I was starting to notice a  
pattern with this whole color scheme. Next came Makoto with deep  
green followed by Minako with warm yellow, and finally Usagi with  
virgin white.  
  
"It's pretty late, at least too late for you to learn another spell."  
That wasn't entirely true. Ami had managed to learn the flower trick,  
but she was vastly outgunning her friends with her learning curve.  
Setsuna probably wanted the purely offensive and defensive to be the  
main focus. Good, as soon as she got of the toilet she could look  
back and see me spending weeks on useless crap. Of course if she  
understood more than her temporal magic she could easily know that  
there wasn't much other way to teach the senshi.  
  
Before I made my escape I asked,"Do any of you have any actual combat  
training?" I wasn't hoping for much, but sometimes even I can be  
suprised. Why was I going to teach the senshi how to fight? Beats  
me. I guess I like to do a good job, even if I was tricked into it.  
  
"I know how to do this really neat super kick thingy that helped beat  
a youma a long time ago." I ignored Usagi's babbling and waited for  
anymore responses.  
  
"I have my first dan in kempo," Makoto volunteered. Hallelujeuh!  
  
"I'm a black belt in karate," Rei answered. Praise Bill Gates!  
  
See, never have any hope and anything short of death is a pleasant  
suprise."Good. Tomorrow we start the physical side of your  
education." I didn't give them time to ask any questions. I sunk into  
the shadows and rose beside a trash can in the park across the street.  
All in all not too bad of a day. Setsuna should be noticing the  
mutant lice any time now.  
  
****  
  
Far off in space in the really darks part where evil tended to  
spontaneously appear for no reason but to give super hero types  
anxiety attacks nothing was happening and all was right with the  
galaxy.  
  
****  
  
Deep under miles of ocean, nothing was stirring, not even a giant  
squid, much less a force for evil.  
  
****  
  
Several abandoned fortresses and castles from the time of the Silver  
Millenium remained abandoned.  
  
****  
  
Thanks to an industrious American named Quinn Malory there were no  
unusual dimensional invaders eying our own little piece of semi-  
quantum stability. They were all too busy fighting off a prolific  
race of eyeball eating things with an unreasoning hatred of humans  
that young Quinn was inadvertently leading on a grand tour of the  
known multiverse.  
  
****  
  
And besides a small city in southern California with an extremely high  
vampire to human ratio, there was very little active involvement with  
the forces of hell.  
  
****  
  
So, why was Setsuna getting the Inner Senshi a classical sorcerous  
education?  
  
****  
  
Ranma didn't care for the whole safety of the world, cosmic balance  
between good and evil crap. He figured if things ever got bad enough  
where life on Earth was threatened, he could just call up a gateway to  
an alternate earth or maybe try to break into heaven. Everyone has to  
have a hobby.  
  
Disgustedly, Ranma threw down the tv remote and stalked into the  
kitchen. He would never have guessed that unlimited access to as much  
free porn as he could stand would take all the fun out of actually  
watching it. Damnit, Setsuna was just asking for a viscious case of  
crabs.  
  
****  
  
Across Tokyo in a suprisingly large house for such a crowded area, one  
Soun Tendo, emotional wreck extraordanaire, was rereading his mail.  
  
Tendo, bringing Ranma from China  
  
Saotome,  
  
"Oh happy day! Girls! Kasumi, Nabiki, Akane! Come here! Your  
father has an announcement to make!  
  
****  
  
"I said no and I mean no!" Ryoga shouted in fury."I would rather die  
than pretend that I was Ranma! Do you hear me?! I would rather DIE!  
Do you have any idea what he would do to me if he found out I was  
impersonating him again?"  
  
"What could be worse than turning into a pig when you get splashed  
with cold water?" Genma asked dumbly. He had to do something or the  
schools would never be joined. If they could get rid of the boy's  
directional curse and have those fangs ground down, Nodoka may even be  
fooled.  
  
"I don't know," Ryoga said calmly before exploding,"Maybe being a pig  
all the time!!!"  
  
The boy had a point."What if I taught you secret techniques so  
dangerous that I sealed them away years ago? Techniques powerful  
enough to defeat even my misguided son."  
  
Ryoga lowered the umbrella that was about to crush Genma's skull and  
asked,"What techniques? Magic?" He shuddered at the thought of using  
something as horrible as magic.  
  
"No, you dolt! Martial arts techniques, not that magic crap. The  
Umi-senken and Yama-senken are powerful beyond belief and can only be  
truly mastered by someone both strong of body and mind." Genma looked  
at Ryoga doubtfully as he spoke the 'mind' part. There really wasn't  
much choice though.  
  
"And all I have to do is pretend that I'm Ranma and you'll teach me  
how to defeat the real Ranma?" There had to be more to the deal.  
  
Genma forced a laugh."Well of course you'll have to marry one of  
Tendo's daughters. I hear that they're all more than nice to look at,  
especially the oldest."  
  
The mention of marriage led Ryoga's small mind straight to what  
married people are supposed to do. Before he could even respond, a  
fountain of blood erupted from his nose and he passed out.  
  
The boy would do for now. Genma hoisted Ryoga onto his shoulder and  
started jogging toward the coast of China.  
  
****  
  
Across the pacific ocean, Bill Gates, the only man richer than the All  
Mighty, chuckled darkly as the latest version of Windows was shipped  
out. Try to take away his monopoly would they? Try to split his  
company into mere shards of its greater whole? Ha, they would all  
pay, and their little dog too.  
  
****  
  
"I still don't think we can trust her," Rei said. She was tossing her  
sphere of light from one hand to antoher.  
  
"She finally managed to get Setsuna," Minako commented."That makes her  
ok in my bag." She didn't notice the stares her comment recieved.  
  
"Setsuna wouldn't have gotten her to teach us if she wasn't  
trustworthy," Makoto added.  
  
"And look what she got for her troubles," Rei retorted.  
  
"But from what she says, Setsuna did something pretty bad to her. She  
seems nice enough to me even if she is a little rough around the edges  
and way to masculine for someone so pretty." Thankfully no one took  
notice of the last part of the remark from the nameless senshi.(Oh  
come on, it isn't like this is supposed to be hard to figure out)  
  
"Okay then, what happens if we need to fight a demon, or rescue people  
from a burning building or something?" Rei sounded desperate to find  
some unexplicable fault with Ranma.  
  
"That is pretty important. I'm sure that she'll tell us about that  
today," Ami said.  
  
Usagi was too busy showing Luna her own light sphere to contribute  
anything meaningful to the conversation.  
  
****  
  
Author's Notes: I hope to god that my writer's block has finally  
chosen another helpless victim to torment. Maybe it has, but I'm  
guessing that it's probably just on vacation. Send C&C to  
dark_phoneix@hotmail.com please. 


	3. Chapter 2

  
Can It Get Any Worse?: Chapter 2  
  
I didn't exactly burst through the door to my apartment, but I did  
enter with full powers active and senses at their peak. I wasn't  
really worried. Probably some demon or another stopping by to pay me  
a visit. Yep, two demons actually.  
  
"Ranma," one of them said politely,"would you like to share our meal?"  
He, at least I think it was a 'he', never can tell with those chaos  
demons though, lifted the remains of a human heart. I was about to  
zap someone when I noticed they had laid a tarp out so that none of  
the blood got on my carpet.  
  
"Uh, no thanks. Not into cannabilism. So what brings you by the  
neighborhood? Oh, and by the way, who are you?" I had mostly relaxed,  
keeping only a trace of power with me just encase someone decided to  
crash the little party.  
  
"Don't tell me you don't recognize your old pal Phil?" he asked  
feigning hurt feelings.  
  
"Ah, Phil, what happened to the scar?" I never meant to cut his head  
in half, eight year olds tend to over react when the boogey man crawls  
out from under their bed.  
  
Phil reached across the bloody tarp and patted the other chaos demon  
lovingly on he bare, boil covered scalp. Now that I looked closely, I  
could see a slight set of breast on the other one. Wow, that's like  
finding a human woman with basketball sized implants.  
  
"Cindy here is an excellant demonic healer," Phil cooed. Demons  
getting sappy, what was the world coming to? Nevermind, stupid  
question.  
  
"Hi Cindy, nice to meet you." I threw myself onto the giant sofa and  
flipped the tv on."Not to sound like an ungrateful host, but what are  
you two doing here? Tokyo is pretty much the devil hunter capital of  
the world."  
  
"That's why we're here," Phil sounded scared, probably for  
Cindy."We've been attacked by three different sets of them. I think  
the last ones were the Sailor Senshi, but they were different than  
what the stories say."  
  
I grinned sheepishly."That's my fault, about the senshi. I made a  
deal with one of them, a powerful temporal mage, to teach them magic  
in exchange for a way to mask that damned demonic prescence that I  
give off. Turns out that I got screwed over in the deal. The thing  
that hides my true prescence turns me into a girl. Guess I should  
have known better than to make a blood pact."  
  
Phil was looking at me in sympathy, horror, and not a small amount of  
anger."You're actually teaching those little girls how to be better  
killers? Ranma, I thought you were smarter than that." Not many  
people can get a moral dressing down from a demon that's feasting on  
someone's heart, my nextdoor neighbor for all I know.  
  
"Look at it from my perspective. I'm human. I figured maybe with  
Pluto's help I could actually settle down for a little while, have a  
relationship that lasted for more than a weekend, and get a job.  
Always have wanted to try my hand at assasination." There's supposed  
to be this big time law firm out in L. A. that specializes in super  
natural stuff. They occassionally put word out that they were  
recruiting."But the ring she gave me turns me into a girl whenever I  
use it. This isn't exactly fun on my part. Sailor Pluto is probably  
wishing that she had never met me now, though." I grinned maliciously.  
"Remember that big book of curses I found in your closet last year?"  
Phil nodded."She's currently on number seventy three."  
  
The breath hissed out of Phil and Cindy's lipless mouths in their form  
of laughter."Where'd you put the nipple?" he asked, the topic of mine  
and his senshi problems forgotten for the moment.  
  
I tapped the end of my nose."It should fade away in a few months, but  
for now it'll be hard as hell to cover up."  
  
"When you say she's on the superfluous nipple curse, do you mean  
you've done all the ones before that to her?" Cindy asked. She too  
must have a copy of that book.  
  
"Yep, all in two weeks, too." I watched tv while the demons finished  
their meal. When they had cleaned up their mess, they joined me in  
the living room."Where you been lately?"  
  
"Family reunion," Phil answered."My great-great aunt was in charge  
this year and she picked a plane so far from earth that we had to  
sacrifice ten virgins just to get there. She was 'accidentally' left  
behind when everyone else went home." Phil shuddered."It was a  
horrible place, Ranma, all covered in wild flowers and cute little  
birds."  
  
I mysef don't really have anything against flowers or birds, I do  
however know the effects they can have on some demons. I grimaced in  
sympathy. Back to more important issues."I know for a fact that the  
senshi won't be out for the next few hours and they don't go out in  
the morning. I've been regularly kicking their asses and calling it  
physical training." It really was but Phil didn't need to know that."I  
wouldn't bet on any one of them being able to stand right now."  
  
"Could we crash here? Cindy and I both had to use a lot of energy to  
escape."  
  
"Sure, no problem. I don't have a spare bedroom, but this couch is  
one of those fold out deals."  
  
Cindy was in the bathroom doing whatever female demons do to get ready  
for bed when Phil slipped over to me and my latest attempt to locate  
Setsuna's home. The spell collapsed before it even got close. Oh  
well.  
  
"Ranma, I didn't want to mention it in front of Cindy, there's no  
reason to frighten her, but there were some other guys out tonight.  
They were all nontalented humans, I'm sure, but they had some unusual  
weapons with them. They tried to get us when Cindy was unconscious  
from the energy drain of a spell, but when we got away they turned on  
the devil hunters. Just figured you might not want to get too  
comfortable in that women disguise. They probably won't care if you  
come across as good or evil."  
  
"What kind of weapons?" I asked while using a small hand broom to  
clean up the chalk dust from the spell. I think that I had spotted  
the same guys Phil was talking about last week, real military types,  
but I needed to be sure.  
  
"Looked like a new kind of stun weapon that throws weak energy bolts.  
Not particularly strong by itself, but they could lay down continuous  
fire and there were at least a dozen of them."  
  
I nodded. That kind of firepower can add up quick like."This place is  
safe, I'm sure. If you want to you and Cindy can just stay for as  
long as it takes to fully recover and I'll help you leave the city. I  
don't really get much company, anyway."  
  
****  
  
"Listen up girls," I said to the gathered senshi. I'm proud to say  
that Ami and Makoto were taking the time before lessons began to  
practice what I had already taught them."If you ever run across a  
couple of demons with yellow hamburgerish skin that drips puss, don't  
try to hurt them unless they're trying to tear someone's heart out.  
Even then I just want you to scare them away." I had talked this out  
earlier with Phil, just encase he ever needed to hold up in my  
apartment sometime.  
  
"We fought some like that last night," Usagi said cheerfully.  
  
"Yeah, those are the same ones I'm talking about. They're friends of  
mine and the only reason that one of you girls isn't short a heart  
this morning is because they were tired from fighting off earlier  
attacks by more wannabe devil hunters like yourselves."  
3...2...1...bingo!  
  
"Friends?!" Rei exploded."You're friends with heart eating puss  
demons?" she demanded.  
  
"Actually they're heart eating chaos demons. Puss demons are much  
more lumpy and have a gray complexion. And yes, I'm friends with  
them. I'm friends with lots of demons. You don't think some little  
old lady working in a tea shop taught me magic, do you?" I snapped.  
  
Rei seemed no less angry, but her enthusiasm was greatly  
deflated."But...demons..."  
  
"Not all demons are bad," I said carefully."Sure some of them may eat  
a person occassionally, but who here doesn't like to eat a  
cheeseburger every once in a while. It's not there fault that they  
were made that way. I would have died years ago if demons hadn't  
saved my life." I let that sink in before continuing."I'm not saying  
don't kill demons. No, if you see one minding it's own business just  
scare it off. They tend to go into hiding for a while if confronted  
by someone strong enough to take them out. Demons in the process of  
killing, eating, or hunting people, they're fair game."  
  
"You can't tell us what to do," Rei almost shouted. Angry tendrils of  
flame were writhing around her hands. Oh ho, what have we here? She  
couldn't honestly be planning to challenge me. Only Usagi had that  
potential, and that was years and a brain transplant down the road.  
  
"Well, not really, but my advice is still worth listening to. Mostly  
because almost all demons you find just walking around not trying to  
do demonic things are suppremely confident in themselves, which mean  
they have power, maybe more than you can handle. None of you girls  
should forget that you're just beginners in the heavy sorceries."  
  
The next few hours were spent going over simple katas for the energy  
swords that I had included in the new senshi transformation. I didn't  
really care whether they cut their own feet off with the things or  
not, but it was so fun watching Usagi try to fight a tree, I just  
couldn't help myself. I wrapped up the session by introducing them  
each to the first part of a new spell. They were far enough along  
that I had broken their education up to the elemental affinities that  
they so strongly possessed. Their limitation was going to save me  
years of time.  
  
Ami caught up to me before I left and asked,"Earlier today when you  
said that demons saved your life, why did they do it?"  
  
"They thought that what my father was doing to me was atrocious and  
that children shouldn't have to suffer like I was." She gave me a  
blank stare full of horror. Oops, I think I gave her the wrong  
idea."He was trying to teach me a new martial arts technique. It  
involved throwing me into a pit of starving cats while wrapped in fish  
stuff. I was six at the time, so you can imagine..."  
  
She lost the repulsed look and got one of profound sympathy."Was your  
father a demon?" she asked in a whisper."I promise not to tell  
anyone."  
  
"No," I laughed,"he isn't a demon. He's just the biggest moron ever."  
I patted her shoulder."Thanks for caring though." My fading into the  
shadows didn't really suprise her. She was far enough along and  
sensitive enough to trace my path through the darkness.  
  
****  
  
Over the next few weeks the senshi continued to learn from Ranma.  
With the exception of Usagi, they were all steadily improving, Ami  
most of all. Setsuna found herself the victim of three hundred and  
seventeen temporary curses, a new world record. A race of super  
powerful dimensional space slugs landed on earth with the intention of  
conquering it for its use as a vacation spot. Fortunately the  
invasion fleet arrived in the oven of a noted French restaurant and  
was never heard from again.  
  
The population of the United States of America embraced Windows X with  
the same whole hearted enthusiasm that they always have for new and  
mostly useless crap. Unfortunately, Windows X allowed Bill Gates to  
take control of all electronic equipment larger than a wrist watch.  
The United States was promptly renamed the Land of Gates. The new  
Wizard of Gates immediately began funding an advanced genetic research  
program with the mission of reingineering Janet Reno into a sasquatch.  
  
****  
  
"Anyone want to go out for ice cream?" I asked.  
  
The girls were all pretty perky because I hadn't made them do anything  
but memorize part of a spell. I had never invited them out with me,  
though, and I wasn't sure how they would react. It was damned funny  
the way Usagi's eyes glazed over and she began drooling.  
  
"Ice cream!" the blonde cheered.  
  
Mental note: use ice cream to make the idiot learn. All I had to do  
was work out some kind of controllable mental suggestion that wouldn't  
allow her to eat ice cream...hmm, that bore definite thinking over.  
  
"That'd be great," Minako said with much greater control than I had  
expected.  
  
The ice cream parlor was about to close when we finally arrived, but  
when the man behind the counter saw Usagi he threw a knife across the  
room and pinned the sign that a younger man was turning to say Closed  
to the wall.  
  
"Are you stupid, Hiroshi?" the man snapped."Who do you think I get  
enough money from to pay you?" he asked, all the while discreetly  
pointing to Usagi.  
  
This was scary."What's going on," I whispered to Makoto.  
  
"Oh, nothing really. Usagi only put his children through college and  
kept him going through that last recession." The way she said this  
with such nonchallance was by itself amazing. If the girl ate that  
much ice cream, how did she maintain her figure(only interested out of  
curisouity, not feminine vanity)?  
  
"Oh," was my only response.  
  
Over the next hour I witnessed something that will remain in my memory  
for however many millenia I shall live. Usagi Tsuniko, one of my  
least favorite people in existance, consumed three times her own body  
weight in a combination of forty six different kinds of ice cream and  
a vast array of toppings. At first I assumed that she may be able to  
convert mass to energy, that would explain her high energy levels, but  
I ruled that out pretty quickly. That much energy would have turned  
her into a human glowbug, permanently.  
  
I thought my two gallons were respectable, but the condescending sneer  
the girl levelled at me was as humiliating as anything I could  
remember.  
  
****  
  
My first run in with the militarty guys came a few days later. I was  
just stepping out of a corner convenience store with a few necessities  
when men and women in black fatigues overlaid withsome kind of plastic  
body armor came swarming over the walls on repelling lines and filled  
the street with three large vans which poured forth more of the  
soldiers. Heh, guess they thought I was pretty important. I counted  
sixty visible individuals and three snipers positioned further down  
either side of the street.  
  
"Hey, nice night out, eh?" I asked innocently, staling for as much  
time to erect my defenses as possible. Ooo, a helicopter. I'm moving  
up in the world.  
  
"Place your hands above your head and slowly walk into the light,"  
ordered a man who sounded like he had had a baseball bat shoved up his  
ass at birth.  
  
Now these guys obviously had some pretty reliable sources of  
information and they were extremely well trained if they were willing  
to hunt down demons without magic, technology be damned, so what made  
them think having my hands in the air would matter one way or the  
other when I started blowing stuff up.  
  
"Nice guns, coulda swore those were illegal in Japan," I commented as  
I complied with the order, first setting my groceries out of harm's  
way on a newspaper rack. Phil had been right on the money when he  
described the weapons they carried. I could feel the electric charge  
contained within them. I couldn't stop a derisive snort from  
escaping. Completely non-magical. Phil must have been good and tired  
before he ran into the goons. They probably were effective against  
vampires and the like, though.  
  
"Do not speak unless you are spoken to," baseball bat ordered.  
  
Blah blah blah. Poor guy's one of those dips who gets off on telling  
other people what to do, or I'm not about to throw this fireball...  
"Kiyaaahh!" Heh, bet they weren't expecting that! The ball of emerald  
green fire grew from a pinprick of light a meter from my chest and  
into a two foot sphere of controlled death in a fraction of a second.  
This was going to be a majorly bad way for all these relatively  
innocent people to die.  
  
Tiny bolts of electricity rebounded from my personal shields for  
another second or two before the sphere exploded. I couldn't make it  
take out the snipers without killing a few dozen families, so I guess  
word would be getting back to the guys in charge what I was capable  
of. If only they really knew.  
  
Around me and my little calm piece of space, green and purple fires  
raged, slowly eating away at anything living. The screams were ear  
splitting and lasted for nearly a minute. When I cut power to the  
magical fire, the street was littered with the clothes, armor and  
weapons of all the dead soldiers, and there were three vans with  
government tags on them sitting as pretty as you please in the middle  
of the street with no evidence that they had ever been occupied.  
  
I wondered if they were really government sanctioned or if the plates  
were false. If they were false then I had just pissed off a really  
rich man or woman that had more money than they know what to do with  
and could expect to deal with more of the same shit on a regular  
basis. If they were government, everything would be the same as above  
except I would most likely be killing more of them next time.  
  
****  
  
I decided I'd better warn the senshi, just encase they, too, were now  
in season. The shrine where Rei lived was the only place I knew of to  
find any of them, so I headed there as soon as I returned my groceries  
to the apartment.  
  
The shrine was closed for the night and I had to knock on the door for  
a few minutes before anyone answered. I remembered to go girl only  
moments before the door opened. It was that little old man I'd seen a  
few times while teaching the senshi. He seemed nice enough and never  
butted into other people's business so I had nothing against him. Too  
bad he was so old, he would have made an excellant sorceror.  
  
"Ah, young Ranma, what can I do for you at such a late hour?" he asked  
cheerfully. The old guy gave me the once over, but I couldn't really  
blame him, not when I spent a considerable amount of time in front of  
the mirror every morning checking out my own bod.  
  
"Is Rei here? What I need to tell her could wait till tomorrow if she  
isn't, but it's important that I speak to her if she is." I felt him  
sloppily probing my aura as I spoke. Hmm, he most definitely had had  
more than the spiritual training expected of a shinto priest.  
  
"Of course she's home," the grandfather replied. I think he was Rei's  
grandfather, anyway."Come in, come in." He led me through the spacious  
interior living quarters and stopped in front of a traditional sliding  
door."I'll leave you two to your girl talk."  
  
As the little old man made himself scarce, I knocked on the wooden  
frame of the paper door."It's me, Ranma, open up."  
  
A few seconds later the door slid open and Rei stood staring at me in  
a pair of baggy red and black pajamas."What do you want?" She didn't  
sound happy.  
  
"Lighten up. I came to warn you since I don't know where the other  
senshi live. I was attacked by a company of commandoes tonight. From  
reliable sources I have info that they're going after anybody with  
supernatural abilities, good or bad, regardless of intentions. Call  
the others on that cute little wristphone thing and tell them to meet  
at the shrine at 6:30 tomorrow morning. And from now on don't go  
anywhere by yourself, always have at least one other senshi with you.  
Oh yeah, feel free to kill as many of them as you can if they do try  
to take you in." I finished and turned to leave, catching the barest  
hint of a nod from the girl.  
  
****  
  
Author's Notes: I really need suggestions on this fic. It's weird.  
Tell me if you think I'm being too hard on Usagi. I'm sorta  
biased(really hate her). Send me C&C at dark_phoneix@hotmail.com  
  



	4. Chapter 3

  
Can It Get Any Worse?: Chapter 3  
  
"Rei told us why you wanted to meet so early, Ranma," Ami said. I  
think she was the only one of the senshi capable of forming coherent  
words right then.  
  
"Good. She might have already told you, but from now on always travel  
in at least pairs. That probably won't really help you if these  
people are seriously interested in grabbing you, it will however give  
one of you a chance to escape and tell me. You girls aren't my  
favorite people, but I still have that deal to teach you magic and  
you're all basically good at heart, despite your many many faults, so  
I will come to the rescue." Ugh, I hate playing good semaritan. Not  
that I would leave anyone to be experimented on by a bunch of  
incompetent scientists.  
  
Usagi sniffled in fear, I thought. Then she said,"Y-you really care!"  
That diving glomp/bear hug of hers is pretty effective."Does that mean  
you don't hate me? Would you like to come to dinner with me tonight?  
The other senshi and me are going to the mall tomorrow, wanna come?"  
  
Ami to the rescue. I saw the soft blue light of a spell form in her  
hands and the next thing I know, Usagi is snoring on my shoulder. Ami  
was too good to be stuck with this bunch. I started making plans to  
begin giving her private lessons. She was far enough along to learn  
from books without my help and if she improved as quickly as she had  
so far, I would soon have a teaching assistant. Listen to me,  
sounding like a real teacher. Setsuna will be getting that demonic  
yeast infection I'd been saving for a special occassion.  
  
"Nice work, might want to work on the amount of visible energy  
produced by the casting," I told Ami. I didn't exactly drop Usagi.  
It's not my fault that she lost muscle control when she fell asleep.  
All that grass and mud broke her fall just fine.  
  
"When she wakes up, tell her she was just dreaming, will ya?" I asked  
no one in particular."We're going to go off the lesson plan today,"  
damnit I just keep getting worse every day,"and I'm going to try to  
teach you all a very minor shield spell that you can keep active all  
day without draining your own energy. It'll give you a little  
protection from the weapons the hunters are using. Don't worry about  
waking Usagi, she won't be able to grasp this for at least another  
month."  
  
The senshi would be starting school again in a few days and out of the  
kindness of my heart I had been giving them half days. I kept this in  
effect even with the present threat. They wouldn't be very effective  
if they were burnt out, afterall. They were piling out of the small  
back yard to the shrine residence when I mentally impressed a desire  
to talk to Ami on her mind. It's not mind control, especially on  
someone as intelligent as the Senshi of Mercury, and she knew what it  
was anyway.  
  
She was still trying to stuff books into her backpack when she walked  
over to me. That's something I don't understand about the girl.  
She's smarter than me(really sucks to admit that), and I finished high  
school when I was eleven, so she could have easily been through collge  
and making lots of money somewhere by now."Sensei? Did you send me a  
mental summons just now? I'm not sure if I wasn't just imagining it,"  
she said as shyly as ever. Real confidence problem with her.  
  
I made sure none of the others were in hearing range and said,"Ami, as  
I'm sure you've noticed by now, you are making much better progress  
than your friends. Rei and Makoto aren't bad, but honestly, you're  
the only one of the senshi that I would have willingly chosen to  
teach. You're a natural sorcerress. If you would be willing to take  
the time, I could teach you at a much faster pace than the others.  
That would help everybody. You could help me teach your friends in  
the afternoons after school starts and I could teach you in the  
evening."  
  
Ami didn't take any time making her mind up, contrary to the hemming  
and hawing I had expected. She nodded her head enthusiastically and  
said,"That would be wonderful!"  
  
It's not like I had anything better to do, so I said,"I don't have any  
plans tonight. It would be as good a time to start as any."  
  
"That's fine. My mother is carrying an extra shift tonight at the  
hospital so she won't know if I stay out late."  
  
She ran and caught up with the other senshi and told them something  
along the lines of she was getting some extra tutoring or something.  
I couldn't tell exactly with the traffic going by the sidewalk.  
  
****  
  
"Setsuna got it for me," I told Ami when I saw her staring at my huge  
apartment in awe."Heh, I bet she wishes she had been a little more  
forthcoming with me now."  
  
Ami looked at me oddly and asked,"Why's that?"  
  
It probably wouldn't be good to tell her what a mess I had made of her  
semi-mentor."Oh...nothing. Complex magical stuff you wouldn't  
understand." Well that was partially true."Make yourself at home. I'm  
gonna fix a sandwhich, want one?"  
  
"Sure, that'd be great." She sat down and began flipping through the  
channels on my tv. She looked shocked. I understood the feeling. I  
never would have believed there were three thousand channels.  
  
We ate our sandwhiches and finished watching a news program on the  
Sailor Senshi. I couldn't help but laugh at some of the ideas people  
had about these girls. Secret government super soldiers was the best  
though. I mean, super soldiers, it was too funny to believe. I had  
to keep myself from falling over laughing because Ami appeared  
flattered by the show and I didn't want to hurt her feelings.  
  
"You're going to need an athame before we can go much further," I  
commented when the program was finished.  
  
"A what?" Ami asked.  
  
"Ritual knife. It helps to focus energy into finer and more coherent  
patterns. There are a lot of spells that can't be performed without  
one until you have a lot of experience." I pulled mine from it's wrist  
sheath."You've seen me use it to draw the spell patterns in the air?"  
Ami nodded."I could have done it without the athame but it would have  
taken more energy and the image wouldn't have remained legible for  
nearly so long."  
  
"Uh, where can I get an...athame?" she asked.  
  
"I'm pretty sure there are at least a few shops in Tokyo that sell  
them, but for now I have one you can borrow." It took a minute of  
digging through my luggage to find the plain copper bladed  
dagger."Copper doesn't draw and focus as much energy as iron," I told  
her."It'll be easier to learn with it."  
  
Ami took the proffered blade and tested the weight and feel. As she  
stroked it through the air a blue spark leapt from the blade. It's  
nice to be right all the time.  
  
"What do you think about ice flame?"  
  
****  
  
Wouldn't you know it would be just like Usagi to decide to walk to the  
store for a quick ice cream fix in the middle of the night? I knew I  
should have put that mental block on her earlier. Ami, being the only  
member of the senshi to know where I lived, arrived early, like 6  
a.m., beating on my door frantically. It was their first day of  
school and I was sleeping in late, content with the knowledge that I  
didn't have to see the meatball head for an extra six or seven hours.  
  
"All right, all right!" I shouted."I'm coming! Hold your horses!" I  
threw open the door, an invisible blade of force gathered in my free  
hand.  
  
Ami rushed in, nearly knocking me over in my sleep fogged  
mind."Usagi's missing," she informed me."We always get her up  
especially early on the first day of school and the beginning of the  
new semester so that she can find her way to her classes. It was my  
turn today," she rambled on while I was getting dressed. One day I  
was going to get caught without that damned ring on and there would be  
a world of trouble for me. Thankfully she didn't see me in the  
darkened apartment until I had activated its enchantment.  
  
"Are you sure she didn't just go to school on her own?" Even I knew  
that idea was a joke.  
  
The look she shot me made me proud. It was my 'what kind of idiot are  
you' stare.  
  
I didn't waste any time. If Usagi felt sufficiently threatened and  
was frightened enough she could start up the magical howitzer act  
again. She still had more than enough control over that crystal.  
They, whoever they were, would probably just kill her instead of  
trying to subdue an energy and speech spouting weapon of  
destruction."Where are the others?"  
  
"They're waiting down in the lobby. Luna and Artemis are with them."  
She knew that I didn't like the moon cats and that they didn't like  
me. I think they could smell a similarity between my female form and  
my natural male form.  
  
I nodded and we headed out the door. The senshi were indeed waiting  
in the lobby, already transformed into full battle armor with their  
weapons drawn and a primed spell crackling in the free hand. Ami  
activated the modified transformation sequence and within minutes I  
was leading four pissed off senshi down the nearly abandoned street.  
If it had been any of the other girls I would have had to perform a  
spell to locate them, but Usagi and her crystal were easy enough to  
track down that I could just follow my nose, figuratively, of course.  
  
At the speed we were travelling we arrived in the warehouse district  
within half an hour. That's quite an accomplishment when you consider  
that it was on the other side of the city with all those big buildings  
in the way.  
  
"No mercy. You see someone in black, they die. If any of you have a  
problem with that then go home now and leave the rescuing to me." I  
thought that at least Minako and probably Ami would bale out. I was  
wrong. If anything, they're expressions became more fierce and they  
followed along right behind me. Damn, how can someone like Usagi  
inspire such loyalty? Must have something to do with pity.  
  
There wasn't much I could do about any surveilance cameras, not while  
keeping myself wrapped in the equivalent of a magical nuclear  
bombshelter, but the people set to keep watch were another story. I  
dropped three of them before the senshi even knew they were being  
watched. A man rose up from a pile of garbage to my left while I was  
flinging silent blades of air into a building across the street that  
had housed two lookouts. Before I could react, Makoto had roasted the  
man alive and we were moving on.  
  
I hung back and let the senshi work off a little steam on the next  
dozen. They worked better than I would have thought. I choose to  
believe much of that was due to my influence. I didn't spend any time  
looking for a way into the windowless warehouse that my senses told me  
was our destination. A flexing of magical muscles, you could say, and  
I ripped the shorter wall off and threw it onto another warehouse.  
  
Oh boy, what a slaugter! I had inadvertently freed a whole freakin  
bunch of captured demons, super powerful martial artists, and devil  
hunters. They were all in a bad mood. They were all much more  
powerful than their captors. The senshi and I flowed through the  
massacre, looking for Usagi before we let ourselves have any fun.  
  
The girl in question was unconscious and strapped down to a metal  
table with some kind of force field generator forming a bubble around  
her. Technology may be improving, but it is certainly no match for  
good old human ingenuity combined with lots and lots of power. I  
would have used some of that power to destroy the bubble if Ami hadn't  
found the power switch and flipped it off. Sigh, at least I got to  
kill some people.  
  
By now the various groups had gathered together. Demons of at least a  
dozen varieties were feasting on dead and dying men and women. Devil  
hunters, who I guess had been confined in the same kind of force field  
Usagi had because they weren't holding back on their mystical  
retribution, were taking turns blasting their captors. The martial  
artists, some I actually recognized, were just beating the ever living  
shit out of their victims. I saw a couple moderately powerful chi  
based attacks in the melee.  
  
Someone was going to learn a lesson not to mess with their betters. A  
little technology just wasn't going to cut it.  
  
With Usagi over my shoulder, I said,"We better get out of here before  
the demons and devil hunters notice each other." Rei started to  
protest."Remember the minding their own business rule? That's still  
in effect. Some of those demons are children that were probably taken  
right out of their beds in the middle of the night. Besides, the  
cops, and very likely the government are going to be showing up soon.  
I don't want to be here when they do."  
  
I got silent and grim nods from the girls and we bean to cut out way  
through the mob. Along the way I saw a pair of chaos demons trying to  
get out through the hole I had made in the wall. One was injured and  
being helped along by the other.  
  
"Phil!" I called out."Is that you?" The demons turned around and  
started waving to me. Yep, it was Phil and Cindy."Be on your best  
behavior, girls. These are friends of mine."  
  
"I can't believe she's friends with demons," I heard Rei mutter to one  
of the other senshi.  
  
"Ami said that she told her demons saved her life when she was a kid,"  
Makoto responded. Good girl, Ami is.  
  
We caught up with the pair of demons and I passed Usagi to Makoto,  
throwing Phil's arm over my shoulder."When did they get you?" I asked.  
  
Cindy answered,"Phil was having a craving for liver the night before  
last and it'd been a while since I had any, so we went out and..." The  
female demon finally seemed to notice the company I was keeping.  
  
"Don't worry. They won't bother you," I assured her."Senshi, meet  
Phil and Cindy. Phil is one of my oldest friends and Cindy is his  
girlfriend." I still haven't figured out how Phil managed that."Phil  
and Cindy, these are the Sailor Senshi. I'm still teaching them  
magic."  
  
"Hey," Cindy said awkwardly."Sorry we got off on the wrong foot last  
time. I guess I can understand where you're coming from though."  
Cindy must be one of those human rights demons.  
  
"Yeah," Phil agreed, groaning through the pain of a smashed leg.  
"Thanks, by the way, for getting us out of that hell hole." That got a  
laugh from me and the girls.  
  
The streets were slowly starting to feel with morning commuters and  
people going about their business. We were already drawing more than  
our fair share of strange looks. "Cindy, can you heal Phil up good  
enough to hold him over until tonight?"  
  
"No problem," she responded.  
  
"Good. You two are going to have to hide out somewhere today. My  
place is too far away and there are too many people out on the streets  
already." I had already begun mentally going through likely places for  
them to lay low.  
  
"That alley over there," Phil pointed to the alley in  
question."Someone must've dies there recently. It's still got a fair  
amount of negative energy swirling around. Cindy'll be able to work  
better there."  
  
"Right," I agreed. The senshi stayed where they were as Cindy and I  
helped Phil across the street. Once they were comfortable I spun a  
kind of illusion that wasn't really an illusion, just a kind of  
blurred after image of the buildings beside it that would encourage  
people's eyes to skip over it. I couldn't do much better than that.  
  
"They seemed pretty nice," Minako said when I returned. They had  
changed back into cute little school girls, complete with uniforms and  
school bags. Usagi was still out of it and in her pajamas. I sure as  
hell wasn't going to volunteer to do the honors.  
  
"They are. Most demons are like normal people. It's the screw ups  
that give them all a bad name. I'm sure you all have plenty of time  
before school starts, but she," I indicated Usagi,"isn't even  
dressed..."  
  
Ami spoke up."It is my turn to get her ready. If we hurry we won't be  
late."  
  
I left them to decide how to work out their arduous task of taking the  
meatball head to school. Ami sure wouldn't ba able to carry her  
across town, not without transforming. I wondered what they would  
tell her parents. Sleepwalking, most likely.  
  
****  
  
I was sitting in one of those tiny little street corner cafes sipping  
a cup of atrociously sweet coffee and watching an old episode of  
Dragonball when the broadcast was interrupted by a special news  
report. Turns out that those dead guys were government afterall.  
They were claiming that a terrorist death cult that the guys had been  
investigating had made a preemptive strike and slaughtered them all.  
All the shredded and partially eaten, blown up, and burnt bodies leant  
that story a lot of credit.  
  
I was just hoping that they had kept whatever file they had on me in  
that warehouse. Doubt it, though. Life had been getting a little  
stagnant lately. A couple years of making the hunters into the prey  
would be fun. I could even get the senshi and some demons in on it.  
  
****  
  
"What happened?" the Emperor demanded shrilly.  
  
The older man dressed in a cliche black suit bowed repeatedly, finally  
bringing himself to say,"The base was overwhelmed, sir. We have only  
fragments of the remaining security tapes, but it appears that case #  
54687, Ranma Saotome, led case #'s 34532 through 34535 on a rescue  
mission for case # 34531. In the process they freed all captured  
individuals."  
  
"Fools, all fools," the Emperor snapped."You were specifically  
instructed to enlist the aide of all supernaturally gifted citizens in  
Japan, not to hunt them down like demonic scum! Now you and your  
incompetents may have made an enemy of Our most potentially powerful  
allies."  
  
"Yes, your Highness. Whoever misconstrued your decree shall be  
immediately dealt with," the man replied.  
  
"Of course this fiasco was not your fault, correct? No, not your  
fault at all. I want those who were held against their will contacted  
and properly reimbursed with whatever they feel they are owed. The  
time is coming when We will need them all to fight for Us willingly.  
Now get out."  
  
(I have no idea what Imperial protocol is in Japan. This will have to  
do. Oh and I know that the Emperor is really just some kind of  
figurehead, but this is my story so he could be a three headed monky  
if I wanted him to.)  
  
****  
  
"Ami, I want you to take Rei, Makoto, and Minako through the first  
spell I taught you last night. I'm going to try to get Usagi caught  
up." Somehow.  
  
"I still don't see why you get special lessons," Rei muttered. She  
likes to do that a lot, talking about people behind their backs, I  
mean. Enhanced senses can pick up all kinds of nice things.  
  
"Ranma-sensei just thinks that I learn faster," Ami resonded to the  
jab. That Ranma-sensei bit is pretty cool. Not too many people give  
me much respect. I admit that not too many people who know me are  
human, though. If I had been in Ami's position I would have just told  
Rei the simple truth that I was ten time's the sorceress she would  
ever be and for her to kiss my ass. Too bad there aren't more people  
like me in the world.  
  
"Now, Usagi, I'm going to draw this spell in very simple pieces. I  
want you to tell me when you understand one so that I can add the next  
part." At this rate she would be able to cast the spell in a week.  
  
"Sure thing Ranma," she said cheerfully, showing no sign that she had  
been kidnapped only hours earlier."Thanks for rescuing me. Those men  
were going to dissect me. What does dissect mean? Would it have  
hurt?"  
  
I sighed. Another long day in a series of long days.  
  
****  
  
Author's Notes: I think I'm going to try to cross this over with The  
Black Company by Glen Cook in a few chapters. Somewhere in the Shadow  
Games book. If you haven't read the series I highly recommend it.  
I've gotten lots of responses on this and some pretty good  
suggestions. Keep them coming. C&C welcome at  
dark_phoneix@hotmail.com 


	5. Chapter 4

  
Can It Get Any Worse?: Chapter 4  
  
"Guys," Usagi squealed as she ran into the latest meeting of learn to  
be a sorceress,"you won't believe what happenned!"  
  
Since no one appearred to want to take the cue, I asked,"What, oh what  
has happened?" in a voice as falsely interested as I could muster.  
Needless to say, Usagi thought I really cared.  
  
"When I got home there was this really nice woman in a limo waiting  
for me. She says that she works for the Emperor of Japan! Isn't that  
great? She told me that all that stuff that happened last week was  
just a big misunderstanding. You know, when I was kidnapped? The  
government is going to give me lots and lots of money!" she exclaimed  
happily.  
  
I could see that I wasn't the only person not completely thrilled by  
this development. I had used several different methods of concealing  
my route to and from the shrine to keep the other girls from being  
discovered. The government obviously knew of Usagi and I, but they  
could still have been in the dark about the other senshi. Now though,  
if they hadn't known before, they most likely would now.  
  
"What else did they say?" I asked with deliberate calm.  
  
"Ms. Tokaguwa, that's the woman's name, said that from now on they  
wouldn't bother us or anyone else like us. In fact..." And she went  
on to describe what her limited grasp of the situation would term a  
police force to fight demons and other evil supernatural bad guys.  
Those last few words were direct quotes, by the way.  
  
"What about the rest of us?" Makoto asked."Don't we get money too?"  
Heh, could my little angels be getting greedy?  
  
Usagi's face screwed up in puzzlement."Hold on, I'll go get her and  
you can ask her." And she ran back out of the shrine.  
  
Well, so much for secret idenities. Usagi returned, escorting an  
attractive woman who looked nice and trustworthy but gave off some bad  
vibes. Not 'I like to torture people' but something closer to 'I like  
to watch people be tortured'. As long as she didn't bother me, I  
couldn't care less.  
  
"I'm sure you girls will be compensated just like young Usagi here,"  
Ms. Tokoguwa assured us. I'm not about to turn down free money.  
  
"I'll take mine in cash," I said. The woman agreed much too readily  
to my snide demand. People in positions of power like hers don't  
normally take that kind of treatment very easily. Something was up.  
I sat back and listened as all the girls were assured by Tokoguwa that  
they would be treated with the respect they deserved and all that  
crap. I didn't interrupt for fear of being stoned. They weren't  
exactly greedy, just damned close.  
  
Once we were alone again, I told them,"When something appears too good  
to be true, it normally is." I didn't say anything else on the matter.  
With the exeption of Usagi(again), they all seemed to get the gist  
after a moment of thought.  
  
****  
  
"Not that I don't appreciate everything," Ami said one night a few  
weeks later,"but don't you think a spell that slowly freezes a  
person's brain over a period of months is just a little...evil?"  
Despite her reservations over learning it, she had knocked it away no  
problem.  
  
"Yeah, I guess. I learned it from this ice nymph that had gotten  
dumped by her human lover. She made it extra special just for him.  
Even if you never use what I teach you, Ami, the more you know the  
better equipped you'll be in the future to handle unusual situations.  
One day you may feel like freezing someone's brain, who knows?" Not  
that those were adequate explanations for a very painful and  
debilitating way to die. Ami seemed to except them, though, so I'll  
leave it at that.  
  
Later, out of nowhere, Ami informed me,"Luna and Artemis don't trust  
you. They think you've killed Sailor Pluto and are trying to corrupt  
us." I probably shouldn't have left the furballs behind when we went  
to rescue Usagi. Setsuna's tongue was a bit too swollen for it to  
work properly. Neither of which were my concerns, except for the  
swollen tongue being my fault.  
  
"Why are you telling me this?" I asked, honestly dumbfounded by the  
confession. I was also worried. I hadn't felt a lessening in the  
ring's enchantment, but those cat's could be more sensitive to that  
type of magic than me.  
  
"Well, you do seem pretty cynical, and not really nice most of the  
time." Ami answered."I don't think you're trying to corrupt us,  
though, because I know that we're not a threat to you, so what'd be  
the point? You could have killed us at your convenience. And Setsuna  
has gone months without talking to us. No, the cats just don't like  
you for some reason." An adequately accurate analysis.  
  
"Thanks," I said dryly causing her to blush."Do you think that they'll  
try to turn the rest of the senshi against me?" That would result in a  
case of stir fried kitty cat.  
  
She shook her head."No. If you have Pluto's support, they'll stay out  
of your business as long as you don't endanger Crystal Tokyo. If  
anything, your teaching us magic helps to ensure its creation." This  
was new to me.  
  
I asked,"What's Crystal Tokyo?" I was thinking a moon cult or  
something. Maybe try to get back to their Silver Millenium roots and  
all that.  
  
"Setsuna didn't tell you?" I shook my head."Oh. Well, it's the  
reestablishment of the Old Moon Kingdom on Earth with the Prince and  
Princess becoming the rulers of Crystal Tokyo, the capital city in the  
future."  
  
"Is Setsuna the Princess? Who's the Prince?" This really blew. I  
don't want to live in a utopian society like the Silver Millenium.  
Not that peace on Earth and good will towards man isn't a good thing,  
I just don't want everything to be perfect. Where would the fun be in  
that?  
  
"Usagi is the reincarnated daughter of Queen Serenity of the Moon  
Kingdom and Mamoru is the reincarnated Prince of Earth..." she trailed  
off when she saw the unbridled horror in my eyes."Are you all right,  
Ranma? Do you need to lie down?"  
  
Good Lord, what was Setsuna thinking?! It took a minute to get the  
uncontrollable trembling under control."Ami, please tell me that this  
is all some elaborate practical joke. Usagi isn't really going to be  
in charge of the WHOLE planet, is she?" There was still hope if this  
Mamoru guy wasn't a total blockhead. I didn't have much hope.  
  
Ami nodded and I fought down the urge to cry."Where's Mamoru?" I asked  
desperately. That little bit of hope I mentioned, it was in serious  
jeopardy of withering up and turning to dust.  
  
She shrugged."He sorta took a trip to America and broke off contact  
with Usagi. He said he needed some space." Yeah, Usagi did seem like  
the smothering type."With the problems in America now, we don't know  
how he's doing." Heh, Bill Gates had really screwed that place up.  
Might be a nice place to spend a few weeks relaxing.  
  
I sighed."No offense, but I have all intentions of leaving this planet  
if Usagi ever comes into power." I can't see how that could possibly  
happen, even with Setsuna manipulating things. That's it! Setsuna  
plans on running things from behind the scenes!  
  
Ami frowned at me, her brow scrunching up cutely. Gah, I really need  
to get some soon."Usagi isn't as bad as you make her out to be, Ranma.  
She can't help it if she's clumsy and a bit flighty. Setsuna assures  
us that she'll grow out of it." Setsuna again. The senshi trusted her  
way too much. Good thing she's out of the picture for a while.  
  
I acted apologetic, saying,"Maybe, maybe not." To change the subject,  
I asked,"Wanna try to squeeze that flight spell in before you go  
home?"  
  
****  
  
"Damnit, old man!" Ryoga shouted."I am not going to pretend I'm  
Ranma!" He turned to leave but was hit in the back by a small car. He  
picked himself up off the street with much more grace than anyone hit  
by a giant chunk of metal has any right to do.  
  
"I taught you the forbidden techniques, boy!" Genma roared."Now you  
have to fulfill your part of the bargain!" He would have to be  
careful. Ryoga was behaving even more erratically since they had been  
caught by those people with lightning guns.  
  
"Those forbidden techniques that were supposed to be able to let me  
defeat Ranma couldn't even break us out of one little cage," Ryoga  
snapped, dusting his tunic off and glaring at the older man. His  
umbrella was held at his side and had begun to glow a malevoelent  
yellow.  
  
"It wasn't a cage, you idiot! We were trapped in some kind of energy  
barrier. I didn't create the umi-senken and yama-senken to combat  
things like that. Ranma is made of flesh and blood. He'll go down  
just like any other person."  
  
"So how come you haven't beaten him already and forced him to marry a  
Tendo?" Ryoga demanded.  
  
"I may be stubborn but I know when I'm outclassed," Genma responded  
bitterly."My son was trained by the Master," shudder,"and kamis know  
what else. The last time I fought him I was in the hospital for three  
months and it took me another month after that to pee without sitting  
down. I 'know' what the boy is capable of and I 'know' that you can  
beat him." Genma knew no such thing. Ryoga was simply gullible enough  
to believe it."I'm an old, fat man well past his prime. Your stronger  
and tougher than a tank. That combined with the secret techniques  
means you can't lose!"  
  
Ryoga's rage quickly fled, a mental condition that really needed  
looking into, Genma thought."Are you sure?"  
  
Genma smiled and said,"Sure, would I lie to you?"  
  
****  
  
I was still having problems accepting Usagi as future ruler of the  
world. I could have killed her, but that would have been a complete  
violation of the pact between Setsuna and I and the things she could  
do to me through such a connection would make my little joke curses on  
her look like child's play. I had started looking for alternate  
planes of existance similar to Earth last month. Now I was making a  
point of spending at least an hour every night in search of a suitable  
home.  
  
"No, no, no. If you do it that way Usagi you'll make you arm melt," I  
chided Usagi gently. I'd learned that any firmer tone than that would  
make the girl cry."You have to form the proper image in your mind, not  
just push the energy into your hand, here I'll show you-" The arrival  
of Grandfather Hino and his announcement cut me off.  
  
"Sorry to intrude, children, I just thought you should know that there  
is a giant robot rampaging through downtown Tokyo. Back to chores,"  
he said and scampered back inside.  
  
"We have to do something!" Usagi shouted. I'd bet my left arm that  
she was worried about the malls.  
  
"Don't look at me," I said when I noticed four pairs of eyes turned in  
my direction."The fighting crime and evil bit is your jobs. I'm just  
along for the ride." Times like this I think back to when I agreed to  
take this job and I wish I could reach back two months and smack  
myself.  
  
"We're the Sailor Senshi for a reason," Rei stated vehemently."Some  
stupid robot can't stop us. Let's go!" Yay, yippee, and all that. At  
least she didn't make a stupid speech. Saving it for the robot, I'd  
say, not that a robot would care.  
  
"I have a suggestion," I volunteered."Unless you want there to be a  
lot of smashed building and dead people, you might want to try to fly  
there instead of running or taking the bus. A couple of you should  
carry Usagi." Now I know why she had those wings on her last costume;  
she's completely hopeless with a flight spell. We'll just ignore the  
fact that I was acting like a leader here. Thanks.  
  
****  
  
Mysterious Background Music:  
  
:Go Go Bible Rangers, Mighty Praying Bible Rangers!:  
  
"Form Mecha Jesus!" shouted the Turquoise Bible Ranger."That creature  
is a work of Satan and must be destroyed!"  
  
"Praise Mecha Jesus! Divine Left Leg of Smiting is go!" proclaimed  
the Marroon Bible Ranger.  
  
"May Mecha Jesus guide us in the cleansing light of his death rays!  
Right Leg of Holy Wrath ready!" The Purple Bible Ranger turned on her  
stereo and started listening to Christian rock. The external speakers  
broadcast the horrible sound to the evil robot and made it scream in  
pain.  
  
"Lick the balls of Mecha Jesus, um, oh shit, forget I said that! God  
is good, yeah, God is good, that's what I meant to say! Left Arm of  
Supreme Ass Kicking powered up." Reformed Crackhead Bob, also known as  
the Magenta Bible Ranger said.  
  
"The Word of Mecha Jesus is law! Right Arm of Gay Bashing fully  
Operational!" said the Rust Bible Ranger.  
  
"And I'll form the head!" Shouted the Beige Bible Ranger.  
  
Then they said in use,"Mecha Jesus is go!!!"  
  
(Yeah, yeah, it's stupid and blasphemous and really dumb and done in  
bad taste. I like it. I might have the Bible Rangers make other  
guest appearances later on in the series, never know though.)  
  
****  
  
We got to the area where the robot was last reported being seen and  
found nothing but a twitching pile of semi-melted chunks of metal that  
had once possibly been an giant evil robot. Then again, it could have  
been an exploded alien space ship or a lot of buses all stacked in a  
pile and stomped on by the All Mighty. I'm going with the giant evil  
robot theory though.  
  
Littered all over the ground were small pamplets stating the glories  
of God and following in His light. They also had an explicit threat  
to all evil doers(exact words) that the Bible Rangers and Mecha Jesus  
would destroy then if they went against the Christian way printed on  
the back. I didn't know whether I was dreaming or stuck in a really  
bad Gojiro(Godzilla in Japan, right?) movie until I heard a group of  
eye witnesses talking about a giant robot wearing a robe beating the  
other giant robot to death with a giant book. They went on to say how  
they would be going to church from now on. I just tuned them out.  
  
"Looks like you ladies have some competition and they're spreading the  
word," grin,"against evil." Before Usagi could get into another  
session of 'isn't that great', I said,"Of course these new ones  
probably don't like anyone who uses magic, seeing as how the bible  
says witches are bad and that they should die. I've read that they're  
were a bunch of witch burnings in Europe and America a couple of  
centuries ago. Heh, the Bible Rangers," and I had to add just a tiny  
bit of scorn into it,"might be thinking about reviving the old  
practices." Good old Usagi started to gnaw on her gauntleted fingers  
nails.  
  
****  
  
'And in further news, The Wizard of Gates, conqueror of the United  
States of America, has announced his plans to turn Mexico into a theme  
park. When contacted, the President of Mexico was unavailable for an  
interview, but we at CNN's Tokyo branch have exclusive information  
that places Mr. Santiago(I have absolutely no clue who the President  
of Mexico is, sorry) in Brazil. Experts believe he has gone into hid-  
'  
  
I turned the tv off and flipped out of the couch. My life is sooo  
boring. I sleep, eat, play nursemaid, eat, teach, sleep, and the  
cycle continues. Will it ever change? Not likely. Hell, as far as I  
can see, everything is just gonna keep getting worse. Even further  
worsening Setsuna's state of existance isn't really fun anymore. I'm  
just keeping the current curses I placed on her active out of spite.  
  
Seems that there are a few more senshi that no one deigned to mention  
to me earlier. Good ole Ami finally mentioned it in passing, thinking  
that I already knew. I'd actually heard of the Senshi of Saturn, at  
least through obscure references in some really ancient tomes and even  
on a sanscrit tablet an old possessed woman let me see once. The  
Bringer of Silence, real hero down in hell. Not silence the concept,  
but Silence the demon kami of destruction. The Silver Millenium must  
have had some real heavy hitters to leash an entity that powerful. I  
chose not to inform anyone that little Hotaru probably didn't have  
long to live. No one can remain in contact soul-to-soul with that  
much force without fading away.  
  
I'm really glad they were off racing in Europe or wherever it is that  
people care about that crap. From what Ami told me, Neptune and  
Uranus weren't the kinds of people I got along with.  
  
Ami was turning out better than expected. Even with her affinity  
based handicap, she was beginning to grasp the concept of other spell  
types. It'd be years before she's anywhere near as good with them as  
she already is with water and ice, but those of us with the gift for  
magic don't really age all that much. She has plenty of time.  
  
****  
  
"Ranma, I tried that internal viewing spell you showed me last week on  
Usagi," Ami confided worriedly."She has some kind of blockage in her  
brain. I don't know what it is, I'm not profficient enough with the  
spell to tell. I know it's harmful though." Her eyes were red-rimmed  
and bloodshot. She must have really been worried.  
  
I almost joked about the girl having a brain tumor and that being why  
she's such a dingbat. Then I thought about it and decided not many  
people besides myself would find that funny instead of really mean.  
And, possibly, the thing really could be why Usagi was so stupid."I'll  
check it out tomorrow. There's nothing I can do for her tonight. Do  
you feel up to learning tonight?" Hey, I'm not entirely unsympathetic.  
I knew this guy once who had a tumor growing on the end of his dick.  
I felt really sorry for him and his wasn't even life threatening.  
Ami's friend could be dying, the least she deserved was a little  
kindness.  
  
"Yeah, I can manage."  
  
****  
  
"I'll be damned!" I exclaimed. That thing in Usagi's head wasnt a  
tumor at all. It was the most complex magical ward I had ever  
encountered. I'm talking MAJOR. It had to be divine in origin. I  
wasn't about to get any closer to it than I already was.  
  
The moon cats were present for the little examination."What?" Luna  
asked impatiently."Did she suck a cherry up there? I always warned  
her about eating so fast."  
  
"Lady," I said to the cat,"I don't know why that was put in there. I  
don't care, really, it's none of my business. And I am not going to  
try to take it out." You don't mess with these kinds of things. They  
sorta have an astral no trespassing sign on them. Just looking at it  
made my hair stand on end as if I were about to be struck by  
lightning.  
  
"What is 'it'?" Artemis demanded. He sounded more worried than angry.  
His fear was echoed in the appearances of the other senshi.  
  
"'It' is a block or ward put in her brain by the All Mighty, you know  
the big guy upstairs? I don't feel like getting blasted out of  
existance so I'm just going to pretend like I didn't see it and go on  
with my life." Shit, they were looking stubborn.  
  
"We can't just leave it in there," Makoto said."If you won't try, we  
will. Just tell us what to do." Didn't even think about going to a  
doctor. Usagitess must be spreading.  
  
"Do you not understand? There is no one in existance capable of  
removing that thing except for the guy who put it there. If you try  
to take it out or dissolve it, you get a one way ticket to meet the  
guy who put it there. I can't make it any plainer than that." I was  
about to pull Usagi out of her spell induced nap and get on with the  
lessons when Luna coughed.  
  
"Does it have any particular shape?" she asked, sounding curious, and  
a little smug.  
  
Shape? I hadn't really looked at it hard enough to determine it's  
exact shape. Why would I? It wouldn't hurt anything, though, so I  
said,"Rei, could you tilt her head back a little so her eyes aren't in  
the way?" Once my instructions were carried out I again altered my  
senses to see the energy flows within the girl's brain. I continued  
to sharpen the definition until I could see the sharp edges indicative  
of unbelievable power. It did have a sorta curvey hump thing going  
on."Turn it a little to the right and lean her forward some." Was it  
my imagination or was there a crescent moon shaped ward inside Usagi's  
brain? I looked closely then shifted my gaze to Luna and Artemis then  
back to Usagi.  
  
"Someone want to tell me why she has a crescent moon up there?" I  
asked, tapping her forehead with my index finger.  
  
"Ah ha!" Luna cheered, dancing a little jig. Don't ask. I wouldn't  
have believed it possible either. She eventually stopped dancing and  
began recieving completely blank stares from all of us, including  
Artemis. She coughed to clear her throat."Queen Serenity, Usagi's  
mother is Lord Kami's seventeenth removed granchild. He must have  
done this as a favor to Serenity during the reincarnation. He always  
was partial to her."  
  
Wow. That explained the energy tolerance. I wish I had some of His  
blood. It's not fair."That's great. Now we know that Usagi is only  
slightly more divine than normal people. Does it matter? I'm sure as  
hell not summoning the Creator of reality to get the thing removed.  
He probably wouldn't like me too much." So I haven't been the nicest  
and most law abiding citizen.  
  
"There's no need for that," Luna said confidently."If it is indeed a  
crescent like you say, it was specifically keyed into mine and  
Artemis' telepathic power, as limited as they are. My mind will act  
like a key."  
  
It's her life. I for one decided to back away and wrap enough force  
around myself to bend space. I looked down as something brushed my  
feet.  
  
"Mind if I wait in here with you?" Artemis asked."Luna may be  
confident in her abilities, but I'm not."  
  
"Sure. Just don't try using me for a scratching post."  
  
"Luna mind meld!" Luna shouted. A beam of yellow light shot out of  
her forehead and struck Usagi's.  
  
"It's really called a Melmackian head lock," Artemis said."Luna is  
just a little," he held up a paw and rocked it side to side,"you  
know." I could believe it.  
  
A bright, but not blindingly so, flash of light burst from Usagi's  
forehead. It took shape into a house sized crescent of almost solid  
energy and then blazed into space. For the record, that much energy,  
properly harnessed and placed within the proper spell pattern, could  
melt Japan. No wonder Usagi had problems.  
  
****  
  
Author's Notes: Yippee yay! No writer's block! I hereby proclaim it  
defeated. Okay, to the story. Will Usagi change? Maybe, maybe not.  
Still looking for suggestions. Going back to college soon! Need  
sleep. Yeah, I really need to go to sleep now. C&C welcome at  
dark_phoneix@hotmail.com  
  
Later!  
  



	6. Chapter 5

  
Can It Get Any Worse?: Chapter 5  
  
With no small amount of awe, the senshi and I, along with a pair of  
talking cats watched Usagi's eyes flutter open and I could easily see  
a glaze fade from her eyes that I had never even noticed was there.  
Must've been something important locked away in there.  
  
"Are you well, Usagi?" Luna asked worriedly. If she had been human  
she would have been biting her nails.  
  
"Yeah, sure. Why is everyone looking at me like that? Do I have  
something on my face?" No one responded. A plane of air in front of  
Usagi solidified and became reflective. She examined herself in the  
makeshift mirror and shrugged when she found nothing wrong. I  
absolutely know that I hadn't taught her how to do that. Sure Ami  
knew how, but hers are always slightly blue tinted. This one was  
completely colorless.  
  
If her overall intelligence improves along with her magical  
capability, there may yet be hope for the world."Hey Usagi, what's  
three plus three?" I asked.  
  
"Six," she responded without thinking. I couldn't help myself. I  
looked into the coudless blue sky and mouthed the words,'Thank you'.  
I got over the shock faster than anyone else and spent an hour  
quizzing Usagi. The girl had a lot of magical knowledge pertaining to  
white sorcery in her head. That's all the mystical info she had. The  
three nonaligned spells I had managed to cram into her divinely  
thickened skull were forgotten. I patterned her a pure white spell  
that yours truly created, one designed to keep boogey men(they really  
exist) from congregating under your bed. She literally sucked the  
pattern out of the air!  
  
All other attempts at getting the same results with varying classes  
and levels of magic were complete failures. She wouldn't be much good  
in a fight against anything non-hellspawned, but watch out if you are!  
This development had several other advantages. Usagi was no longer  
terminally braindead, or so I gathered from our short chat. The  
Silver Imperium Crystal was about as useful to her now as a chunk of  
concrete. And I didn't have to teach her anymore! I didn't count the  
few hours it would take to teach her all the white aligned spells I  
knew that she didn't.  
  
The senshi decided to take their leader out to celebrate. I didn't  
want to be within range of that much concentrated girlishness. No  
more wasting time and energy on finding a new home and now I could  
really accelerate the lessons for the others. Two or three years and  
I'd be gone.  
  
I opened my door and nearly tripped over an envelope that had been  
slipped under the door. I didn't immediately open it. Once the pit  
that is my stomach had been adequately satisfied and I'd reverted to a  
guy, I got around to it. Turns out Setsuna's webbed fingers don't  
stop her from writing afterall.  
  
Dear Bastard,  
  
I may not be able to do anything to you now, but when the conditions  
of the pact are met, you are mine!  
  
,Your executioner  
Setsuna Meiou  
  
The words were barely legible and there were traces of slime on the  
note. I didn't fail to get the message. She couldn't mess with my  
past or the pact would never have happened and we wouldn't have met  
and I wouldn't have made her life hell. She couldn't sic the senshi  
on me because they already liked me more than her and I did have the  
ring. I'm pretty confident that I can fight off a temporal assault.  
I'm not stupid enough to have absolute confidence against a Temporal  
mage safely hidden away at the Gates of Time, a place where I won't be  
able to reach when the pact is fulfilled.  
  
Only option with one hundred percent survival rate? Separate myself  
from her sphere of influence. In other words, move to another  
universe.  
  
****  
  
A lot more time went by than I would have thought before the  
government called up begging me and my 'proteges' to pull their asses  
out of the fire. Fools should have known better than to perform a  
seaince(you know, hold hands in the dark and chant to call up spirits  
and other bad stuff) on a secret warlock burial ground. What were  
they trying to do, see what they guy wiped his ass with? Any spirit  
that has been emtombed for as long as this one had isn't going to be  
good for much more than that.  
  
"I'm game," I said to the senshi."It's a paying job and really  
shouldn't be too hard. All we have to do is rescue a group of  
scientists. None of you even have to do any work, just come along to  
make sure nobody interferes with me when I'm busy." Bad things can  
happen when people do that. I think that's what sunk Atlantis.  
  
The man in charge was kind enough to have a helicopter ride out to the  
site arranged for us. It was one of those expensive deals that is  
quieter than a hummingbird. I was hopping around in my seat like a  
nervous child by the time we arrived at the closest possible landing  
site. This was the kind of find that people like me, wizards,  
sorcerers, warlocks, etc, all dreamed about. The practice of  
separating oneself from reality at the moment of death had been  
stopped millenia ago, once it was discovered by some halfway  
intelligent wizard that the spirit left behind within its own tiny  
little bubbleverse suffers immense pain for eternity, kinda like hell,  
only worse. If you could find an ancient tomb like this, and had the  
proper training, which I did, you could use the energy to forge a  
magical tool of immense power. Ever heard of excalibur?  
  
The raw power of Usagi's crystal, which I now have reason to believe  
may be one of those magical tools created at a very powerful tomb, is  
nothing compared to the 'pure' energy that can be found contained  
within the bubble that contains the spirit. I don't know why it works  
that way. No one does. I once read a theory that only went so far as  
to guess that since there were no other forces within the  
microverses(better term in my opinion) besides the relatively weak  
energy of a single spirit, that magic is distilled into its most basic  
form.  
  
Whatever the reason, I was getting me something special today. I  
really couldn't decide what I wanted to make it into. Now that I  
think about it, what I would be getting my hands on today would be a  
tiny piece of creation itself. I would get to actually Make  
something. Whatever I wanted(within reasonable limits). Poor  
Setsuna, she was going to be one miserable bitch come tomorrow.  
  
"You certainly are excited, Ranma," Ami commented moments before the  
aircraft began landing.  
  
"This is sorta like my birthday times a million," I confessed. None  
of them would understand what was happening, not even Usagi and her  
little cranial library. White magic doesn't work well when  
interfering with reality. Makes me wonder why someone created the  
crystal just to hand it over to the All Mighty's bastard...nevermind,  
answered my own question.  
  
Ami only gave me a puzzled look. The other senshi were too busy  
staring at the column of rainbow light rising from the top of the  
little mountain we would soon be flying to, under our own power.  
  
****  
  
"Don't let anything within twenty feet of me," I ordered."Not a cute  
little butterfly or a flying saucer. If the Emperer himself shows up  
and wants to kiss my feet, vaporize him." I pointed to the five  
scientists trapped within the column of light being given off by the  
breached tomb. They didn't look happy. In fact from the screaming  
and incoherent begging, I got the impression that they would have  
peeled their own skin off If it would have helped them escape."I don't  
want to end up like that, and I hope none of you do."  
  
"What if it's a cute little kitten?" Usagi asked. She may not be an  
idiot, or an inept sorcerres any longer, but she was still an  
airheaded teenage girl.  
  
"If it's your own mother," I insisted. She glared at me. I smiled  
pleasantly and she turned to look at the screaming people. She  
nodded.  
  
Finally prepared, I made a small cut on the inside of my left forearm  
and thoroughly coated the blade of my athame in my own blood. The air  
crackled with energy and the ground trembled as I began to chant in a  
language so dead and ancient that I didn't even know what continent it  
originated on. As the ritual continued, the world fell away from my  
perceptions. Soon all I could sense were tiny flares of energy far  
behind me that signified the senshi standing guard. Within moments  
even that small bit of sensory input faded away. My mind, with the  
full backing of every shred of power I could muster, was now being  
propelled through that place between existances where an instant can  
last an eternity and infinity can go by in the blink of an eye. For  
obvious reasons, I have no idea how long I travelled this way.  
  
When I found my target my powers were nearing their limit. That  
didn't matter, the hard part was over. Mentally, because I had no  
form here, I reached out to the pathetic little ovoid of milky colored  
wavering light. The shock of contact was almost orgasmic in its  
intensity. Carefully, so as not to lose too much energy, I opened a  
gateway in that microverse smaller than an electron. Despite the  
surrounding environment, I'm sure that no time passed between that  
action and a streak of blue light created by the escape of the soul  
trapped within being jettisoned back towards the relatively more  
pleasant realm of hell.  
  
With the soul gone, the microverse collapsed in on itself, becoming  
nothing more than a mote of intense light. Within my mind I pictured  
the form I wished that energy to take. I decided earlier to follow  
the example of the creator of the Silver Imperium Crystal. Properly  
aligned, I could use such a crystal, one of my own making, to imitate  
almost anything that I could create now. And I wouldn't be limited to  
a simple energy source. No, my crystal would act as a lens for my own  
energy. No danger of burning myself out that way. Combine it with  
the Silver Imperium Crystal...well I'm not really greedy, I don't want  
to challenge the All Mighty.  
  
The milky, multi-faceted crystal took shape in my mind and formed  
simultaneously in reality. Exhausted, I let consciousness fall away,  
avoiding a potentially painful reentry into my body.  
  
****  
  
I couldn't have been out long. The sun hadn't moved perceptibly at  
all. I stood shakily, hastily absorbing my crystal into my hand. I  
was too tired to try using it at the moment. The flattened  
mountaintop had been exposed to an awesome amount of heat, enough to  
leave it bubbling in most places and a thick layer of volcanic glass  
in the areas that had cooled. The senshi were all safely ensconced  
within shields of varying colors. I winced as I took in the sight of  
five badly charred individuals standing where the scientists had been  
transfixed. They weren't suffering any longer. Heh.  
  
"Oops," I said.  
  
"'Oops' is all you can say?!" Rei shouted at me. I did deserve a  
little verbal abuse."Why don't you come over here and have a look at  
what you've done?"  
  
Not in the mood to argue, I slowly gathered up some of the energy  
floating around, there was lots to go around, and tested out my new  
lens. Even with my diminished energy levels and physical exhaustion,  
I was able to cool the molten rock with hardly any effort. I  
staggered over to Rei, who had lowered her shield once the danger from  
the lava was gone. She silently pointed to the bottom of the  
mountain, then swept her arm from side to side.  
  
"Oops," I repeated. What else can you say when you've just  
accidentally transported a mountain, yourself, and a gang of  
sorceress' in training to another universe? They didn't know we  
weren't in our own dimension. The senshi weren't that sensitive.  
They probably just thought we were somewhere in China or something. I  
hadn't even noticed the subtle differences in the ambient energy at  
first. All that late night exploring had paid off, sorta.  
  
With the lens' help, I began restoring my reserves of energy at a nice  
break neck pace that would have turned me into a cinder unaided. How  
was I going to break the news? Better yet, how were they going to  
react when they found out that I wasn't sure if I could get us home?  
  
Transdimensional plane hopping isn't to be taken lightly. Home  
coordinates and destination coordinates have to be firmly established.  
I hadn't done either. I was about to spill my guts when an idea  
struck me. Why did this have to be my fault at all? I could blame it  
on one of the senshi, Usagi would work best, and be just another  
unfortunate victim. Hell, for all I knew, this really wasn't my fault  
at all.  
  
"Wait a minute," I said suspiscously,"who didn't follow instructions?  
Which one of you let something get too close?" I demanded. No one  
came forward, not that I had expected anyone to. I let them get  
indignant and angry at one another, with Rei looking ready to bitch  
slap Usagi, before deciding to play peace maker.  
  
"I'm sorry I blamed you guys," I said understandingly."There was a lot  
of area for just five of you to cover." I felt a little bad about  
manipulating them, but it saved me a lot of trouble and didn't strain  
their friendships.  
  
They accepted that explanation readily enough."Where do you think we  
are, Ranma?" Minako asked.  
  
I shouldn't keep the truth from them. Here it comes."We're not really  
on Earth anymore. Actually, we're not in our home universe any  
longer."  
  
Ami was the first to understand the implications of that statement.  
In a frightened whisper, she asked,"Ranma, do you know how to get us  
home?"  
  
Ah, geeze. They all began giving me the frightened puppy dog look,  
complete with big giant, moistly shining eyes."I know 'how' to get us  
home," I answered honestly."I just don't know where home is."  
  
****  
  
We were all sitting around a good sized fire that I had made when the  
temperature started to drop as evening approached. Usagi was crying  
on Rei's shoulder.  
  
"I can find our home dimension, eventually. It'll take a shit load of  
searching, but I can do it. Problem is that I don't have the  
necessary tools to do that. We're gonna have to hope this world is at  
least partially civilized, because I know how to magically polish and  
silver a mirror, but I don't have any idea how to get the quality of  
glass needed for the proper spells. That's only one essential item.  
I can probably improvise most of the others, it'll just take longer."  
To tell you the truth, I didn't much mind being on this world,  
wherever it was. The naturally occuring free energy that powered most  
magic was of a higher level and quantity here. The air was actually  
fresh, too.  
  
"And I called Shingo a goat faced punk this morning," Usagi told Rei's  
shoulder. We ignored the blubbering girl.  
  
"If we can find food and water, this shouldn't be too bad an  
experience," Makoto said with false cheer."I haven't been camping in  
years."  
  
"That's the spirit. Tomorrow I'll find us something to eat and I'll  
work out a spell to lead us to the nearest people." If there were any  
people."Well, I'm beat, g'night." For lack of anything better to sleep  
on, I conjured up a cushion of air and made myself comfortable.  
  
****  
  
Three days later, after fighting off swarms of mosquitos and living  
off berries and a variety of wombat that I had convinced the girls was  
giant rabbit, we found a dirt road. It was the first sign of  
civilization and cheered the senshi and me up significantly. My  
tracking spell was generally effective. I think that the population  
was just too spread out for it to work as well as I'd hoped.  
  
"Time to take a vote," I announced. Little things like that keep  
people happy."Which way do we go?" I was pretty sure they would say  
east. West led towards some unpleasant looking mountains. Unanimous  
decision. East.  
  
Some time later, I asked,"Why don't we just fly?" I was embarassed  
that I hadn't thought of it earlier.  
  
The girls all blushed. Yep, they were asking themselves the same  
question.  
  
"One of us should have thought of this earlier, like three and a half  
days ago," Makoto said, raising her voice so she could be heard over  
the wind.  
  
It's hard to say for certain, but I'd estimate we were travelling at  
about a hundred kilometers an hour. Plain dumb luck should lead us to  
something besides more road. Roads much longer than what we'd already  
travelled weren't very practical unless they had towns or some kind of  
hotel or supply depot along the way. That would be even more  
important in a preindustrial society. I'm starting to sound like Ami.  
Not the worst of the choices.  
  
I didn't comment on that topic, instead asking,"Have any of you  
noticed the higher energy index of this planet?" I hadn't mentioned  
this earlier and was wondering if any one of the girls was naturally  
sensitive enough to pick up on the fact without it being pointed out  
to them.  
  
Suprisingly, they all said they had felt something unusual. Minako,  
Makoto, and Rei had only felt a slight charge in the air. Usagi and  
Ami were seeing things as brighter than normal even though the light  
level was so close to our natural sun as to be indistinguishable and  
thought they saw and felt odd little crackles of energy when they  
worked magic. Now that Usagi was a mostly normal girl, I had a much  
weaker urge to murder her. She was turning out to be a dependable  
teammate too.  
  
Argh, this camaraderie crap is contagious!  
  
****  
  
Our little dirt road joined with a much larger one made of  
painstakingly carved granite blocks interlocked with one another like  
pieces of a puzzle. The different shades and colors of the stone made  
the road more than an impressive piece of civil engineering. It was  
actually a work of art.  
  
"I wish I had my camera," Minako lamented after a suitable amount of  
time gawking. Geeze, it was a road, not a naked woman.  
  
"Just get a clear picture of it in your head and whenever we get home  
you can imprint it on photographic paper," I assured her."I taught you  
that spell the week before last.  
  
"Oh yeah, I kinda forgot about it. Thanks for reminding me."  
  
"This really is an astounding structure," Ami said, while viewing a 3-  
D image generated by her computer."I've been able to distinguish over  
seven hundred varieties of granite here. That shouldn't be possible."  
  
"This isn't Earth," I reminded."This isn't even our universe. For all  
it's similarities to Earth, there could be just as many differences.  
This is just a minor one." If something like this was gonna happen, I  
wish it could have a waited a few years or at least until the girls  
really understood what was happening.  
  
The Road ran perpendicular to our dirt one, heading off as far as the  
eye could see to the north and south. A few miles further east,  
through a stand of some kind of blue leaved trees, there was an ocean.  
It could have been a really big lake too, if lakes ever got that  
choppy. I hadn't been to the beach in years."Before we head out  
again, do any of you want to go for a swim?"  
  
Minako was the only one reluctant and that was because she didn't have  
a swimsuit.  
  
"Don't be silly," Makoto said teasingly."It's just us girls here." We  
all nodded encouragingly at her. Inside my head there was a giant  
evil grin.  
  
"I guess," she seemed more embarassed at her reluctance itself than  
the prospect of being nude in front of her friends.  
  
I checked to make sure the water wasn't posionous or infested with  
microscopic piranha or any other unpleasnat suprise before letting the  
other girls into the water. The water was only slightly salty. I  
turned back toward the other to make sure they made it into the water.  
Hint, wink, nudge, grin. All of the senshi are really much more  
mature physically than your standard everyday sixteen year old girl.  
And they're hot. No two ways to say it. And they all had pierced  
nipples. What in hell?!  
  
"What in hell?!" I shouted, forgetting to ride out the next wave and  
nearly choking on a mouth full of seawater. I was quickly rescued,  
needlessly, by three of the senshi. I let Rei give me mouth to mouth  
for a few seconds before pretending to start breathing again.  
  
"Are you hurt? What happened? Why did you go so far if you can't  
swim?" I endured their barrage of worried questions, slightly touched  
that they cared. Don't make a big deal out of it.  
  
I told them that I had stepped into a hole and lost my footing. They  
believed me. Then I pretended to just happen to notice the  
piercings."Um, why are your nipples pierced? Not that they don't look  
great and all, you girls just don't seem like the type."  
  
They all looked at Makoto. She blushed, finally answering,"We were  
having a sleep over at my apartment and I fixed a bunch of snacks and  
punch and stuff like that. I spiked the punch a little..."  
  
"But none of us knew that and we all spiked it a little too," Rei said  
guiltily.  
  
"We still can't figure out who's idea it was," Ami said,  
absentmindedly toying with the small gold ring in her right  
breast."All I can remember is waking up and they were already there."  
  
"I remember most of it," Usagi added.  
  
"And since we already had had it done, we decided to keep them,"  
Minako finished.  
  
Well. Well, well, well. Maybe my little students weren't so innocent  
afterall."That's cool. When we get back home, I might see about  
having it done too." Not that that statement was in any way honest. I  
use too much direct energy to ever have any kind of metal in such  
close contact with my body. In fact, Makoto probably would have  
electrocuted herself by now if she wasn't so closely bound to her  
element.  
  
My last comment broke down into a debate on whether gold or silver was  
better, then if hoops or bars were more attractive. I was really  
enjoying myself. They just kept playing with their tits! A storm  
coming in off the ocean interrupted the little party. A bitterly cold  
wind preceded the black clouds. With no shelter in sight and having  
no desire to be stranded in such bad weather, I said,"Get your stuff  
together and I'll make us a little magic tent." Previously, before the  
ritual that had secured my crystal(I still haven't been able to think  
of a good name for it) it would have been an exhausting experience  
maintaining any kind of spell within a storm as fierce as this one  
promised to be. Now I could use the excess energy that I would have  
had to fight to keep the spell cohesive to actually hold it in place.  
  
The dome was pretty spacious, with a sand bottom that was partially  
wet. I covered most of it in an invisible cushion of air, but at  
Usagi's request, I left enough of it exposed for her to build sand  
castles.  
  
"So these last few nights when we were all being chewed up by swarms  
of mosquitos, you could have just made this?" Rei asked, deceptively  
calm.  
  
"Uh huh," I answered, lounging comfortably on the air cushion.  
  
"Why didn't you?" Still much calmer than she felt.  
  
"No one ever asked and I've already taught you the spell that keeps  
insects away. Ami used it. I guess you forgot. Sorry." I sounded  
sleepily disinterested. Rei lunged at me, more playfully than the  
last dozen or so times. I lazily raised my hand and allowed a tiny,  
almost imperceptible arc of electricity to fly from it and directly to  
Rei's right nipple ring. She yelped like a kicked dog and screeched  
in pain. "Play nice," I warned the glaring girl. Waving a finger that  
trailed sparks into the air. I hadn't really hurt her, I knew. She  
could have brushed her hair and gotten more of a charge than what I  
just used.  
  
Rei had a maniacal gleam in her eyes that amost made me raise my  
shields. I noticed that she was lookin at Usagi instead of me and  
relaxed. Fire being the girl's element, it was difficult for her to  
create any kind of electrical energy, but when she managed to call it  
up, Rei's effort was a sizable charge about ten times stronger than  
what I used on her. I winced in sympathy for Usagi and covered my  
ears.  
  
The scream was blood curdling and Usagi's spasming leg caused her to  
destroy what she had claimed to be a copy of the palace she had once  
lived in during her previous life. It had looked pretty good. A few  
minutes later I was forced to restrain the two girls who were really  
going at it.  
  
"It was just a joke!" Rei swore vehemently."I didn't mean for it to be  
that strong, Usagi. I promise!" The big hand print on the side of her  
face would definitely leave a mark.  
  
Usagi glared at her friend, all the while rubbing at her pained  
nipple. What had I started? I sighed and let fly with another charge  
of electricity, equal to what Rei had used on Usagi. Rei flopped  
around like a fish out of water. When she stopped screaming, both her  
and Usagi were glaring at me."Hey, don't look at me like that. I did  
it to Rei because she was trying to gouge my eyes out again. Rei did  
it to you out of sheer bitchiness. I did it to Rei again so that she  
would have the common sense not to try it again."  
  
The other senshi had watched in a mix of fascination, awe, and horror.  
I couldn't blame them for protectively covering their chests with  
their arms. Those things are a lot more sensitive than a guy's. For  
obvious reasons, I know all to well.  
  
"I'm sorry that I started this crap. There. Now I'm going to go to  
sleep and we're going to forget that this ever happened." I made  
myself comfortable and closed my eyes. Things would be back to normal  
tomorrow, if a little strained between Usagi and Rei  
  
****  
  
Author's Notes: Another one. I'm once again finishing this one up at  
about five in the morning, so I'll just leave the notes to a thanks  
for the responses and a good night to everyone out there. C&C welcome  
at dark_phoneix@hotmail.com  



	7. Chapter 6

  
Can It Get Any Worse?: Chapter 6  
  
Within hours of setting out the next morning, we found, at last, a  
destination. The city sat behind massive walls of the same type stone  
and construction of the road. Ninety meters high and half that thick,  
I couldn't help but be impressed by the work. The city itself was  
huge. The buildings were all low to the ground and constructed of a  
single color of stone. When viewed from above, the buildings took on  
the same pattern of organization as in the road. Oh yeah, there  
wasn't anyone living in the place. There could have been people, or  
six tencacled clams or whatever passed for intelligent life on this  
planet hiding somewhere, but I didn't see any signs of them.  
Windblown dust had gathered in corners and between buildings,  
suggesting significant age.  
  
"Did we scare all the people away?" Usagi asked sadly. I shook my  
head. I was still feeling a little sorry for Usagi after last night's  
unfortunate incident and I didn't want to make her cry by rebuking  
her.  
  
"Look around," I said once Usagi's attention was focussed  
elsewhere."No one has lived here in a long time." Besides the dust,  
though, there was no debris or litter. There was nothing except  
stone. Wooden window casements in some of the dwellings we passed had  
rotted away to nothing. I wouldn't even have known that any had ever  
existed there if not for Ami pointing it out. That little computer of  
hers has to be magically augmented, I just don't know how.  
  
"This is a nice place," Makoto said after we had walked into a sizable  
square with a still functioning fountain that sprayed a fine mist into  
the air."Why would anybody abandon it?"  
  
"Who knows?" I shrugged."A plague could have killed off the  
inhabitants ten thousand years ago or they could have decided that  
living in such a colorful place was aggravating. We'll never know." I  
didn't feel any magical agent at work, so how could the stone this  
city was composed of have escaped the relentless erosion of nature,  
especially a place so close to an ocean that would bring in frequent  
storms and a steady and continuous salt spray to further speed  
destruction?  
  
"Then I," and Usagi did a little semi-speech,"shall claim this the  
City of Usagi!" She raised her arm and swirled it around, collecting  
energy and forming it into an extremely skillful construct. It was  
well done, the flag of silver with her picture on it, though not  
really suited to my tastes.  
  
I watched, with the senshi as witnesses, as Usagi flew to the top of  
the highest structure and planted her flag. The silver fabric caught  
a nonexistant wind and unfurled completely, giving off a radiant glow.  
"Maybe it's something in the air," Minako supplied to the silence of  
big eyes and giant sweat drops.  
  
"What do you think?" Usagi asked, streamers of pure happiness twirling  
around her. Sometimes there can be such a thing as too Good.  
  
"Uh, it's great, Usagi," I replied."What made you think of such a  
wonderful name?" Everyone else just nodded along with me.  
  
The girl shrugged and smiled."It just felt right." She shivered."I  
just couldn't stand for such a pretty place to be so lonely and  
abandoned." As long as she didn't try to clean it up and make all nice  
and shiny, I couldn't care less what she called it.  
  
"The next one is mine," Rei snapped, irritable that she hadn't thought  
of claiming the city first. Those two have a really weird love-hate  
relationship, kinda like the one my mom had with the old bastard, but  
without the sex.  
  
All the senshi, even Ami, then called dibs on who would name what.  
Poor Minako looked like a sulky little kid when she found out everyone  
was ahead of her. Ha, watch this."You all have your fun. If we don't  
find anyone to tell us otherwise, I'm claiming and naming this  
planet." Ha ha ha."Ranma has a nice ring to it, don't you think?" The  
choking noises made by Rei and Makoto were worth letting myself get  
caught up in the small lapse into silliness.  
  
****  
  
Ami and I were the only ones who had decided not to go explore the  
city in more detail. We were sitting outside the wall at a small fire  
and eating berries from a big leaf I had wrapped them in. There  
weren't any wombats around and I didn't feel like hunting much.  
  
"Ranma, if the whole planet is like Usagi's city, we're screwed," Ami  
said around a mouthful of berries. I congratulated myself on getting  
Ami to say 'screwed' within a normal conversation. A little time and  
I could maybe get a few curse words worked into the senshis'  
vocabulary.  
  
"Yep," I agreed."Of course I get to be Emperor of Ranma, then." Ami  
smiled worriedly. Heh."Really though, if it comes down to the wire,  
and I can't find what we need, I can just tear a hole into another  
universe." My crystal and I can do that, for the record. Not me  
alone. No one has that much power, even Silence and Saturn."That  
would destroy this planet. That's a last resort measure, though,  
because we could end up somewhere worse. I'm on good terms with the  
inhabitants in the Hell of our universe, destroying an entire sentient  
species by accident though," I shook my head,"Would get me personal  
attention from the Prince of Hell himself."  
  
Ami was staring at me when I looked up to get some more berries."You  
mean you've really been to hell?" she asked disbelievingly."I thought  
all those references were just jokes."  
  
"No really, I have. It's not a bad place to visit, a little warm for  
my tastes, but nice, in a...red sort of way. The Dark Prince isn't a  
bad guy, he just got stuck with a crappy father." I've had my fair  
share of bad parenting, so I know.  
  
"But the...tormenting of lost souls...and eternal damnation..."  
  
I waved that off."Hell isn't what people think it is. You have to do  
something 'really' bad to go to hell. Trust me, if you're there, you  
deserve it. I was just babysitting Nicky, so I'm the exception."  
Nicky's a nice kid. Too bad his brothers hit him with that shovel.  
  
"Who's Nicky?" Ami sounded resigned, like she just couldn't help but  
believe me.  
  
"The Dark Prince's youngest son. He's a bit on the goofy side, not  
really Prince of Hell material. I've heard that his mother was a  
goat, so you can't really expect much." The berries slowly dwindled  
away in the silence. I hope the other girls can find themselves  
something to eat or their going to throw a fit."Ever hear of Hitler?"  
Stupid question, I know. I told her about his twice daily anal  
pineapple rape and had her cracking up pretty good by the time the  
girls came back, a monstrous watermelon held between them.  
  
"Look what we found!" Usagi exclaimed. That was a big damned  
watermelon. We made a feast of it, sporadically interrupred by a  
shootout between Rei and Usagi with peach pit sized seeds. I showed  
my little group of girl scouts how to remove the moisture from thin  
slices of the melon, producing a huge quantity of dried watermelon  
chips. I didn't ask Usagi why she carried garbage bags in her purse,  
it seemed like a waste of breathe. No more picking berries for a  
while.  
  
****  
  
Weeks later, with no other sign of civilization besides the Road and  
Usagi's city, I started to get worried. My companions and I were all  
in relatively good spirits, though for how long I couldn't guess. I  
'm really thinking about getting rid of this damned ring and letting  
the senshi know who I really am. It's not like they could destroy me,  
and I'm the only one with the know how and power to get us  
home...Truth is, I'm really horny. I could probably have seduced Ami  
in my girl form, I just think she swings that way for some reason, but  
that would make things way too awkward and I'd much rather be a guy  
for the occassion.  
  
I'd continued instructing the senshi in the arcane art and was  
pleasantly suprised that the higher energy levels of Ranma world(has a  
nice ring to it) made learning spell patterns easier for some reason.  
Ami knew, if knot well enough to properly use, all of the ice and  
water based spells that I did. She was getting completely separate  
lessons from Usagi in white magic and myself in the darker aspects.  
Rei and Makoto were far enough along with their studies to help each  
other witht the more difficult heat/electricity spells that were most  
familiar. Minako consistently insisted that her's was the power of  
love and I couldn't really make her understand that most of her magic  
was centered around high energy plasma.  
  
****  
  
"What are those?" I asked Minako and Makoto as we sat in the cave I  
had found. Night had fallen and everyone was relaxing. They were  
playing some kind of card game. I couldn't see well into there little  
corner of the cave because of the shadows cast by the light spheres  
they were using. I didn't want to play, I have the worst poker face  
ever, I was curious and bored.  
  
"Pokemon cards," they answered simultaneously. The duo took turns  
describing the layout of the game. I nodded and said yes and no  
whenver appropriate, but my attention wasn't really with them. I was  
busy discreetly watching Rei give herself a sponge bath. I wanted to  
cry. It's all so unfair. When they finished, I made my escape into  
the cool night.  
  
I climbed to the top of the rockoutcropping that housed the cave and  
slipped the ring off, feeling the instant change from male to female.  
If I hadn't accepted this thing, I would not have had a way to truly  
hide from devil hunters, then again, I would be somewhere now having  
fun doing 'something' or someone.  
  
If I hadn't been so wrapped up in my own problems, I would have heard  
or sensed Ami's approach. When her head popped up over the rim of  
slightly flattened ledge made by the jutting rock, I froze, unable to  
move or think. Well, the secret was out, I guess.  
  
She continued to climb, unaware of my appearance. It wasn't until she  
was almost all the way up when she began," Ranma, I-" and a cloud  
moved just enough to bathe me in moonlight. She, too, froze. I  
thought she would fall, but she powered up a flight spell and floated  
over the rim and to her feet. Hmm, why wasn't she screaming and  
trying to blast me?"R-Ranma, what are y-you doing? Is that an  
illusion?" She didn't come any closer and I could sense the building  
of defensive barriers around her.  
  
"No Ami, this isn't an illusion. This is my true form." I quickly  
slipped the ring on and changed back into a girl."This is just an  
altered state." At least I had managed to speak.  
  
"But, but Luna said that you were evil all those months ago...and then  
you showed up as a girl..." Things must have started to add up in her  
head.  
  
"Luna was wrong about me being evil," I informed her heatedly. Damned  
furball."I just have a demonic presensce."  
  
"That's why you hate Setsuna so much, isn't it? She tricked you into  
teaching us and you had to honor the agreement, but you couldn't do it  
in your true form, so she gave you the ring. You didn't know it would  
make you a girl, then?" Wow, she inferred most of it out of that one  
little piece of info. Good girl.  
  
"That's mostly right. The agreement was to teach the senshi so that I  
could have the ring. It was supposed to mask my presensce so that  
devil hunters would leave me alone. They've bothered me for years,  
you see. Sailor Pluto didn't feel like telling me that it would have  
to change my gender to be effective." That reminded me that with me  
out of the same general area as Setsuna, the power to all the curses I  
had stuck her with would be gone. They had probably all faded away by  
now. Shit.  
  
Ami didn't speak right away. I remained silent as she walked up to me  
and sat down."I won't tell the others. I think you would be suprised  
if you did. Luna has been wrong before. The others are open minded  
and genuinely think of you as a friend, they'd accept you without much  
trouble, I'm sure." She sounded like she believed what she was saying.  
I didn't.  
  
I chuckled and said,"You forget that I'm really a guy and that I've  
seen you all naked A LOT and listened to you talk about nipples and  
stuff. I'm not sure if it wasn't a punishment more than a pleasure.  
I don't think most girls would see it that way, though." I did have to  
sleep, afterall, and all kinds of bad things can happen to a person's  
resting mind and body.  
  
"It's up to you. Your secret is safe with me," assured Ami."And I  
don't know about you," she said shyly, in a whisper,"but I liked it  
when you saw me nude."  
  
Alarm bells and all kinds of flashing lights were going off in my  
head. I wasn't entirely sure whether Ami was squeezing my crotch  
either. This wasn't supposed to happen, not with Ami. I could see  
Minako, the future slut, making a move like this, but not AMI! I was  
suprised, not stunned into inaction. I switched back to my true form  
and saw that Ami didn't take exception to it. Yay!  
  
****  
  
Insert Lemon scene here. I can't write them seriously whenever I try,  
so make use of your imagination until I can get someone to do one for  
me.  
  
****  
  
It's amazing the amount of tension one can relieve through sex. When  
you've gone months without it while being in a highly sexual(from a  
guy's perspective) situation, you feel like a totally different  
person. I didn't even let myself notice all the knowing looks I was  
getting from the senshi, even Usagi. Ami was a real screamer.  
  
Isn't today a great day? All sunny and breezy, not a hint of a cloud  
in the sky, a giant spaceship slowly descending to the ground. I  
rubbed my eyes and shook my head. Yep, still there.  
  
"Look alive, girls!" I shouted back towards the cave. The senshi  
scrambled into the clearing in full battle regalia. I didn't need to  
point out the ship.  
  
"Do you think this is their planet?" Usagi asked."They can't have my  
city!" She looked ready to blast the ship.  
  
"It doesn't matter if it is," I heard Ami reply."If they're friendly,  
anyone with the ability to build a ship that size could get Ranma the  
supllies he needs to find home." I turned and winked at the Senshi of  
Mercury, causing her to blush rosily.  
  
The ship was too close for comfort by now and a deep humming whine  
filled the air. The thing was going to set down right in front of us.  
The closer it got the easier it got to appreciate the true magnitude  
of the ship. It was shaped like a giant saucer with a sharply curving  
protrusion flowing downward, from which were attached to uprising  
tubes that glowed with energy.  
  
"Look," Rei pointed."There are words on it! In English!" She was  
right. It read U.S.S. Enterprise.  
  
****  
  
Author's Notes: It's shorter than normal, I know, but if I ever get a  
good lemon scene for Ranma and Ami, it'll fill out pretty good. No,  
this isn't going to be a Star Trek crossover, just a kind of guest  
appearance. I'm thinking of having a 'Crossover Crisis' like romp  
through various anime universes. I still haven't decided. C&C  
welcome at dark_phoneix@hotmail.com  
  



	8. Chapter 7

  
Can It Get Any Worse?: Chapter 7  
  
The spaceship never actually touched down, hovering twenty feet above  
the tree line. As soon as the vessel was stationary, five short  
columns of sparkling blue and white light formed a haf dozen meters in  
front of us. The columns of energy each deposited a human being.  
Teleportation through technology, amazing. I was still working on my  
own teleportation spell using what I had seen of Setsuna's as a guide.  
It had a few bugs to work out.  
  
What do you say to humans with a lot more technology than those from  
your own planet? The three men and two women from the ship didn't  
appear threatening and weren't armed with any kind of weapon that I  
knew up. Those things at their waists did hold a lot of energy,  
though. Here goes nothing."Hey, nice to meet ya," I said.  
  
The man in the red jumpsuit stepped forward and cleared his  
throat."I'm Commander Riker of the Enterprise. This star system is in  
inmenent danger from a nearby black hole. Do you need assistance?"  
  
Blackhole. That would not have been fun."We didn't come here by ship,  
Commander Riker," I replied. Now to see if they believe in magic  
here."My friends and I were transported from our home dimension by  
mistake when a containment spell I was performing went arry.  
  
To my suprise the Commander just nodded and tapped a small device  
attached to his suit."Eleven to beam up, Ensign." Not bad, but the  
senshi's are better."You do wish to return to the ship with us,  
correct?"  
  
Stupid question."Yeah." The girls behind me squeaked in fright when  
the teleporter grabbed them. I thought it felt pretty good, sorta  
like the bubbles in a hot tub. When the blue and white lights  
dissipated, the senshi, the Commander, and I were standing on a raised  
platform in a stereotypical futuristic space ship. All cool earthy  
colors and smooth, flowing lines.  
  
"Welcome to the Starship Enterprise, ladies. You are currently being  
held within a containment field. As soon as you've been checked out  
in the sick bay and given clearance, Captain Picard will see you." I  
nodded and smirked at the senshi. They were a little overloaded at  
the moment. Too much input all at once.  
  
A man in a yellow suit did something to the console in front of him  
and the teleporter dumped us in the sick bay. I could still feel the  
energy field around us and could have easily nullified it, but that  
would probably leave a bad impreesion with our hosts.  
  
An attractive middle aged woman in a blue lab coat approached the  
field."Hello, I'm Dr. Crusher. If you all would just lay down on  
those examination tables, we'll be finished in a few minutes." I  
complied and the senshi followed my example. Whatever the doctor did,  
it didn't even take the predicted few minutes.  
  
"All right," the doctor said, typing in a command on a touch sensitive  
flat panel. With the command the energy field surrounding us  
disappeared."You're all in perfect physical health. The Captain  
wishes to meet with you in his ready room and since I don't have  
anything better to do, I'll show you the way."  
  
"Is this ship from Earth?" I asked after following the woman through a  
couple of corridors. I'd already seen a blue guy and a green woman.  
They weren't demonic in origin, so I guessed they were aliens.  
  
"Yes," answered Dr. Crusher."Well it was built in one of the ship  
yards orbiting Earth. May I ask why you wish to know?"  
  
"It's just unusual. The Earth we come from is way too primitive to  
possibly build something like this." Useful exchange of information.  
  
"I was under the impression that you and your friends were involved in  
a reactor containment failure that somehow transported you to Berov  
IV." The doctor gave us all a confused glance.  
  
"Heh heh. The Commander must have misunderstood." I don't really know  
what a reactor containment failure even is."I was working a  
containment spell, as in magic, to release the spirit of an ancient  
warlock without blowing up the countryside that held his tomb.  
Something went wrong and poof, here we are."  
  
I got another confused and slightly skeptical glance. Squeezed into a  
tiny elevator, Ami finally spoke up."What does the ship use for  
propulsion? I didn't notice any exterior thrust apparatus."  
  
The doctor laughed and said,"Engineering isn't exactly my area of  
expertise. As I understand it, though, the Enterprise uses a  
matter/anti-matter reactor to provide propulsion through particle  
drive or warp space manipulation."  
  
For someone who doesn't know what she's talking about, Dr. Crusher  
sounded considerably knowledgable on the subject. Ami's eyes were  
shining with interest. Oh boy.  
  
The elevator stopped and we stepped into what I assume was the bridge.  
There sure were a lot of controls and people and a really big tv  
screen."This way."  
  
****  
  
The Captain was an older man who was as bald as a cue ball. I  
repeated my story, this time in more detail, while the senshi gawked  
at a particularly ugly alien named Warf and a guy named Data who I'm  
absolutely sure wasn't alive.  
  
"And your certain that you didn't somehow travel into the future with  
your...magic?" asked the Captain cautiously.  
  
"Positive. For one thing, our future has her," I pointed to Usagi who  
smiled and waved to the Captain,"as Queen of Earth. I'm told that  
she'll grow into the role and I can tell that that hasn't happened or  
someone here would have recognized her. Mostly though, I just know  
that this isn't my universe of origin. The energy is off a little.  
Ami says that its a quantum variance or something like that."  
  
"If I may," the woman named Diana interrupted,"Ranma is being truthful  
in this matter, or she has been so heavily programmed that she  
completely believes what she's saying." Sure hope she isn't psychic.  
All kinds of bad stuff could see the light of day.  
  
"Yep, that's me, Ms. Honesty. Really, though. I appreciate you and  
your ship saving us from the black hole, and don't want to be  
ungrateful, but the sooner we get home the better. All I need is a  
mirror, some candles, and a few crystals, quartz if you have them."  
  
"How would those items...Oh yes, magic. I'm sure they can be found.  
In the meantime, could you demonstrate to us your magic. We've  
encountered a number of powerful entities over the years who possessed  
powers that could have been ermed as magic."  
  
****  
  
Talk about hard to please, I had to eventually start blowing stuff up  
and flying around on the holodeck to convince the Captain that I  
wasn't just some kind of hoax. That holodeck place really kicked ass.  
I had Ami download the plans for one from the ship's computer once we  
were assigned quarters, not that I expected her to be able to build  
one with the junk back on our Earth. This is one hell of a space  
ship. It's big and luxourious and I wouldn't mind staying on a few  
years, but duty calls. Sigh.  
  
Of all the advanced technology on this ship, I have to say that the  
food replicator is the best. Anything you want to eat with no more  
hassle than it takes to say a couple of words. Usagi did short her  
out for a couple hours with the ice cream addiction, but the guy with  
the freaky sunglasses fixed it up.  
  
Speaking of Usagi, the girl was getting treated way better than she  
deserved. I shouldn't have mentioned that she was royalty.  
  
We were invited by the Captain to see the destruction of the star  
system we had just left. The observation deck was full of ship staff  
and off duty workers who turned out for the spectacle. I didn't  
really care much for seeing what could have easily been my fate. I  
went along because the experience could be valuable. Ami had  
mentioned that black holes severely distorted time, and anything I  
could get together to fight off Setsuna, if the need arose, was worth  
looking into.  
  
Ami squeezed her way through the crowd and managed to lean against me.  
She's a nice girl, and I like her as a friend, but I don't really want  
to get into a serious relationship with her. Casual sex and  
friendship is good, commitmitment is bad. I just hope she feels the  
same. For now, though, I didn't mind the few odd looks from the other  
senshi or the crew of the Enterprise. I was mostly accustommed to  
being female and I wasn't really a lesbian, so...Why not enjoy it?  
  
She hugged me."Thank you so much for bringing us here, Ranma." For the  
last few days, when we hadn't been making woopy in my quarters, the  
girl had been sponging up knowledge from the computer at such a rate  
that Data, the Android(real fancy robot) that I thought was a dead guy  
at first, commented that among humans, he had never seen as fast a  
learner."When we get home I am going to be able to change the world."  
  
Our little side trip to this alternate dimension could be the cause  
for the rise of Crystal Tokyo. With everything Ami has learned, she's  
assured me that she can end world hunger, stop pollution, fix the  
weather, and recolonize the solar system. The little minx is plenty  
grateful to me."No problem, not that I did it on purpose or anything."  
  
She shrugged against me."It's the results that matter, not how they're  
arrived at." I hope Setsuna sees it that way or I may be making a  
return trip to the Enterprise.  
  
****  
  
"You're pretty tough," I admitted to Data. We were sparring in one of  
the holoecks. I was kicking his robotic ass. I hadn't had a purely  
physical fight like this in years, though, so I was enjoying myself  
immensely.  
  
"Thank you." He leapt for me, using sheer mass to knock me off my  
feet. Whatever this guy is made of, it's a lot heavier than anything  
I've ever dealt with.  
  
Once I had solid ground under me, I flexed my muscles and threw the  
android into the wall. I'll say one good thing for Happosai, he  
trained me well. I almost wish he hadn't tried to take over my  
younger body. Oh well, the past is the past.  
  
"If I may ask," Data began, picking himself up and dusting his uniform  
off,"how is it that a human of your size is capable of withstanding  
the stress of direct combat with me? The only other lifeform of  
similar size to you that I have encountered were the Borg and they  
were highly augmented with cybernetics."  
  
"It's all in the training," I answered."There's a certain peak that a  
person reaches where their body simply can not improve upon itself any  
longer, with the proper training, a that person can use their internal  
energies to strengthen their body. I've done it for so many years  
that I don't even have to use my chi to get it to work."  
  
Data nodded."Chi being the spirit force of a living individual."  
  
Data had duty in a few minutes and I had volunteered for some tests  
that the doctor wanted to run on my brain. They still didn't really  
believe that magic was real, as if the senshi's transforming without  
any visible energy source wasn't proof enough.  
  
****  
  
Within a week of searching, I had narrowed our home dimension down to  
three possibilities. These last three were so similar to each other  
in the most significant ways that I was having problems getting past  
this last hurdle.  
  
The door to my quarters slid open without prompting and Ami threw  
herself off of me, forming a caccoon within the blacket and hiding  
inside. Captain Picard stepped into the room and sat in a chair near  
the door.  
  
I tried not to glare too hard at the man. He'd done a lot to help the  
senshi and me, the least of which was solving a our lives. I'd been  
'this' close, though.  
  
"I've just recieved orders from Starfleet Command. The Enterprise is  
to head to the nearest starbase immediately, with our newest guests  
under close guard, where you will be turned over to Starfleet  
Intelligence for debriefing. I won't assume to say that the  
experience would be pleasant. For now, I will be following these  
orders to the letter. I suggest you and your friends jump to another  
dimension as soon as possible. The replicators can provide you with  
whatever you need." And he stood just as quickly as he had sat and  
left the room.  
  
Well, damn."You'd better download as much info as you can, Ami, while  
I gather up the others." She had already summoned her computer and was  
interfacing with the ship's systems.  
  
I dressed quickly and went to wake my students. None of them were  
happy, but they forgot their desire to pound me when I passed the news  
on.  
  
Usagi stared longingly at the replicator, tears gathering in her eyes.  
I didn't even want to know how much ice cream she had forced the poor  
machine to make her.  
  
"I thought you still weren't sure where home was," Rei said.  
  
"I'm not. There's only three choices. Thirty three percent chance of  
getting it on the first try. If it's not the right one, the odds keep  
going up until we hit the jackpot." Heh.  
  
Ami was dressed and had backpacks for each of us. The Captain 'had'  
said we could use the replicators."Everyone grab one," she ordered.  
  
****  
  
I had been performing the location spell in an empty cargo bay. My  
quarters would do this time. The circular mirror surrounded by  
replicated(those machines are damned convenient) crystals stopped  
reflecting light as soon as my energy, augmented by my Crystal, began  
to pour through it. Each of the senshi held a colored candle  
represenative of her color. They lit them with a spark of magic, as  
directed by me, and the light generated by the flames was redirected  
staight into the crystals. A five point star formed above the mirror,  
it's corner the now glowing crystals.  
  
I didn't really need the senshi to do what I had them doing. They  
felt useful and it eased the strain on me slightly. Win/win  
situation.  
  
"Jump into the mirror," I told them. One by one, starting with Rei  
and ending with me, we jumped through the mirror and appeared in a  
lightly wooded area on the edge of a larger forest.  
  
Damn, this wasn't the one. Ami and Rei looked at me. They, too,  
knew. I told the others and endured their disappointment.  
  
"All we have to do is find another mirror and some more crystals and  
I'll try again. Chances are fifty fifty that it'll work next time."  
  
****  
  
There was definitely people on this planet, enough of them that I  
could eacily detect several of the larger populations. We were in the  
boonies and flying to save time. Minako suddenly dropped from my  
periphrial vision. I stopped sharply and glided down towards where  
she would have gone down if her spell had lost power. I found the  
girl sitting on the ground with an unusual looking little dog  
creature. It was barking happily and licking the girl's face like  
candy.  
  
"Damn," Makoto hissed. First time I'd ever heard her use that  
particular word."It's a pokemon, a real live pokemon! Hey Minako,  
it's a Growlithe." She set down beside the blonde and between them  
they lavished an almost indecent amount of attention on the...pokemon.  
  
"Oh my gosh!" Usagi exclaimed."Shingo has a stuffed pokemon just like  
that one!" And she joined the first two. That thing was seriously  
eating up the attention.  
  
When I thought about it, I knew that it was theoretically possible for  
something like an anime to truly exist in another universe, but what  
were the odds of stumbling across such an occurrence? I asked Ami and  
she just shrugged.  
  
"Are they dangerous?" I asked. I'd seen the commercials for the show  
a couple of times and some of those little creatures had real power.  
Neither Rei nor Ami, the only senshi not trying to mother the  
Growlithe to death, knew any more than I did about pokemon.  
  
"I wish I had a pokeball," Makoto said. I think it's some kind of dog  
treat.  
  
"You don't need one," Minako told her."This one has imprinted on you  
like normal puppies. He must have just hatched." That thing didn't  
look much like a bird, but who was I to say where little pokemon came  
from.  
  
"I wish I had one." That innocent statement by Usagi totally halted  
any further progress for the day. Usagi and the other senshi, I just  
enjoyed myself watching Makoto try to teach hers to talk, searched the  
forest for more pokemon. The future Queen was attacked by giant  
birds, giant insects, and a walking tree. Despite these difficulties,  
she returned with a stupid looking lamb thing. Ami came back next.  
She had a giant butterfly resting on her right shoulder and a big egg  
covered with held under her left arm. She gave me the egg.  
  
"Thanks," I told her with real gratitude. I have absolutely no idea  
what to do with a pokemon. I don't get gifts often enough to accept  
them casually."What do you think it'll be?"  
  
"Minako says that there's no way to tell just by looking at the egg.  
I tried to scan it, it's so thick, though, that I couldn't get a  
reading." She was leaning against me with her butterfly sleeping in  
her lap when Minako finally came back. The girl led behind her a  
small parade of pokemon. Two different birds, one like Makoto's, one  
of Usagi's lambs and two giant caterpillars.  
  
"Yes, yes, I know I'm good," she said and settled down on a cushion of  
air of her own creation, with her cadre gathered around her. I don't  
mind taking along a pet when we jumped again, there was no way we were  
going to have this zoo with us.  
  
I was the only person awake at the makeshift campsite, pokemon  
included, when Rei stomped into the clearing. She didn't have a  
pokemon and didn't look too happy about it. The light given off by  
the last embers of our dying fire was enough for her to see the horde  
of pokemon collected by her friends. Then she saw me grinning at her.  
The girl turned around and stomped back into forest.  
  
She didn't return again until midmorning and the squirming rat she  
held to tightly couldn't possibly have been a pokemon. Turns out that  
it actually is a pokemon. Is every animal on this planet a pokemon?  
That must really suck for people when wild animals with the power that  
Makoto said some of them had went on the rampage.  
  
****  
  
Author's Notes: A few chapters in PokemonLand might be fun. What  
should the next world be? I can't decide. I really need that lemon  
scene from last chapter. If you send me one and I use it you will get  
full credit. C&C welcome at dark_phoneix@hotmail.com  



	9. Chapter 8

  
Can It Get Any Worse?: Chapter 8  
  
For reasons best left unsaid, the girls decided that wanted to stay on  
Pokemon world for a while. Ah, nevermind. They wanted to make their  
pokemon stronger and Ami was determined to discover how such creatures  
could be so alike in reproductive and evolutionary manner, but so  
totally different in physical appearance and varying intelligence.  
What did this transalte into? A very long stay in a little city named  
Hickory, that's what.  
  
Minako and Makoto, in order to fuel their desire to learn as much  
about the creatures as possible, took jobs at the local pokemon  
center. They don't even have a freakin hospital for people, yet every  
damned town has a pokemon center to heal pokemon who've been injured  
in battles. Usagi has gone off on a pokemon journey-yes, a pokemon  
journey with her electric lamb to become champion of the Pokemon  
League. Rei and her rat, that flea bag evolved into the most hideous  
wolf rat/beaver thing I've ever seen.  
  
And me, what do I do all day? I kick the ass of every pokemon I can.  
I'm getting famous for it actually. The Pokemon League(the entire  
economy of this planet is based around pokemon) has even started  
building a pokemon gym in Hickory for other humans to come to fight  
against pokemon. And my egg? Three weeks and not so much as a crack.  
I would have thrown it out as a dud weeks ago if Nurse Joy(they even  
clone the same nurse to serve at every pokemon center) hadn't checked  
it out and ok'ed it.  
  
I walked into the bedroom that Ami and I shared in the town's boarding  
house. She was just wrapping up a conversation with Usagi on their  
wrist radios. She saw me come in and said,"Usagi is in the running  
for Pokemon League Champion. She's sending us tickets."  
  
"Isn't that a little fast? She's only been gone two weeks." Damnit,  
if Makoto had never seen that stupid puppy, we would be home now. I  
should look at the bigger picture, like how we're safe from demon  
attacks and crazed temporal mages here, but all these pokemon are  
annoying.  
  
"I don't think she sleeps very much. That and a little magic,  
probably, is how she managed to build up her pokemons' power so  
quickly. The preliminaries aren't for another month and I have an  
invitation from Professor Oak to visit his laboratory. Do you want to  
go with me? We can take our time and you can make a few appearances  
at the other gyms along the way."  
  
Weeks alone with Ami? Sure, no problem."Yeah. When do we leave?"  
Maybe I would get to see what was in that egg.  
  
"Tomorrow, if that's ok with you?"  
  
****  
  
"What's this?" I asked Ami as she handed me a black and silver  
backpack.  
  
"Professor Oak sent them. They're called pokegear. We can keep our  
food and pokemon and stuff in them. I bought us some pokeballs encase  
we see something interesting along the way." Ingenious devices,  
pokeballs. They have a huge storage capacity and a pokemon kept  
inside of one needed no food. I plan on taking some back to Earth to  
sale to the military. Imagine, every soldier carrying a tank in his  
pocket. The prison system could definitely benefit.  
  
"Cool."  
  
We weren't bothered by many wild pokemon while walking through the  
tall grass that the Pokemon League kept growing everywhere. I have a  
feeling that they were scared of me. I let Ami and her Butterfree  
named Sparkles handle those brave enough to attack us. She really got  
a kick out of the experience and I could literally feel, if barely, an  
increase in the pokemon's power after every battle.  
  
The first night we camped out at the base of a small mountain in the  
middle of the forest. Ami had caught a little ball of rock with arms  
that she insisted I accept since my egg was such a late bloomer.  
  
"It's small now," she assured me,"but they get big and strong. Here,"  
she said, flipping through her pokedex until she found the desired  
picture."See, Geodude evolves into Graveller and Graveller evolves  
into Golem."  
  
It did look a little more impressive, if still not able to strike fear  
in the hearts of men. I read through the listed attacks of the  
creature and decided I might as well go with the flow. Ami healed it  
from the beating Sparkles had given it and I stored it in a pokeball.  
  
Ami made Sparkles go for an evening flight to stretch it's wings while  
we made like wild pokemons.  
  
****  
  
"I admit that me and Slammer(I let Ami name my Geodude) get along  
well, but there is no way I'm going to take that gimp fish." How such  
a lame pokemon could survive when surrounded by so many that were so  
much more powerful than it, I'll never know.  
  
Ami sighed. Slammer had caught this one. She just seemed determined  
that I should keep it. She pulled out the pokedex and scanned through  
it for a couple minutes."This is what that gimp fish will evolve into  
after two more level gains."  
  
The snake like dragon pokemon couldn't be the product of a Magicarp.  
I flipped to the Gyarados' preevolutionary form. It was a Magicarp.  
How could it gain so much mass in the short time that pokemon  
evolution takes?  
  
"See the techniques," Ami pointed out."It learns some of the strongest  
and it can be taught almost any technique from other pokemon." For  
some reason Ami was determined that I had my own squad of powerful  
attack pokemon. I couldn't use them in a fight, not a serious one,  
and I wasn't obsessed with them like Minako and Makoto.  
  
"Okay, you convinced me." I'm seeing a disturbing pattern arising.  
  
"Good. It's getting late. Do you want to camp out again or head on  
into town?" I don't know if getting laid did it or if she was just  
growing up, but Ami's confidence was steadily building, both in  
dealing with me and the world in general.  
  
"Camping's fine. We can stop by the gym in the morning and I can show  
how much better humans are than pokemon." That was my mission.  
Pokemon held too much value and humans too little on this world.  
  
****  
  
Back on Earth, Genma was introducing his 'son' to the Tendo family.  
Ryoga was taking the best way out of the situation that he could see.  
He was unconscious.  
  
"He's just tired," Genma said. Underneath the table he was repeatedly  
pinching the imposter. He just wouldn't wake up.  
  
"Oh, how you must have struggled to reach us at last," wailed Soun.  
His old friend and the future heir of the combined Saotome-Tendo  
schools of martial arts had been late. He had endured constant anger  
and mistreatment from his daughters because of his attempts to marry  
one of them off.  
  
While the two old men exchanged small talk, Nabiki caught her sisters'  
attention and led them into the kitchen."That boy with Dad's friend is  
not Ranma Saotome," she whispered to them.  
  
"How do you know, Nabiki?" Akane was the most offended by her father's  
stupid decision. For weeks she had been stewing on the problem and  
had decided to either disown her family or murder Ranma, if she was  
chosen to marry him.  
  
"I didn't want to any of us to be engaged to a psychopath, so I had  
him checked out by a friend of mine at the Nerima Police Department.  
Ranma Saotome, son of Genma and Nodoka Satome, looks nothing like that  
weeny out there. The man we're supposed to be engaged to is some kind  
of government special agent with the Bureau of Intelligence."  
  
"Then you mean that father's friend is trying to trick him?" Kasumi  
wondered aloud.  
  
"That could be." Nabiki nodded."Or Dad could be going along with this  
whole scheme. If Ranma is important enough to be a government agent,  
he wouldn't have any problem convincing his father not to do something  
stupid like force him to marry a girl against his will."  
  
"Those sneaky, baka bastards!" Akane shouted. There was no stopping  
the girl now. She charged into the parlor and grabbed Ryoga by the  
scruff of his neck and started shaking him roughly. Slowly, the boy  
regained consciousness."I know you're not Ranma!"  
  
Ryoga's eyes filled with panic and began darting from side to side  
nervously."I don't know what your talk-" Genma didn't finish the  
statement. Akane tossed Ryoga into him, headfirst.  
  
"Akane's right, Dad, the real Ranma Saotome doesn't even look like  
this guy. See." She held up a picture taken from Ranma's  
dossier."That's the real Ranma."  
  
"Saotome," Soun wailed,"are they telling the truth?!"  
  
Genma had been edging towards the door, but a slight miscalculation  
had brought him up against the wall instead. He looked for any kind  
of help, but Ryoga had passed out again and no one was looking very  
sympathetic or pacifistic at the moment.  
  
****  
  
'And a newcomer to the world of pokemon competition, Usagi Tsuniko!'  
the announcer shouted after introducing the girl's opponent.  
  
Usagi waved to the screaming crowd, soaking up the attention. Her  
opponent across from the battle ring stood on his platform looking  
impatient and annoyed. He hadn't gotten so much as a clap from the  
million people watching from within the enormous stadium.  
  
'This battle will consist of three pokemon per trainer! Trainers  
ready?' Usagi and her opponent nodded.'Then let the battle begin!!!'  
  
The entire stadium went dead quiet. In the silence that followed,  
Usagi shouted,"I choose you, Dandelion!" From the pokeball held in her  
hand, a massive Venusaur materialized.  
  
Pedro, almost simultaneously announced,"George, I choose you!" A  
roaring Onix appeared.  
  
In the front row, directly behind Usagi, Ami whispered,"Usagi's  
Dandelion has a major type advantage over Pedro's George. This match  
should be a snap."  
  
I nodded agreement. Reluctantly, I had picked up a considerable  
amount of info on pokemon from Ami, her pokedex, and our temporary  
companion, Professor Oak. I looked down towards the battle that was  
about to begin. I felt sorry for Dandelion. What kind of stupid name  
was Dandelion for a giant plant monster?  
  
"Dandelion, use your razor leaf attack!" commanded Usagi. From  
Dandelion's leafy back, sprayed hundreds of stiff, razor sharp leafs.  
George, that's another crappy name for such a huge pokemon, was too  
slow to avoid the attack and had pebble sized chunks taken out of  
almost every area of his rock body.  
  
George wasn't totally defeated. Pedro ordered,"George, dig under  
Dandelion!" The giant rock snake dove into the air, only to come down  
like a bullet, burrowing his way underground. Dandelion began too  
look for a place to avoid the incoming attack, but as the ground  
started to shake beneath Usagi's pokemon it lost its footing and was  
hit full force by George's explosive resurfacing.  
  
Dandelion didn't look nearly as hurt as George, though, and when next  
commanded to attack, its razor leafs sent the Onix into a dead faint.  
  
The battles were pretty interesting, especially between the strong  
pokemon that just stood back and shot energy attacks at one another.  
Usagi won all of her battles for the day, working her way into the  
semifinals.  
  
****  
  
"Aren't my pokemon just the best?" Usagi cheered. Her pokemon really  
were some of the better ones on the field, at least as far as I had  
seen.  
  
Along with Professor Oak and some family friends of his, including a  
boy who was competing against Usagi, we all headed to the Indigo  
Diner. Usagi wanted to go there because the food was served by  
pokemon. I just wanted something to eat. I think Ami was of my  
thinking on this one. The service and food was better than I had  
hoped.  
  
The boy with the Professor, Ash I think, had his Pikachu out and was  
feeding it from the table.  
  
"How's Pikachu doing, Ash?" asked Professor Oak.  
  
"He's really excited about tomorrow. We're going to win for sure!"  
  
Usagi butted in,"Not if I have anything to say about it!"  
  
I convinced Ami to sneak away with me before Usagi started up the  
fireworks. We discreetly said our farewells to the Professor and  
Ash's mother before heading to the pokemon center/motel we were  
rooming in.  
  
We were discussing something about the benefits of missionary versus  
doggie style when the watch uplink to my pokegear started beeping. I  
checked the indicator light. About time that stupid egg decided to  
hatch!  
  
"Let's fly, Ranma!" Ami said."No one will see us as dark as it is."  
  
I was more excited than I should have been, myself. Flying cut the  
trip down to less than a minute. I opened the door just in time to  
see the first large cracks appearing in the egg. I sat down next to  
it to watch, Ami holding my hand excitedly. For several minutes the  
egg didn't do much more than rock around and crack. It should have  
been a pile of dust with the number of fractures it was sporting, but  
it somehow maintained its shape.  
  
When it did open, the shell fell away into dust like I had been  
expecting. The pokemon 'expanded' once out of its egg, because it was  
three times the size of the egg itself."What is it?" I asked Ami as I  
picked up little bat-winged monstrosity. It was about as high as my  
knees and covered in short, course black fur. From both of it hands  
and feet extended inch long claws that had the irridescent property of  
mother of pearl. It looked like a little baby demon.  
  
Ami's pokedex came up with a big fat blank space. Looks like I have  
myself a new kind of pokemon."What are you going to name it?" Gender  
was another unknown.  
  
I looked down at the little demonlike creature who was already asleep  
in my arms."Demon, I think. It has the look." I turned it so Ami  
could get a better look at it, carefully so as not to wake it. I hope  
this thing grows up fast. I don't like children much more than I like  
getting struck by lightning.  
  
"Professor Oak's computers can probably determine what type it'll be  
and what would be best to feed it," Ami told me as I laid Demon on a  
sofa cushion. There's a thought. What if demons are the pokemon of  
my world?  
  
****  
  
Demon didn't stay in the cute phase for long. By the end of the next  
day he was as tall as my male form and had a fifteen foot wingspan.  
Those little claws were six inch long knives now. The Professor's  
computer did indeed determine Demon's type. He was a Dark/Fire type  
pokemon and it calculated that pokemon high in fiber would be the best  
meal it could eat for the next few weeks. I didn't want to have the  
local population of domestic pokemon wiped out, so Ami and I took it  
out to a nearby forest with some of those tree pokemon and turned it  
loose.  
  
Truthfully, when it came back, Demon had grown over a foot. Heh, this  
joker was gonna be big.  
  
****  
  
Today was the last day of the League Championship. I zapped Demon  
into a pokeball and went to see Usagi compete. Ash and his mom had  
left earlier in the morning. He hadn't taken his lose to Usagi all  
that well.  
  
'We're down to the final four trainers, ladies and gentlemen.' Like I  
needed the announcer to tell me that when the giant tv screen had the  
trainers' names and pictures on it. I ignored the next few minutes of  
cheering and drivel from the announcer. Ami tugged on my arm to get  
my attention and pointed to the arena.  
  
Usagi was wearing a long, flowing dress of the same silver substance  
created by her white magic back on Ranma World when she had claimed  
Usagi City. Her opponent was a grizzled old man who leaned heavily on  
a gnarled wooded cane.  
  
'Trainers, choose your strongest pokemon, for this will be a one match  
battle!'  
  
Usagi and the old guy messed around with their belts, choosing the one  
pokemon they wished to use.  
  
'Let the battle begin!!!'  
  
"I choose you, Dragonite!" shouted old guy. Dragonites look kinda  
like Puff the magic dragon to me, so it's hard to take them seriously,  
but they're supposed to pack some real power.  
  
"Go Zapdos!" The bird that flew from Usagi's pokeball looked like it  
was composed of chained lightning.  
  
Ami was shocked."Usagi actually caught one of the legendary birds."  
She shook her head in suprise. These legendary birds must have been  
famous or something, even though I'd never heard of them, because the  
crowd went wild after a few moments of silence.  
  
Usagi's electric bird didn't give the Dragonite much of a chance. As  
soon as the battle began, it unleashed a massive bolt of lightning at  
its opponent. It was an attack I would have been proud of. Poor  
Dragonite was still twitching as the team of fat little pokemon with  
egg pouches carried it away on a stretcher.  
  
"I'd better go feed Demon," I told Ami."I should have plenty of time  
during intermission." I know that when in a pokeball a pokemon doesn't  
get hungry, but Demon was still young and I didn't want to stunt its  
growth.  
  
****  
  
Twelve feet tall, thirty foot wingspan, and foot long claws. Demon is  
going to live up to his name. I got back to my seat just in time to  
see an Onix get blasted by a geyser of water. Even I know not to put  
a rock pokemon up against a water one. It was down to Usagi and a boy  
named Jiro.  
  
Once again I tuned out the announcer until the fight actually began.  
  
Usagi sent out Dandelion and Jiro used a Charizard named Torch. Ouch,  
bad news for meatball head.  
  
"Torch, let it have a taste of you fire blast attack!" Jiro commanded.  
From Torch's mouth exploded the kanji symbol for fire, in the form of  
a solid flame. Dandelion used its tentacle things to pull itself  
mostly out of the blast's path, but one side was badly singed and the  
pokemon was crying out in pain.  
  
Usagi cried out to her pokemon,"Dandelion, hang in there, I'll save  
you!" I could feel the workings of a major white casting. Usagi  
raised her arms into the air. Arcs of golden energy leapt from hand  
to hand as Usagi chanted. A deep groaning hum feeled the air as Usagi  
pointed her hands, palms flattened, at Dandelion. A beam of gold and  
silver light shot from her hands and collided with Dandelion. The  
pokemon's wounds faded away in an instant and it was on its feet  
roaring.  
  
"Use your solarbeam!" Usagi called to it.  
  
The giant flower on Dandelion's back opened up and pointed towards  
Torch, who at Jiro's prompting had taken to the air in order to avoid  
the beam. The initial strike did miss, but Dandelion continued to  
power the beam and scythed it through the air. Torch couldn't  
maneuver fast enough and was hit in the back by the laser.  
  
When the Charizard struck the ground it didn't move, the only sign  
that it still lived was the slow rise and fall of its barrel-like  
chest.  
  
'Incredible folks, absolutely incredible! Never before have we seen  
such Trainer to Pokemon interaction, but the question is, will the  
judges disqualify Trainer Tsuniko for use of an unclaimed...pokemon  
healing ability.'  
  
Silence.  
  
'Yes, the judges have ruled in favor of Trainer Tsuniko! She is this  
year's Pokemon League Champion!!!'  
  
****  
  
I still hadn't trained Demon not to eat other people's pokemon, so he  
couldn't come to the party thrown in celebration of Usagi's victory.  
  
The senshi of the day was glowing with pride and surrounded by her  
pokemon whom she continuously petted or praised. Minako and Makoto  
managed to get off of work to be at the celebration and were having  
their ears talked off by Usagi whenever she wasn't administering to  
her menagerie.  
  
Nature called and I was about to answer, when I passed close enough to  
Usagi and her friends to hear some of their conversation.  
  
"Can you believe it? I wonder who the father is." That was Makoto.  
  
"I thought that her and Ranma were together, you know, like Haruka and  
Michiru," commented Usagi.  
  
"Well obviously she isn't just a lesbian," Rei, with her super rat,  
snapped. Something was wrong. Very very wrong."She couldn't be if  
she's pregnant.  
  
Pregnant. Ami. Pregnant. OH SHIT!!!  
  
I don't remember much after that, because thankfully I fainted.  
  
****  
  
Author's Notes: It seemed like it would be fun to see Ami and this  
version of Ranma deal with parenthood. They all leave PokeWorld next  
chapter, too. C&C welcome at dark_phoneix@hotmail.com  



	10. Chapter 9

  
Can It Get Any Worse?: Chapter 9  
  
"Now that Usagi is famous, I think it'd be best if we left. Demon  
will have the whole region depopulated before long, too." I hadn't  
mentioned any of the conversation I'd overheard about Ami's condition.  
What was there to say? I'd gotten Ami pregnant. She knew about it,  
if she'd told her friends, and didn't seem to be acting any different.  
Mature and intelligent as my lover was, she was still a sixteen year  
old girl. In her situation, I would be flipping out. Whatever we  
decided to do with the kid, it wouldn't be on this planet, a place  
where animal eggs were given more attention than babies.  
  
Demon gurgled happily, swinging a lamppost around trying to hit Rei's  
rat. The pokemon's massive frame must top at least twenty feet now.  
The wings, when unfolded, cast shadows over huge areas of ground, not  
unlike a large cloud. He, and I had finally learned Demon was a he,  
had figured out how to retract his two foot long claws. I hope his  
growth slows down some, or he'll eat me out of house and home. My  
other pokemon were virtually forgotten with Demon's birth. I'm  
probably just going to give them away before we leave, or let Ami have  
them.  
  
"But, Ranma, I have a worldwide tour to go on!" Usagi protested.  
Taking care of pokemon and living on her own had helped the girl to  
grow up quite a bit, but not enough.  
  
"If you were to disappear right after winning the championship, then  
reappear next year to compete in the next one, don't you think it  
would make people think you were all mysterious and stuff?" Makoto  
asked. That was a pretty good idea, especially because by next year  
the girls would be strong enough to bring Usagi to PokeWorld without  
my help. I certainly have no intention of returning.  
  
"Well, that does sound neat...but the Pokemon League is going to make  
a doll to look like me. Can we at least stay until they get it right?  
Please?" A few more days wouldn't hurt, unless Demon decided to raid  
the pokemon center. A little time to think about how to talk to Ami  
about the pregnancy would be good too.  
  
"Only a few more days," I answered. There was a loud crash, followed  
by a metallic screeching behind me. I whirled around, expecting to  
come under attack, I'd been getting complacent, only to see Demon  
using his lamp post to smash a large hole in the street."Bad Demon,  
bad!" I shouted. I floated over to him, rising slowly until I could  
look him straight in his basketball sized black eyes. I glared at him  
and asked,"What have I told you about smashing stuff? Bad Demon." I  
pointed at the pokemon and said,"No supper for you tonight." Do not  
say a word. Demon's lower lip began to tremble, for all of it's meter  
long length, and great big fist sized tears gathered in his eyes. He  
snuffled and let out a high keening sound, revealing his foot long  
fangs. I couldn't stand to see the big guy cry like that so I said  
gently,"All right Demon, you can have supper tonight, but this is your  
last warning. No more smashing other people's stuff!" Demon's tears  
disappeared like they'd never even existed and his big black lips  
split into a razor sharp grin of contentment.  
  
As I descended to the ground and walked towards the senshi, Demon  
spread his wings and took flight, nearly blowing me over with the gail  
force wind kicked up by the takeoff. The senshi were all grinning at  
me when I returned. Crap.  
  
"Mama Ranma, you're so mean," teased Minako, who broke into giggles as  
I momentarily choked on my tongue.  
  
"You shouldn't have gone so easy on him, Ranma," Rei chided,  
absentmindedly scratching her giant rat behind the ear.  
  
I waved it off and said,"He's already bigger than almost every other  
kind of pokemon on this whole world and not showing any sign that his  
growth will slow down or stop. I don't want to have a hundred foot  
pokemon decide that it doesn't love me anymore and try to make a meal  
out of me." I could take him down if Demon ever turned on me, but I  
doubt he'll ever do anything like that."And he was crying," I added.  
The thing may look as evil as any true demon, but Demon had the heart  
of a puppy.  
  
I caught sight of Ami giving me a considering look, very much unlike  
the mock looks of suprise and shock from the other senshi. Yes, us  
two were definitely going to have a talk. Soon. As soon as I could  
figure out what to say, anyway.  
  
****  
  
"Ranma is an evil sorceror?" Nabiki asked in confirmation to Ryoga's  
earlier comment. Genma had escaped from Akane as soon as she had  
stopped hitting him with her mallet. Ryoga just sat in a chair,  
looking none the worse for wear even though Akane had tried to beat  
him into a pulp.  
  
Ryoga nodded eargerly. They surrounded him. All three girls kept  
looking at him. Ryoga could barely breathe."He cursed me to turn into  
a pig whenever I get spalshed with cold water," Ryoga growled  
weakly."That was the last time I fought him. The time before that he  
made a demon appear." Ryoga shuddered."It tried to eat me." He raised  
his tunic up above his chest. There were a trio of thick scars  
running from just below his collar to the waist of his left side.  
  
Nabiki didn't believe a word of it. Ryoga himself seemed convinced  
that he spoke the truth, though."Are you sure you weren't attacked by  
a bear?" she asked as she walked to the sink and filled a glass with  
water.  
  
"Bears don't breathe fire and fly," Ryoga answered."Hey, you don't  
believe me!" he realized.  
  
Nabiki was back with the water. She didn't wait for permission,  
immediately upending the contents on Ryoga's head. The boy  
disappeared, leaving only a pile of clothes with a little moving lump  
at the bottom. A minute later, a small pot bellied pig wormed it way  
from under the clothing.  
  
"Well I'll be..." Nabiki sighed in suprise.  
  
"Oh my, aren't you cute!" Kasumi swept the pig into her arms and began  
rocking it like a baby.  
  
Akane started screaming.  
  
****  
  
With time to prepare, I arranged for the portal from PokeWorld to be  
vertical instead of horizontal. Falling face first in the dirt isn't  
my idea of fun. I had Demon and Slammer with my still unused Gyrados  
stored in pokeballs along with some supplies recommended by one of the  
Joy's that would help to care for the creatures. The other senshi  
made their own arrangements. Usagi, unwilling to give up any of her  
army, and I do mean that quite literally, had two duffel bags full of  
pokeballs. She's spent the entire night carefully labelling each ball  
and looked less than happy to be awake.  
  
"No one's forgetting anything?" I asked. That would be great, having  
to jump back to retrieve a shoe or something, not that I would do it.  
  
True to character, Usagi ran upstairs and came back down with another  
pokeball."Wouldn't want to forget Psyduck," she explained.  
  
The mirror portal was open five minutes later and we stepped through  
into another dimension. This wasn't our home, either. That meant the  
last choice was the money shot. At least we didn't appear out of  
midair in the middle of traffic or anything.  
  
****  
  
I didn't notice anything unusual at first, busy as I was trying to  
feed Demon. It was when I reflexively attempted to draw energy to  
replenish that spent on flying. I got nothing. I could feel the  
power, I could even see it if I tried, but it would not obey my will.  
This is worse than it sounds.  
  
"Girls," I roared, risking the use of some of my remaining power to  
make my voice audible to the spread out senshi,"don't use any magic!"  
Demon's huge expressive face began to look anxious so I returned him  
to his pokeball. Before going in search of the girls, I drew my  
Crystal from within my arm and pocketed it. I don't even want to  
imagine how painful having it within my arm would be when my power  
finally bled away.  
  
I found Rei and Usagi, silently gathering them to me. The other three  
found us while we were looking for them. They all looked confused and  
a little afraid."I don't know what kind of shitball this world is, but  
it's got some seriously screwed up energy problems. Save all your  
energy for as long as possible, because you won't be able to get any  
more for a while." If only the Silver Imperium Crystal still worked  
with Usagi's magic, she could have kept us charged. As things now  
stood, even with the power of my Crystal backing me, I didn't have  
enough energy to key Usagi's crystal to my aura.  
  
Usagi nodded."I thought something felt odd." Her brow furrowed in  
concentration."I can't draw any energy at all."  
  
I had the others try and they all came up with similar results. We  
still had the pokemon if the natives got hostile, if there were  
natives. We, however, didn't have a way home. I wasn't going to  
mention that fact until later. Usagi obviously had the same thought I  
had. She started crying. Then I had to tell everyone why she was  
crying. My life blows ass.  
  
****  
  
No nice comfortable magical dome or cushion of air for us. Nope, just  
hard ground and hungry mosquitos. I used my chi to start a fire for  
warmth. Yeah, I still have that, for as much good as it does us. Ami  
beckoned to me. Eager to get away from the gloomey girls, I followed  
her until we were far enough away that even the occassional night  
breeze wouldn't blow any part of our conversation across the meadow we  
were camped out in back to the girls.  
  
"Ranma, if magic doesn't work here, why is your ring still working?"  
Ami asked. I hadn't even thought of that!  
  
I kicked in the mystical senses and scanned the little band of white  
metal around my finger. Damn. The minor enchantment that I still  
hadn't figured out, was nearly gone. If I had thought about it soon  
enough and deactivated the enchantment, there might have been enough  
power left in it for me to open a portal home big enough for me to  
squeeze through. I could have easily retrieved the girls then. Now,  
well now it was practically useless and I would be back to being a guy  
full time in a couple hours. Good thing the senshi couldn't attack  
me. Ah, all those damned pokemon. My life blows ass.  
  
"It's almost dead," I replied."This ought to be interesting." I still  
had Demon in my pocket. If necessary, I could have him hold the girls  
off long enough to explain the whole fucked up situation.  
  
I must have sounded pretty pitiful. Ami reached out and patted my  
hand reassuringly."Let's go back and I'll explain everything to them.  
They'll understand, I'm sure."  
  
****  
  
Ami and me walking back into camp holding hands(Ami's idea, I assure  
you) got the others' attention faster than if I had grown an extra  
head right there on the spot. That's not saying much with them in  
their present mood.  
  
"This is very important, so pay attention," Ami said, looking  
pointedly at Usagi. The blonde girl stopped polishing the pokeball in  
her hand."Good. Everyone remember that man we fought the night before  
Setsuna arranged for Ranma to teach us magic?" They nodded. And Ami  
began to explain, all the while sitting a little ahead of me on the  
ground, protectively, I think. She finished a lot faster than I would  
have, but by using just the right words to get the point across.  
  
I did my part then. Instead of changing the ring black, which would  
have used the remaining charge, I slid it off my finger. Their were a  
couple of gasps as I changed back into a guy. No pokemon battle  
orders, though. That was good."Hey," I said."It's still me, you know.  
Like Ami said, Luna just goofed up. It's not really her fault, her  
brain is a lot smaller than a person's afterall." I probably shouldn't  
have insulted Usagi's pet/advisor. Then again, why not? The cat  
'had' been at fault.  
  
I was stared at for a few minutes, until Rei, of all people, said,"I  
always did think you were strange, even for a girl who had demons for  
friends. It makes sense now that I know you're a boy. No sefl  
respecting woman would scratch herself like you do."  
  
Wow, I'd expected her to sic her rat on me at any time, not  
acknowledge me as something other than evil incarnate.  
  
Usagi's eyes narrowed and she glanced from me to Ami and back  
again."So..you two..." She made a lewd gesture."Ah," and an airheaded  
smile of such magnitude to almost need sunblock in its prescense  
appeared."Ranma is the father!"  
  
I felt like slapping myself. No, they weren't going to try to kill  
me, they were going to embarass me to death.  
  
Ami looked at Usagi in utter confusion, then at me."Uh, Usagi, what on  
Earth are you talking about?" she eventually asked.  
  
"But...I overheard you and Professor Oak talking about the baby and  
you said that you didn't know who thae father was...and...oops, I  
think I made a booboo." The meatball head hung her head in abject  
embarassment, her face crimson.  
  
No one could even begin to appreciate the relief I was feeling at that  
moment. Ami actually laughed, a little forced, but a laugh  
nonetheless."The Professor and I were trying to figure out what  
combination of known or possibly undiscovered pokemon mated to spawn  
Demon."  
  
****  
  
With the flippers gone, Setsuna could finally walk properly again.  
Using the Time Gate no longer caused her agony since she didn't have  
hundreds of different energy patterns rampaging through her body.  
Ranma would pay. The rules banned her from contacting her future self  
for direct aid or information, but they didn't say anything about not  
travelling to the future herself.  
  
First, before making the trip, she stopped by the drugstore and bought  
a tube of hemarhoid cream. The silver mists of the Gate parted before  
her and she used its magic to zoom in on Usagi's classroom. No Usagi.  
She checked all the others' classes too. Nothing. Something 'could'  
have interfered with the senshi and kept the busy, or Ranma could just  
as easily murdered them all and voided the pact. Well, Ranma would  
suffer for eternity at her hands if that were true. Homes and  
hangouts came next. Finally, desperately, Setsuna opened herself  
fully to the Gate's temporal magic and allowed her mind to be buffered  
by the Winds of Time while she searched for the senshi. Impossibly,  
that search turned up nothing also. If the senshi had died, they  
would have left remains, even if only a few scattered particles, but  
there was NOTHING. They had no future, not even one as worm food. If  
Setsuna had not had clear access to the past of each of the senshi,  
she could not have even been sure they had ever existed.  
  
What had Ranma done to them?  
  
****  
  
I've always been a sorcerer first and a martial artsit second, but I'd  
still hazard to guess that not ten people on Earth could challenge me  
in straight physical combat. Chi is a major factor for the truly  
elite martial artists, and would have been for me if I had so much  
access to magic.  
  
Early the morning after the revelation of my true identity, I awoke  
and began reaquanting myself with my chi. It was still there, like  
always, just not overly flexible due to inactivity. The simpler  
exercises taught to be by Happosai were a good way to get the energy  
pumping. I moved through those and to amazon attack augmentation,  
finally, when the girls were greeting the morning, my father's  
forbidden techniques. I'll say this for the old bastard, he wasn't a  
complete imbecile in his younger days. I'm glad mom gave me a copy of  
the scrolls that contained the techniques before the cancer got her.  
Bad memories.  
  
"You said not to use our magic," Makoto accused a little suspiciously.  
The senshi were handling my true form much better than expected. If I  
had known they'd take it so well, I could have been a man a hell of a  
lot more than I had the past four months."Shouldn't you follow you're  
own rule?"  
  
I didn't turn around to face her immediately, towelling myself off and  
putting my shirt on first."That wasn't magic," I answered with a  
smirk."I was using my chi. It's not as powerful or as versatile as my  
magic, it does replenishes itself, though."  
  
"Like in the animes?" she asked.  
  
I nodded."Mostly. I can't pull off anything like on Dragonball Z.  
I'm closer to Fist of the North Star levels in that respect, I'd say.  
I don't know how long we'll be stuck here without magic. If you want,  
I'll start training you to manipulate your chi. The process takes  
years, but it it's worth the effort."  
  
"I'll try," Ami commented as she sat up and brushed the fur from  
Makoto's big dog off of her clothes. That little puppy had gotten  
something like ten times bigger when it evolved.  
  
The martial arts lessons I'd been giving the senshi back on Earth had  
been meant to eventually lead up to some rudimentary chi training in  
order to give them the slightly expanded senses that make gathering  
energy for magic easier. Now, when they couldn't use their magic and  
pokemon can't always be relied upon, they'd be getting more than the  
basics.  
  
"Tonight, after we stop and make camp, we can begin the breathing  
exercises. Today we should just try to ascertain where we are. And I  
need to feed Demon." Not to mention get us some food. The few  
supplies we had brought wouldn't last long.  
  
Demon was eager to fill his truck sized stomach and decided that my  
walking speed was too slow. I fit in his hand comfortably enough. He  
was about to carry us into the forest when I stopped him. If he went  
crashing through, knocking down trees, there wouldn't be so much as a  
squirrel to be found.  
  
I pointed up and said,"From the air, Demon, from the air." He nodded  
his understanding and with a great woosh of displaced air, we were  
aloft. The trees here were not closely spaced and the canopy was  
easily seen through. Gliding silently, Demon riding invisible thermal  
updrafts, I spotted a dear. Before I could signal Demon to pounce, my  
pokemon opened its maw and a thin jet of flame flew from between it's  
swordlike teeth and burned the dear's head cleanly off. The carcass  
had barely fallen to the ground when we landed. Demon sounded like a  
tree limb hitting the ground, not the ten ton monster he really was.  
  
I'd been wondering when Demon would begin to manifest the fire and  
dark(whatever that meant) attack powers that Professor Oak's computer  
had predicted. I think that had been the flamethrower.  
  
"You can go ahead and have this one, Demon. We can get one for us  
little humans later," I laughed. Demon was eyeing the surrounding  
trees hungrily, but he needed to eat meat to, not just wood fiber.  
  
Demon shook his head and nudged the dear carcass with his left  
arm."Raaaaaannnn Maaaaaaagh." My mouth snapped shut audibly and I  
stared at Demon in shock. He grinned at me and tore a tree out of the  
ground. He had talked! Demon had talked to me! He'd said my name!  
  
Demon had eaten half the tree and all of its leaves when I finally  
regained enough sense to dress the dear. It was a big beast and would  
feed us for days. Demon could have swallowed it in one gulp.  
  
****  
  
"Go on, Demon," I called to my pokemon. None of the girls believed me  
when I told them that Demon had said my name. I was about to prove  
them wrong."What's my name?" I asked, pointing to myself.  
  
"Raaaaaannnn Maaaaaagh," Demon spoke, his voice a whisper compared to  
his normal full throated, earth shaking roar."Raaaaaannnn Maaaaaagh,"  
he repeated. I patted his flank affectionately. Hey, I never had a  
puppy when I was a kid, I'm just making up for lost time.  
  
"Hahahahaha! Told ya!" Demon's much deeper, rock grating laugh echoed  
mine.  
  
"How come my pokemon never talk to me?" Usagi asked."It's not fair!"  
And she started to cry.  
  
Minako tried to comfort Usagi by saying,"I did hear about this talking  
Meowth when I was working at the pokemon center. You have one of  
those, don't you? You could teach it to talk."  
  
Usagi wailed,"I traded my Meowth for a Bellsprout! Wah!"  
  
I let Demon fly around a while so his trees could properly digest,  
then put him in his pokeball. Once Usagi was reasonably calm, we  
broke camp and went off in search of civilization and a means of  
returning home.  
  
****  
  
Author's Notes: I've had Ranma's personality changing slowly  
throughout the story, but I think it'll being pretty static from now  
on. I can't figure out what the world they are on should be and I  
need some help coming up with a reason why magic doesn't work. C&C  
welcome at dark_phoneix@hotmail.com  



	11. Chapter 10

  
Can It Get Any Worse?: Chapter 10  
  
I knew the senshi and I kept ending up in forests evertime we jumped  
dimensions because I had searched for Earth and those planes most  
similar to it had most of the same features. That knowledge didn't  
stop me from hoping that this world would have something besides  
forest for a thousand miles in all directions. I mean, a city could  
be built in this dimension and not in the others.  
  
No such luck. If anything, the sparse forest seemed larger than the  
others. Without magic for flight, we were in for a long, long  
journey. The pokemon didn't mind giving us rides, and Kamis know that  
Usagi had enough pokemon to carry a mountain with us, but even with  
that advantage, it was slow going. If only the flying pokemon were  
larger, they would have been suitable transportation. Without a  
designated place to land, though, a flying pokemon couldn't use its  
extraordinary ability to travel at supersonic speeds and would tire  
quickly when carrying a load. Demon could have flown us all if his  
wing structure had allowed for places for us and the gear.  
  
Gyrados, dragon snake thing that it was, didn't ever actually touch  
the ground, sorta hovering a few inches in the air. I, at least, was  
riding in style. Poor Rei couldn't ride her rat, despite its huge  
size. She'd had to borrow one of Usagi's, a Rhydon.  
  
"I should be able to do this," Rei said, irritated that she couldn't  
master the breathing techniques I had been teaching."All those years  
as a temple maiden, learning to manipulate the sacred flame, and I  
can't so much as get a spark." She adjusted her seat on the Rhydon.  
The poorly woven mass of straw didn't do a good job of protecting  
Rei's soft skin from the Rhydon's rock hard hide. Her stubborn pride  
wouldn't allow her to accept a different pokemon as conveyance.  
  
I sighed and tried to explain."I told you it could take years to  
learn." Ha, I learned in three weeks! What can I say, I'm gifted."And  
stop trying to manifest the chi. All I want you to do is learn to  
evenly space and control the depth of each breath you take." Harder to  
accomplish than one may think.  
  
Later that day, the forest ended entirely, opening into a plain  
covered in waist high grass for as far as the eye could see. This was  
getting ridiculous. Even on Ranma World, a planet abandoned for  
untold centuries, there had been a dirt road. That still bothers me  
occassionally. A plain dirt road would have been overgrown within  
months of disuse. Ranma World was strange. I'll just have to accept  
that.  
  
"It'd be stupid to go back and waste a week's worth of time," I said,  
as leader(how that happened is as big a mystery as the dirt road).  
Part of it involved being more experienced and knowledgable, only a  
part though.  
  
"I agree," agreed Ami."At the very least we should journey far enough  
onto the plain to determine whether or not there is enough wild game  
and fresh water to support us and our pokemon." The suggestion was  
perfectly reasonable and we didn't argue with its logic.  
  
"To the grass!" Usagi declared, waving her arm wildly through the air  
from the back of her Dandelion. I think she believed there to be a  
possibility of wild pokemon in the grass. Makoto brought it up,  
though.  
  
"Well, there could be," Usagi muttered. Hell, there really could be.  
No way would I admit to that slim chance, not if I wanted to stay sane  
through the rest of the trip.  
  
****  
  
Times like this made Setsuna wish she wasn't so cronically cryptic and  
mysterious. Her future self had to know what had happened to the  
senshi. With rules as concrete as the ones she lived by, Setsuna  
didn't even think about asking.  
  
Viewing the senshi's pasts up until their disappearance took almost as  
much time as if she had jumped back and watched each scene unfold.  
She was pleased to see how much the girls had improved and couldn't  
even find anything to complain about in the changes made to their  
transformation spell by Ranma. The kidnapping of Usagi by government  
agents came as a shock, even to Setsuna, but Ranma, leading the  
remaining Inner Senshi, had freed the Princess, in the process  
releasing dozens of dangerous demons and Nerimians(a sub-species of  
human nearly as bad). Ranma's doing, and without doubt premeditated.  
  
As she watched the last few weeks before the senshi's disappearance,  
the puzzle began to come together. Ranma was slowly, with admirable  
patience, subverting the girls. His discovery of Usagi's mind block  
was too coincidental to be a coincidence.  
  
When the government contacted the senshi and Ranma, Setsuna debated  
whether or not she should begin reviewing the past of the Emperor and  
his men, but ruled it out due to a lack of time(yes, she was actually  
running out of time). The big break came when Ranma's services were  
requested by his conspirators in the closing of a ruptured tomb  
belonging to a long dead warlock who had died in personal battle  
against Queen Serenity a century before the fall of the Moon Kingdom.  
  
  
Setsuna was truly frightened for the first time in centuries. Ranma  
was involved in too many random occurences and coincidences pertaining  
to the senshi and the Silver Millenium. Why had she ever trusted him?  
The answer was even more frightening. She, the manipulator, had,  
herself, been maniuplated. So subtle had the manipulation been, that  
even her temporally honed senses hadn't detected the outside  
influence.  
  
Who could Ranma's backer be? Another Dark Intelligence like Metallia?  
Enemies from the future? The possibilites were too numerous to count.  
She really had her work cut out for her.  
  
(note: I always have thought of Pluto as something of a manipulative  
bitch with way too much time on her hands, literally.)  
  
****  
  
It's pretty easy to get tired of grass, especially when there's  
nothing 'but' grass. That's why I was damned excited when Demon and  
I, flying ahead to scout for a water hole, found a river. It wasn't a  
meager little stream either. The wide expanse of water moved at a  
smooth, if slow pace. This was more than just a break in the scenery.  
Town and cities are built on rivers. They make natural shipping  
routes. Following the river would be our best bet at finding other  
people.  
  
Demon made good time back to the senshi and I informed them of my  
discovery.  
  
"Biiig Waagguuuurrr," Demon said, reinforcing my claim. The pokemon  
was learning to speak at an amazing rate. The shape of his jaw,  
combined with his unusual teeth and tri-forked tongue, made  
pronounciation difficult, but not impossible for the pokemon.  
  
"What are we going to build a boat with?" Minako asked. I goggled at  
her. That sounded like an Usagi question, a predivine mind block  
removal question.  
  
Usagi answering and making fun of the other blonde was scary."Minako,  
why would we need boats? We have plenty of water pokemon. We'll make  
great time on them.  
  
Minako blushed deeply and said,"Oh yeah." Twilight zone moment.  
  
****  
  
A river can get as boring as grass after a while. This one was  
working itself up to that when, at the edge of the horizon, the river  
began to widen dramatically, either forming a lake or emptying into a  
river. It wasn't this change in the natural scenary that got the  
attention of the senshi and I. The really, really big city floating  
in the air above the lake/bay did. I left Gyrados with a command to  
remain in his current position, and pulled Demon out of the hat. I  
wasn't the only one to take flight, via pokemon. Usagi on her Zapdos,  
Ami on Scyther, and Minako and Makoto on the latter's Aerodactyl, all  
formed a V wing formation behind me. Rei must not have cared to leave  
her Slowbro, that or she didn't want to borrow another pokemon. She  
really should have taken the trouble to catch a few besides the rat.  
Useful creatures pokemon, make cats looked damned pathetic.  
  
That thing 'was' a city and not some vast mirage. At first I thought  
that the city was a giant airship of somekind, a product of advanced  
technology, but as the buildings came into sight, I couldn't believe  
that a society with the ability to make a floating city would settle  
for thatched roofs on the makority of the dwellings and wood fires for  
cooking and heat. It was a moment after that little deduction that I  
switched my perceptions over to energy patterns, almost giving myself  
a mystic whiplash with the violence and speed of the change.  
  
Ah. Son of a bitch! All over the city, within large marble buildings  
with a disturbing similarity to the ancient temples of Rome and  
Greece, were vast arrays of spell constructs. They were so large and  
crafted with such skill that they were capable of levitating a city  
the size of Tokyo and all its surrounding suburbs. The fact that they  
somehow had a complete monopoly on all the energy available for  
sorcery on this whole freakin planet didn't escape my notice.  
  
I raised my arm and swung it around in a circle, a predetermined  
signal that meant to get back to safety. It probably scared the  
senshi more than was necessary, but people in that city were most  
likely armed with some nasty magical weapons, and the last thing I  
needed was to have to save them from getting blasted into ash if one  
of the locals saw us and got nervous.  
  
"It's in there, ladies." Blank stares, even from Ami. I really  
shouldn't have expected much more than that. None of the girls were  
far enough along to see what I had."I meant the cause for our loss of  
energy. The energy required to levitate that much mass is vast, and  
whoever built it decided to make the whole world their battery."  
  
"Maybe we could ask them to land for a few minutes and let us  
recharge," suggested Usagi.  
  
"Na uh, very, very doubtful. From what I can see, the place isn't  
built to be landed. The spells active in the consturcts holding the  
city afloat aren't the kind that can be turned off on a whim either.  
Land it and the city breaks into a lot of little pieces. Cut the  
constructs off for even a moment and wham, really big splash." The  
obvious answer was to destroy the city and, with the more powerful  
pokemon as precision artillery, it could be done. Not that Usagi  
would ever let her pokemon be resonsible for such an atrocity.  
  
"Don't even mention it Ranma," asserted Ami, to my suprise."We've all  
just had the same thought and none of us would do that." I've heard  
about sorcerous lovers, those actually in love and who have lived  
together for a long time, being able to read their mates thoughts.  
That Ami was doing this to me, that was as disturbing as finding out  
that I was relatively powerless here.  
  
No, what was 'really' disturbing was that I could do the same thing  
with her, now that I thought about it. In fact, Ami was silently  
congratulating herself on taking such a bold stand with me. Before I  
could let myself even think about the implications of the next couple  
of thoughts about to appear in my brain, I said,"Sorta figured that.  
What else can we do, though? How else do we get the energy we need to  
go home?"  
  
Ami shrugged."There has to be someone that maintains the constructs  
you mentioned. They would surely know of a way to siphon energy from  
them without damaging their integrity." She had a point."All that  
energy would be too valuable to allow to remain in stasis."  
  
I nodded."That is a possibility. Another possiblity is that there is  
a magical cannon that shoots nuclear fireballs up on those walls  
somewhere and the person operating it may be instructed to vaporize  
anything that moves." Extremely unlikely possibility, but still  
possible.  
  
I turned my attention to a crashing splash of water and saw Demon and  
Gyrados playing water volleyball with Slowbro. Who had taught them  
that? Why in hell were they playing water volleyball? I shook my  
head, telling myself that we had more important fish to fry. No pun  
intended.  
  
"Hey, leave him along, you big meanies!" cried Usagi as she ran away  
from the little meeting, pulling out Dandelion and a pair of  
Dragonites that I didn't know by name. As if there wasn't enough crap  
to deal with. I pulled Demon and Gyrados' pokeballs from my pocket  
and activated the retrieval beam on each. The crimson beams of energy  
reached my pokemon and dematerialized them just as a Usagi's trio  
reached attack range.  
  
Usagi attempted to glare a hole through my head as she walked stiffly  
away from the river bank.  
  
I waved my arms helplessly."You can't blame them for having a little  
fun. Your pokemon didn't seem to mind," I said calmly, trying not to  
laugh.  
  
"He was probably too scared to move. Next time you better tell those  
brutes of your's that I won't go so easy on them!" the meatball headed  
warrior for love, justice, and the pokemon way, loudly proclaimed.  
  
"Don't worry, I'm sure they'll do their best to avoid your wrath." I  
said it with such sincerity that she had to know I was blowing smoke  
out of my ass. She just glared at me, absentmindedly stroking the  
pokemon stored at her waste belt.  
  
"And back to the matter at hand..." Rei said angrily. Can't blame her  
for that one.  
  
"I have an idea that could solve the safety issue." Guess who. Yes,  
you're absolutely correct. It's Ami! You win a tootsie roll!"One of  
us will simply fly within range of the city, carrying a pokemon  
capable of teleportation, and use it to escape if the need arises."  
Good plan.  
  
"So which one of you wants-" They were all staring at me. I knew what  
that look meant."That's not fair! Demon is way too big to be  
teleported by any of your pipsqueaks!" They didn't stop staring. I  
could have refused, I guess, but the combined stare of five determined  
girls, one of whom you may have growing feelings for, is kinda  
overwhelming."Damnit, you all owe me one."  
  
Ami winked at me and her grin was positively wanton. What had I made  
this sweet, innocent girl into? Hell if I cared.  
  
The other girls either didn't see the exchange or chose to ignore it.  
Thankfully.  
  
****  
  
Wouldn't you know that Zapdos, Usagi's thunder bird, was also capable  
of teleportation. Why a creature capable of flight would develop such  
a skill is beyond me. I mean, it's not like the thing had any natural  
predators. At least this way I didn't have to put up with Makoto's  
Alakazam. That thing was wierd. What purpose did having two inverted  
spoon shaped fingers serve, anyway.  
  
"Okay, Sparky, let's see if anyone feels like killing us today." The  
peal of thunder, Zapdos' version of a chirp, didn't indicate that the  
bird cared very much for its new nickname."Don't get touchy. It was  
meant as a compliment."  
  
Despite it's attitude, Zapdos loyally followed my orders. We got  
close enough to the city for me to brush the crenelated upper wall and  
to wave to a bored looking guard wearing stiffened leather armor who  
lazily carried a crossbow over his left shoulder. The guy might very  
well have pissed his pants, so great was the fear on his face.  
  
I was also able to get a better view of the city's internal order. It  
was a nice, clean place, especially by the medieval standards it  
appeared to be built around. People who saw me on the glowing bird  
dropped what they were carrying and ran around screaming in abject  
terror. Compared to these people, the guard had been enormously  
brave. Wusses.  
  
Most important of all, beyond even laughing until my chest hurt, was  
the discovery that there were no items with any mystical charge  
whatsoever. The constructs holding the city up were it. Good news.  
  
****  
  
"They ran like I was Barney himself," I reported back to the senshi.  
  
"Uh, who's Barney?" Minako asked in confusion.  
  
Oops."An American creation. You wouldn't understand. I should have  
said Death or Destruction, those would have made more sense to you,  
sorry. Anyway, we should be safe. They don't have anything more  
advanced than a crossbow, weaponwise, and their fighting ability isn't  
even worth mentioning." I hadn't actually seen them fight, but when  
the whole general populace, even the guys, runs screaming from you and  
a measly bird a tenth the size of Demon...  
  
"Poor Zapdos, did he hurt you?" Usagi asked her pokemon. We ignored  
her.  
  
"Crossbows aren't really such a minor threat when you consider that  
all of us are defenseless except for you. Pokemon can't keep us safe  
from the bolts without risking themselves. I wouldn't even ask any of  
my pokemon to do that." Ami was turning out to be an annoying voice of  
reason. Almost as if she were my conscience. I fought down the urge  
to cry. What had I done to deserve this?  
  
Trying to salvage my good mood, I said,"Don't worry about that. I can  
keep anything slower than a high power slug from getting near any of  
you. Not that anyone up there has the balls to shoot at us."  
  
"Oh please," Rei scoffed."Don't try to convince me that you can move  
'that' fast!"  
  
To demonstrate my speed, I mooned Rei for a second, flipped her off  
for a second, and mooned her again, for a second. This only took me  
four seconds. Rei was nearing the purple range of color. Probably  
from rage, but I here from reliable sources that my ass is pretty  
nice, so it could have just been her feminine modesty...Doubt it  
though.  
  
"Okay, maybe you are that fast," Minako said, blushing. Ami did not  
look happy. Have I ever mentioned that my life sucks ass?  
  
"Having along a couple big, evil looking pokemon wouldn't hurt  
either." If only we had had enough rock pokemon we could have just  
made a living wall, but we didn't, and besides, they're not really all  
that fast."Demon and Gyrados are good choices. Any others?"  
  
Usagi launched into a recital of at least fifty pokemon she thought  
were scary. Once again, she was ignored.  
  
****  
  
Since there was no visible gate, ramp, or any other conceivable  
entrance to the city, we just flew up to the side and glided to the  
street nearest what I assumed was the headquarters. The streets here  
were easily wide enough to accomodate Demon once the pedestrians had  
run away. As predicted, they screamed like maniacs as they departed.  
  
"So, should we just walk up the steps and knock on the door?" I asked.  
The building we stood in front of was large and overly decorated. It  
could have been someone's house, but the statues of people in robes  
with books and other stuff in their grasp indicated otherwise. The  
gold-veined marble that the building was constructed from did look  
pretty cool, though.  
  
"Why not?" Minako asked. She was the last one to put her pokemon  
away.  
  
****  
  
Author's Notes: So far this story has been recieved much better than  
I thought it would. Thanks! I've gotten a lot of requests for back-  
ground info on Ranma, so I'm thinking about maybe doing a few prequel  
chapters on his earlier adventures, but that could change. I asked  
for suggestions for what world Ranma and the senshi should be on and  
the best one was Slayers. Unfortunately I don't know enough about the  
geography of that universe and my memory is really fuzzy on that  
damned complicated stucture of gods it has, so I'm just making my own  
world from scratch. My mom's got some sort of pinched nerve in her  
back(seriously makes her into more of a bitch) and the medication  
she's been taking knocks her out at night. The house could burn down  
around her and she wouldn't make a peep, so as long as my family  
doesn't rat me out, I should be able to start making some regular  
posts at night and sometimes in the afternoon since the library a  
couple miles from my house just got online last week. C&C welcome at  
dark_phoneix@hotmail.com  



	12. Chapter 11

  
Can It Get Any Worse?: Chapter 11  
  
The large wooden double doors at the top of the wide steps swung open  
before we were halfway to the top. Soldiers in black and green  
uniforms armed with either shields and some kind of sidearm, a sword,  
axe, or mace, and others with crossbows poured out onto the steps  
ahead of us in double ranks. They formed a wall of men to block us,  
with shields held in interlocking positions on one level of steps and  
the crossbowmen a couple above it. Without our pokemon clearly  
visbile, it seemed that there was a little bit of courage floating  
around this place afterall.  
  
The girls were behind me encase of a projectile attack, but as close  
together as the soldiers were, even if the steps were relatively wide,  
I planned on just hitting them with a extra large vaccum blade. The  
steps would be slippery with all the blood and other bodily fluids,  
none of it would be ours though.  
  
"Halt!" was the simple command barked by a guy wearing the same  
uniform as his underlings, with the exception of a silver star over  
his heart. He stood in the doorway, well above what would soon be a  
massacre if his men attacked.  
  
They obviously spoke Japanese, even though they looked European in  
origin. That's been another little mystery of this whole dimension  
hopping trip. This would be the second world, excluding the one with  
the space ship because they used some kind of implant to translate,  
that spoke Japanese. I would have previously said that the senshi and  
I would have been lucky just to run across a world that spoke a  
language as common to us as Swahili. Sigh. No point in complaining  
about fortuitous coincidences, I guess.  
  
"Nah, I don't think so," I said in a voice as close to that of the  
man's as possible."We'll be needing to see whoever's in charge. Now."  
That came across with a kind of implied threat that had gotten me  
through the gates of Hell once.  
  
Heh. He wasn't used to being disobeyed, that's for sure. Minako and  
Makoto snickering behind me probably contributed to the man's face  
becoming a mottled portrait of red and purple splotches. Talk about  
high blood pressure. Ami soon joined in. I think that Usagi was just  
too worried about whether or not the man's head was going to explode  
to make fun of him.  
  
"Ah, damnit," I sighed. I wasn't in the mood for really getting  
violent and I could feel Ami's accusatory stare pressing against the  
back of my head."Go Slammer!" I cried, turning lose the large Golem.  
The steps shuddered under the fantastic weight of the compact, yet  
massive pokemon. Oh yeah, lots of running, screaming men. Pokedot  
face managed to stand his ground, though the large stain spreading  
across the front of his green pants sorta gave away his fear.  
  
Pokemon, or something very much like pokemon, had really put the fear  
into these people. I was almost starting to feel sorry for them.  
Still, it was funny.  
  
"Begone foul demon, I abjour thee!" Pisspants screamed, his voice  
trembling pathetically. He'd drawn his short sword, not that it would  
do much more than break against Slammer's shell/hide/armor, whatever  
the stuff was.  
  
"Bwahahahahaha!" I roared, laughing almost uncontrollably. Slammer  
pounded on the ground and spit a couple rocks at Pisspants' feet.  
That broke the man. He ran screaming back into the building, not  
bothering to close the doors behind him. Slammer reluctantly returned  
to his pokeball. He was having fun. I really should let him have  
more time out.  
  
"That wasn't very nice, Ranma," chided Usagi."He didn't look very  
healthy. What if you made him have a heart attack? If I was a  
doctor, I could tell you for sure, but I'm almost certain that his  
head was about to explode." Damn, I'm good! The other senshi had to  
turn away and start coughing to cover up their laughter.  
  
"He was going make a fuss and I would have had to kill some people. I  
think Slammer and I did a pretty good job." Usagi had the grace to  
blush slightly."Well," I gestured to the open door,"shall we enter?"  
  
****  
  
The inside of the building was nice, in a stuffy, old way. Tapestries  
hung from the high ceilings, depicting the floating city hovering over  
various location, only one of them water. Most, though, showed men  
fighting hordes of ravening demons. I recognized most of the breeds,  
all of them in the lower echelons of the demonic heirarchy. None were  
particularly powerful, maybe a few times stronger than a normal man  
and occassionally armed with a few killing spells, but when looked at  
from the perspective of normal men with no magic to speak of, an army  
of them type can be intimidating.  
  
The bottom floor was nothing but a single cavern like room, supported  
by marble columns. A spiral staircase rose to the next floor and  
above, wrapping around one of the marble colums.  
  
"My pokemon do not look like any of those beasts!" Usagi loudly  
proclaimed. She was right, they really didn't. She stroked her  
pokeball belt. For a few delicate moments, I feared that she would  
unleash the beasts in the room. It's not a good idea to smash the  
support columns for a large, seven story stone structure.  
  
"I know a guy who runs a hot dog shop in New York," I said, stabbing a  
finger at a short little demon with purple skin covered with pink  
patches of hair who weilded a war hammer nearly as big as he was,"who  
is really one of those. Makes great hot dogs. Heh, and you can be  
sure that they don't really have dog in them. His species go into  
convulsions when anything canine gets near them." Useless piece of  
information, I know, but I felt like saying it.  
  
"Hmm, he's sort of cute," Rei commented. That goes to show just how  
bad her tastes are. I mean, look at the ugly monster rat of hers.  
  
"Yeah, sure. Anyway, let's not stand around here." I didn't look back  
to see whether the girls were following me, I could feel their  
prescenses, and it's more effective being dramatic like that.  
  
I was expecting some kind of landing or doorway leading off from where  
the second floor should be. There wasn't one. I would have been able  
to sense any hidden doorways. We kept on going. No third, forth,  
fifth, or sixth. The stairs topped off on the seventh floor. There  
must have been a back entrance to the other floors. Space in a  
walled, floating city had to be at a premium, it wouldn't be wasted so  
stupidly.  
  
A brass railing surrounded the top of the stairs. The floor in  
question was a smaller, columnless version of the bottom floor. The  
tapestries were different, though, and it was furnished with a number  
of desks of varying quality, and sitting behind most of them were men  
in green, black, and purple robes. They looked up at me with little  
interest and went back to doing their jobs.  
  
Pisspants was wildly gesturing, spittle flying from his mouth, to an  
older man with silver-gray hair and a wrinkled face worthy of the most  
worldly of prunes. The bare floor was polished to a mirror-like  
shine. It's a bit irritating to see yourself looking at yourself when  
you are trying to look serious and vaguely threatening. I managed,  
and amazingly, so did the senshi.  
  
Mr. Wrinkley, it fits, waved Pisspants off with an imperious flick of  
his wrist, somehow getting his aged faced to look disbelieving. This  
didn't seem like the best place to pull out one of my pokemon. The  
floor probably wouldn't support Slammer or Gyrados and Demon couldn't  
squeeze into this confined space for all the pokemon on Pokeworld.  
The others had plenty of ugly pokemon if the need arose, though.  
  
"Hey," I greeted politely. As politely as I ever get, at least."You  
must be the guy in charge. I'm Ranma." Pisspants seemed torn between  
attempting to murder me and rewatering his breeches.  
  
"What are you?" Wrinkley asked."Mr. Dumas(love that commercial) here  
seems to think that you and your lady friends," and the bastard raked  
a lecherous stare across the senshi,"are demons in disguise as  
mortals." When his attention returned to my face, my eyes were  
burning with black and red fire. He swallowed heavily and pulled back  
in his heavily cushioned chair a little.  
  
I always have been good at making lasting impressions. Just look at  
Setsuna. Anyone think she'll ever forget me?"I could say my friends  
and I, and I'll rip your heart out if you ever look at them like that  
again, are travellers from another universe. Though it is true, I  
doubt you would believe the story." Happosai's trick was working  
pretty good. Next step. The air around me darkened slightly, giving  
my features a shaded appearance."What matters to you and all the  
people in this city, is that the creatures we command are not demons,  
but beings from another plane more powerful than demons. If the need  
arose, we could bring down this puny little floating dirt ball. In  
return for not doing this, all we ask is help in restoring our energy  
to a level that would allow us to go home. The spells keeping this  
city afloat make that impossible. So, if the city were to explode,  
there would be no more spells and we could leave. If we get the  
needed help, no one has to die." I'm not the most terribly diplomatic  
of people, running more towards a terrible diplomat, really. I didn't  
want to make the head honcho shit himself, so I cut off the demon  
illusion.  
  
A rustling of cloth and the scrap of chairs across stone alerted me to  
the mass evacuation of this floor. They weren't as indifferent as  
they had appeared. It couldn't have worked out better. Soon the  
whole city would know that I'd hijacked the boss' place.  
  
"Cowards!" Dumas, and what a fucked up name that would be if this were  
an English speaking floating city, called to the escapees. His head  
really did look like it was about to explode.  
  
"The, ah...terms, of your arrangement include help, you say?" I  
nodded."What kind of help would that be?" Old people simply weren't  
supposed to act this way. It was just too out of character. He was  
being obsequious and sounded more like he was trying to kiss my ass  
than save his own.  
  
"I need to draw power from one of the spell constructs that levitate  
the city. Simple as that. I don't know how to do that without making  
it drop like a rock, though. If that's going to happen, why not just  
blow the place up now and get the trouble out of the way?" I paused,  
waiting for any objections. This wasn't as fun as I'd thought it  
would be. An amazon elder would have this guy for lunch."Someone has  
to mantain the constructs. They would know more about them than me.  
There could be alternatives to the first plan."  
  
"And if there isn't anyone who can teach you to manipulate  
the...constructs...properly to send you home?" Only the barest hint of  
steel was present in the old guy's voice.  
  
"Boom!" I chuckled as the horribly lined face went from grey to semi-  
transparent."My friends would probably hate me, with good reason, but  
they have important destinies on our world, save humanity and rebuild  
civilization kind of stuff. If they're trapped here, that isn't going  
to happen."  
  
"Ranma..." growled Rei. I 'think' it was Rei, but the tone was so low  
that any of the senshi could have produced it.  
  
"See?" I asked, gesturing behind me."They don't like this part of the  
plan. They don't have a choice, so don't get any hopes of subversion  
going." Just so you know, I'm bluffing.  
  
"I believe that the constructs you refer to may be the Wings of God,  
our most holy objects. Their Caretakers are rather militant in their  
belief that only they should ever have contact with the Wings. I fear  
none of them would help you." Wrinkley wasn't lying. Damn.  
  
"Well, you better get up off your scrawny little ass and find one that  
'will' help us, before the alternative becomes more attractive."  
Wrinkley didn't seem able to decide if he should stand or crawl, but  
finally decided his dignity couldn't take the beating it would recieve  
from his ego if he were to crawl away. Heh, I bet no one has told  
this guy what to do in years and years.  
  
Once the old man reached the stairs and the sound of his slippered  
feet could no longer be heard, Usagi snapped,"Ranma, how could you be  
so mean to such an old man?" If blondey started acting like Rei the  
wonder bitch, I was going to find myself a nice set of ear plugs and  
nail them in place.  
  
"I did get a little carried away, I admit. I did get the idea into  
his little old head, didn't I?" I took a seat on the edge of  
Wrinkley's desk.  
  
Minako shivered, hugging herself."When he looked at me, I almost felt  
his slimey old hands grabbing me. Ugh." The senshi nodded in  
agreement, even Usagi who had sorta taken up for him.  
  
"Usagi, why did you take up for him with Ranma if you felt so  
uncomfortable with his attitude and nature?" Ami asked. The straight-  
forward question forced Usagi to think about her answer more than she  
would have to a question from me meaning the same thing but voiced in  
different words.  
  
"I guess he just looked so old and fragile, at first, then he 'looked'  
at us like that and I didn't really associate the two images, one of  
the old man, and the other of the perverted old man, as the whole  
image."  
AAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIYYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! It's  
the end of existance!  
  
Really, though, what the shit was up with Usagi? That answer had been  
inspired."Usagi," Rei asked, gently(yeah, wow),"did you hit your head  
and not tell us about it?"  
  
"No, why?" Maybe there was some kind of time-release intelligence  
booster in that mind block we'd gotten rid of. There weren't any  
better explanations even worth pursuing.  
  
Worried glances and resigned shrugs were exchanged.  
  
****  
  
The first three Caretakers that Wrinkley(never did learn his name)  
brought in weren't the religious fanatic types I had expected. The  
first didn't appear to have bathed in at least a decade, his beard was  
filthy, reaching almost to his waste, and a fist sized boil grew from  
his left cheek. You could literally see the thing throbbing! I had  
to break his arm when he tried to rape Minako right there on the  
floor. Women must have one screwed up place in this society, or these  
Caretaker freaks held lots of power.  
  
After number one ran away bawling like a baby, Wrinkley escorted the  
second guy in. He at least knew how to use soap and kept any thoughts  
about messing with the senshi to himself. He kept his thoughts to  
himself right up until I asked him about recharging my energy. Then  
he wanted Rei as a sex slave. This was really getting aggravating. I  
didn't even have to hurt him, he ran away screaming when I started  
glowing. Rei's super rat may have contributed.  
  
Number three was a nice old man who really wanted to help us.  
Unfortunately, he was a nice old man with bills to pay and wanted lots  
of gold. Since I didn't have lots of gold I didn't even have to scare  
him off.  
  
"This isn't working," I said sourly to Wrinkley."Are there any of  
those bastards that aren't corrupt? Just one?" Wrinkley had built a  
small barrier of desks and books between himself and I, out of some  
hope it would protect him from me, I guess. Heh. I let him have his  
comfort.  
  
Wrinkley spread his hands and looked apologetic."The Caretakers with  
the necessary political power to have even a chance at meeting your  
ultimatum are the corrupt ones." Then he started bowing to me.  
Respect is good. Even fear is good. Ass licking, brown nosing just  
isn't any fun.  
  
I sighed."Well, find me a Caretaker with absolutely no political power  
who isn't a pervert and get his ass up here. No freaks, either!" I  
called to him as he scurried down the stairs. I almost felt sorry for  
all that running I was forcing the old man to do, but at his age  
exercise is a rather important activity...  
  
Ami separated from the senshi, who were talking about various ways to  
make their pokemon hunt down the earlier Caretakers who had visited,  
and intercepted me while I paced from one end of the chamber to the  
other."You've got to relax, Ranma." She ran her hand down my back.  
That's really not fair."You're much too tense. We'll find someone to  
help us get home, I'm sure."  
  
I allowed Ami to drag me over to a chair and seat me. Her small,  
delicately boned hands felt wonderful as they massaged the rigid  
muscles in my back into a semblance of normalcy. Ack, she's doing it  
again!  
  
Ami chuckled lightly as I tensed, and I couldn't help but lean back  
and enjoy the treatment. Could she have heard my thought? I mentally  
shook my head. We were friends, lovers, companions, not a couple,  
though.  
  
*Silly Ranma, what do you think a couple is?* laughed Ami's voice in  
my head. She squeaked in fright as I disappeared from the chair. Her  
head swivelled rapidly from side to side, seeking me out.  
  
I was planted firmly in the upper corner where the two walls  
furtherest from the girl were. This was too much, too damned much!  
We couldn't be bonding on THAT level! As people, in form and spirit,  
we were too different. Hell(I guess that's a pun, sorta), I'm  
virtually assured reincarnation as an upper demon lord shall I ever  
die. Ami, well Ami fights for love and justice. The two just don't  
mix.  
  
I stayed in my darkened corner for however long it took for Wrinkley  
to return. When I heard footsteps echoing from within the stairwell,  
I slipped from my perch and rushed to the seat I'd had when Wrinkley  
left. Ami was back with the senshi, looking a bit dejected, but I  
could feel the determination she held for something. Me.  
  
The man Wrinkley led into the room was in his early-to-mid thirties,  
with an unremarkable face, crowned with muddy blond hair. His eyes  
were the same color blue as the robe he wore.  
  
Wheezing and sweating profusely, Wrinkley managed to say,"This is  
Caretaker Telerin. He works as Keeper of the records at the Supreme  
Temple." He plopped down in a discarded chair."You asked for someone  
with no power and I found you one with so little that this chair  
outranks him."  
  
Telerin didn't exactly turn a look of hatred onto Wrinkley, but it was  
damned close."You can leave us now, Chancillor." I think that was a  
title, not a name.  
  
I briefly outlined the situation to Telerin and waited for his  
demands."Fascinating." That was a suprise."And you could recreate the  
Wings of God, the constructs as you term them?"  
  
I shrugged."Now that I've seen the spell, sure, if I had enough of  
that crystal they're made from to work with. Why?" I allowed a  
glimmer of hope to wiggle it's way to the surface of my mind.  
  
"As the Chancillor so eloquently stated, I have virtually no political  
power within the Caretaker organization. The reason for this isn't  
incompetence on my part, no, my opinions aren't held in high esteem by  
my fellow Caretakers. If you speak truly, my radical views could be  
confirmed." Telerin looked a little happy and significantly more  
hopeful than I.  
  
"What radical views would those be?" I didn't wnat to get caught in  
some internal power struggle with a bunch of amazingly corrupt  
priests.  
  
Telerin shrugged."There's nothing really radical about them. I simply  
do not believe that God created the Wings of God. I have found  
several references within our most ancient manuscripts that speak of  
people with awesome powers. They were called Magi'i, and you sound  
very much like one of them. I believe they created the Wings of God  
to give Chicago a means to escape constant demonic invasion."  
  
Chicago? Oh goody, we could very likely be trapped in an alternate  
future within an alternate universe. But Chicago? When has Chicago  
ever had anything but Rust demons and Wind sprites? Then again,  
Chicago could have been the world capital of magic here."Well, then,  
will you help us? I may even be able to prove you right before this  
is all over."  
  
****  
  
Author's Notes: Any good ideas on a history to explain why Chicago is  
a floating medival city now? Am I moving too fast with Ami and Ranma?  
Need some help everyone. In other news, I have a mostly completed  
prologue to a Ranma/X-men crossover in the works. It may even be  
posted along with this. It's gonna be a kind of alternate universe  
that starts off with Ranma being twenty and married to Kasumi, but  
he's probably going to get dumped into the normal Ranma world. I just  
love those kinds of fics. Don't you? Until next...C&C welcome at  
dark_phoneix@hotmail.com  
  
P.S.- I don't have a website. I've never made one before and don't  
have the slightest clue how to do a decent one. Any suggestions would  
be helpful. You know, what programs to use, what site provider is the  
most reliable, that kind of thing. 


	13. Chapter 12

  
  
"Ranma, hurry," Makoto called to me. Telerin and I were discussing  
some of the eccentricities of the strange religion that had sprung up  
around the spell constructs and how the citizens of Chicago lived.  
Thousands upon thousands of years must have passed since the Chicago I  
knew existed. The culture here had absolutely no memory of its  
origin.  
  
There was a knot of girls gathered around south facing window.  
Telerin and I walked over, still talking."Chicago is constantly on the  
move," the Caretaker explained."When resources begin to grow scarce,  
teams of men are gathered to make excursions to the surface."  
  
I had figured something like that."What about food? There must be a  
lot of people to feed in a city this size." There were small gardens  
behind most houses, but they couldn't possibly support the multitudes.  
  
"Perhaps I should rephrase my last response. The teams of men are  
trained foragers that work in groups of several thousand, at the very  
least. Littered across the world are tracts of land completely barren  
of life, despite our passage having been centuries ago." Okay, that  
was a pretty good answer.  
  
"And what happens when the city is over open water?" That comment  
about the land being barren after Chicago's passing was unusual, but I  
decided to drop it for now.  
  
Telerin shrugged."Chicago is adequately supplied with fishing vessels.  
Fish, and especially whales, have many useful bodily components." I  
hadn't seen any harbors, and boats didn't just park themselves in a  
gargae somewhere. That was another unimportant issue.  
  
We were right behind the girls now. They made a path for me, either  
unconsciously or intentionally blocking Telerin's further  
approach."Wow, nice mob." Mob didn't really describe the mass of  
screaming maniacs that was slowy crawling towards this building. I  
squinted and sharpened my vision as best I could with chi."It's  
Stinky!" Sure enough, the first Caretaker we had met was leading the  
ravening army of idiots towards us, waving his unbroken arm wildly  
above his head.  
  
"He works fast," commented Telerin, finally managing to squeeze his  
way through the girls' defense."What did you do to the Tyrant?"  
  
Tyrant didn't sound much like an insult when Telerin said it. It  
sounded like a title."I broke his arm in seven different places."  
Telerin looked at me in horror."What?"  
  
"He-he's t-the Tyrant. The Tyrant is the spiritual leader of the  
entire city of Chicago!" I don't think Telerin was too happy to be my  
associate anymore. In fact, I think Telerin was seriously thinking  
about jumping out of the unglazed window and ending what he felt would  
be a significant amount of future pain.  
  
I laughed at the distraught man. I couldn't help it."What kind of  
idiots are you people, to let a monster like that come to power?" The  
sneer on my face was a nice addition to the derisive tone I took. The  
odor alone should have kept the pervert out of office.  
  
Telerin seemd unfazed by my attitude. He looked mournfully down at  
the approaching horde."My life hasn't really been very enjoyable,  
anyway. Maybe I'll be reincarnated as a bird or something."  
  
Ah geeze, he was about to start crying."Cheer up," I said."Stinkey and  
his crowd aren't going to bother us, I assure you." This is where  
having legions of pokemon comes in handy. The deeply ingrained fear  
of all non-human(with the exception of horses and a few chickens I saw  
earlier) life the people of Chicago seem to have, doesn't hurt one  
bit.  
  
So much for cooperation from the population."Time to turn loose the  
pokemon," I informed the senshi. They were each carrying their six  
strongest, most fearsome beasts, with the exception of Rei, who's  
super rat was the only occupent on her ball-belt. Usagi had thrown a  
bitch fit about leaving all her others behind, but we'd convinced her  
to leave them under guard with a couple of Dragonites.  
  
Chances were that no one would bother our pets, then again, those  
tapestries had depicted men doing battle with demons. That must have  
been a long time ago.  
  
"I don't understand what-" That was as far as Telerin got, seeing as  
how twenty eight pokemon were materializing a few hundred feet in  
front of the mob. He screamed, like I'd expected, and tried to bolt  
for the stairs. I reached out and grabbed him by the hood of his  
robe, jerking him back to the window. He screamed again when I made  
him look at the pokemon who were doing their best to look mean.  
  
"Calm down, man, calm down!" I shouted in his ear."They're not  
demons!" He probably thought I sounded like a lunatic, trying to  
convince him that Demon and the other pokemon weren't actually demons.  
  
Telerin screamed. I slapped him. He didn't stop screaming. I  
finally just gave up and decked the wuss."I guess we should try out  
the cute, cuddly ones next, eh?" I asked as we watched the mob come to  
a screeching halt. It didn't really slow down all that fast, mobs  
don't do that, but they took a lot less time than I had imagined.  
Demon threw his head back and cut loose with an absolutely huge column  
of flame. I was really proud of him. The other pokemon followed his  
lead and within seconds there were all kinds of deadly energy attacks  
blazing through the sky.  
  
Poor mob, I almost felt sorry for it. All those people that got  
trampled as it turned around and ran for its collective life probably  
weren't feeling too well either.  
  
****  
  
"Setsuna, how could you trust someone who so blatantly associated with  
demons?" Haruka shouted, shocked at Sailor Pluto's(the single person  
whom was never ever supposed to be wrong) blunder and the toll it had  
taken on the ranks of the senshi.  
  
"Don't question me, girl," commanded Setsuna rigidly. She couldn't  
blame Haruka for being mad about being taken out of her car in the  
middle of a race, it had then hit the wall and exploded, but she  
wouldn't allow the lesser being to question her."I am not totally  
infalable. Whoever manipulated me into contacting Ranma must be  
unimaginably powerful. I fear that even if the Inner Senshi were  
here, this new threat could simply ignore us."  
  
"What about Crystal Tokyo? Can't we get some help from the future  
senshi? The way I understand it, the Inners bailed them out of a  
pretty bad situation before Haruka and I awakened." Michiru reached  
out to stroke Hotaru's hair. The little girl had taken a turn for the  
better after the phenomonal growth spurt last year that had returned  
her to preadolescense, but now her health was worsening almost by the  
day. Setsuna believed Ranma or his master to be the blame for this,  
too.  
  
Setsuna shook her head in frustration."As of right now, the Inner  
Senshi have no future. Therefore, there is no Crystal Tokyo."  
  
"Is there anything we can do?" Haruka asked, her hands gripping the  
arms of her chair tightly enough to make the wood creak.  
  
"We have one chance and one chance only," Setsuna answered. The  
Outers leaned forward in anticipation of the solution."I can send you  
two back in time, without your powers, and hope that you'll be able to  
manipulate other magical warriors into destroying Ranma before his  
powers are fully realized"  
  
"Why wouldn't we have our powers?" Haruka asked, sounding angry, but  
inwwardly frightened. She'd been an absolute bitch to almost  
everyone, and relied heavily on the security of being able to  
transform into Sailor Uranus. Afterall, who in their right mind  
messes with someone capable of calling up an earthquake with a snap of  
her wrist?  
  
Setsuna sighed."Since you already exist in the past you will be  
travelling to, the link between your planets belong to your past  
selves. Unlike the Inner Senshi who are true sorceresses, you three  
get your power from a direct mana-bind with your respective planet."  
  
Michiru asked,"Won't this course of action violate the blood pact  
between you and Ranma, Setsuna?"  
  
"No, as long as I don't directly participate in harming or killing  
Ranma, the pact remains intact." Setsuna had made the mistake of  
underestimating Ranma and the amount of spite he carried within her  
heart. He would pay, oh he would definitely pay. With his miserable  
life.  
  
"Hotaru can't come with us, then," Haruka said firmly. They all knew  
that the little girl's power as Sailor Saturn was the only factor  
keeping her alive.  
  
"Of course not," confirmed Setsuna.  
  
****  
  
"Oh, Ryoga, ohhhh!!!" Kasumi moaned into her pillow as Ryoga thrust  
into her for the last time, spilling his seed deep into her womb.  
Still trembling as tiny orgasms rocked through her, Kasumi drew Ryoga  
into a pssionate kiss.  
  
The eldest Tendo was just drawing back for a breathe of air when her  
door banged open. Ryoga sqeaked in fright and attempted to hide under  
the covers.  
  
"There you are," Nabiki snapped. She was dressed in a leather neglige  
and had a coiled bull whip hanging at her hip."It's my night with him,  
Kasumi."  
  
Kasumi looked down at Ryoga, his cock still held tightly within  
her."But, Nabiki," Kasumi whined,"I thought you had a date tonight.  
Can't we make work something out?"  
  
Nabiki shook her head."I'm horny." She walked over to the bed and  
grabbed Ryoga by the ear."Come on, lover boy."  
  
Ryoga finally spoke."Um, can-can I have a break, please?" His face was  
flushed and his left eye kept twitching. Between them, the Tendo  
sisters hadn't let him get a night of sleep in almost a week.  
  
Nabiki shook her head. She reached down and carressed Ryoga's dick,  
still hard and ready to please."No, I'm afraid not. Akane's waiting  
for you in my room and she's a little desperate for relief. You  
should do just the trick. Then it'll be my turn for a few hours."  
Ryoga looked like he would cry."Don't worry, Kasumi, I'll bring him  
back in the morning," she assured her older sister.  
  
****  
  
Downstairs, Soun Tendo cowered in his closet, weeping uncontrollably.  
He clutched his head in a desperate attempt to keep out the horrible  
sounds coming from upstairs. It did him no good.  
  
****  
  
Telerin came awake with a start and hurriedly surveyed the room. When  
he found no demons-or pokemon, he calmed dramatically. I couldn't  
spoil the moment, so I said,"No, it wasn't a dream."  
  
The man didn't even scream."What are they? The old tales claim that  
demons have no masters, yet you and your women clearly control those  
creatures."  
  
I ignored the growls of promised pain to come from the girls. Telerin  
was just not at his best today."Demons do, in fact, have masters. But  
that's beside the point. Those creatures you saw are called pokemon.  
They're animals on the last world we visited. Most of them are too  
cute to believe, but we picked our meaner looking ones for today, just  
encase crowd control became a problem."  
  
"So they're not going to eat my soul and wear my skin as a trophy?" ha  
asked hopefully. Where had he been getting his information? Sure,  
demons ate souls, well most of them did, but none of them wore human  
skin. From a demon's point of view, wearing a human's skin would be  
about as bad as draping themselves in used tampons.  
  
"No, Telerin, none of that. The big one with the wings that started  
out blowing fire into the air, he eats other pokemon sometimes, but  
that's nothing for you to worry about."  
  
"That pokemon is a menace," Rei snapped. She had her super rat in her  
lap and was scratching it affectionately behind the ears. It had burn  
slave spread across it right side and most of its fur had been singed  
off, making it even uglier.  
  
"Demon isn't the only fire pokemon, you know?" I think Rei was just  
jealous that her only pokemon was so small that it could fit between  
the teeth of Demon. Telerin started to look panicky again."Don't  
worry, Telerin, Demon is just the name of one of my pokemon. He's not  
really a demon." I wonder if Ami could whip up some homemade prozac,  
or maybe some perkeset(not sure on spelling), because we needed this  
guy sane and if he started freaking out every time we mentioned  
pokemon, we might as well toss him out the window and find another  
Caretaker.  
  
"Well if that monstrosity hadn't decided to show off, Ratty wouldn't  
be burned, now would he?" I'll be glad when some of the girls' pokemon  
mate and start laying eggs. Rei really needs something to focus on  
besides that beaver-toothed rodent.  
  
I waved the matter aside with a dismissive gesture I just knew would  
piss her off."Give it a potion and a few hours sleep and it'll be  
fine." Back to scaredypants."How about we head on down to those  
archives you mentioned earlier? I need to look through them and see  
if there is anything I'm forgetting to ask you."  
  
"Anything to get out of this place before another mob shows up."  
Telerin stood, then his eyes got that nervous quality to them  
again."It doesn't really bother me, since I'm of the much smaller  
order of Caretakers that remain celebate, but your women aren't  
properly dressed to move through Chicago. We would be able to pass  
with much less attention being drawn if they were better conceiled."  
He didn't even know how close he was coming to getting mauled by a  
pack of angry senshi.  
  
"We'd better clear something up real quick. These girls aren't my  
'women'. They're my friends and students for the most part, and  
royaly of a sort on our home world. Actually, if those Wings of God  
things weren't annuling their powers, each of them would most likely  
be able to destroy this city by themselves, so treat them with some  
respect." There was just enough implied threat in my voice to get the  
message through.  
  
Telerin coughed, then looked at the group of senshi who stood glaring  
at him."I'm terribly sorry for my earlier behavior, ladies, and your  
clothing is nice, I assure you, but no woman in Chicago is allowed out  
in her undergarments. Unfortunately, what you are now wearing is  
quite a bit more revealing than the standard undergarment would be."  
  
The senshi were nodding reluctantly. I thought they all looked pretty  
good, myself. They wore colors that matched their elemental  
affinities, an unconscious action I think. The shirts and tank tops  
were pretty tight and the shorts and skirts could have been longer,  
but back in Japan and PokeWorld, those clothes hadn't been anywhere  
near daring."What would you suggest they wear?" I asked.  
  
Telerin looked around the room. There were lots of cloaks and robes  
laying around, some left behind in the evacuation and others hung on  
racks."If you ladies kept the hoods drawn and altered your stride  
adequately, we could all pass for men. 'That' would save us a lot of  
hassle when we get to the Archives."  
  
I nodded and began collecting armloads of the garments. I wasn't the  
only one to do this and we soon had four giant piles of black, green  
and purple robes and cloaks. The senshi took way longer than I  
thought necessary to find stuff that fit them. When they finally did,  
though, we headed down the stairs with Telerin in the lead.  
  
****  
  
"Your mirror should allow you to find Ranma, Michiru," Setsuna told  
them."It's power is directly related to your soul, so it will still  
work, as will your sword, Haruka. Once you find the boy, do not harm  
him," the temporal mage stressed."Break this vial over his head and  
use a rag to smear it as thoroughly as possible over his body. If the  
contents touches you, whatever it touches will have to be cut off or  
every devil hunter in Japan will be after you." She handed Michiru a  
small glass vial with a clear fluid inside.  
  
"We understand," the two senshi said almost simultaneously.  
  
Setsuna didn't bother to transform to her senshi state, simply  
summoning the time key and opening a portal to seventeen years in the  
past. The Outer Senshi lept through the portal holding tightly to one  
another's hand.  
  
The portal had just closed when Setsuna realized what a horrible  
mistake she had just made. She was the reason that Ranma was so well  
liked by demons! Without her interference, Ranma Saotome would have  
died during the cat-fist training. Setsuna fainted, all the while  
screaming at the injustice of it all.  
  
And so the cycle continues.  
  
(I think it's sorta funny to have Setsuna be the cause of her months  
of torment, don't you?)  
  
****  
  
Author's Notes: Short chapter, I know, but a good stopping point.  
C&C welcome at dark_phoneix@hotmail.com  



	14. Chapter 13

  
Can It Get Any Worse?: Chapter 13  
  
"Amazing!" Ami exclaimed."This Newspaper goes back to the year 2098."  
We had been rummaging through the lower floors of the Archives for  
about half the day, finding all kinds of useless crap. Most of the  
stuff was just books and magazines stored in the library that the  
Archives had become and it was all in English. Ami and I were the  
only ones who could read any of it. Telerin was stunned speechless   
by that alone, saying that the language had been dead in Chicago for   
millenia.  
  
I hurried over to the girl, leaving behind Telerin and his crash  
course in pokemon accustommization. Usagi was really getting a kick  
out of showing the man all of the cute pokemon in her pokedex."What  
have you found?" I'd found records at least three hundred years more  
recent than Ami's paper and none of it had shed any light on the  
changes that occured to Chicago to make it into it's present day city-  
state.  
  
Ami pointed to the headline of the yellowed piece of crumbling paper.  
Everything down here was remarkably preserved, at least. The headline  
read,'Self proclaimed Queen of Earth, Usagi Tsuniko, defeated at  
last!'."Ami, whatever you do, don't tell the others about this," I  
ordered. Ami would have known better than to do that, but I had said  
it by reflex.  
  
"I wasn't planning on it, Ranma. It just suprised me, that's all."  
She laid the paper down and looked at me imploringly."Ranma, if some  
form of senshi existed in this universe and they were deposed like  
that, couldn't that happen to us when the times comes on our world?"  
She didn't seem like she could accept the possibility.  
  
I shrugged."Anything is possible, I guess, just look at this place, an  
actual floating city, but I really doubt that will happen on our  
Earth. Usagi and the rest of you senshi, along with the army of  
pokemon that Usagi plans on breeding, will be more than powerful  
enough to take over the Earth when the time comes. And besides,  
you'll have me on your side." What better insurance could you ask for  
than that?  
  
Ami smiled at me, patting the bench beside her. Obviously, I sat  
down, wrapping my arm around her waist in the process."I'm sure you're  
right, dear, but that isn't supposed to happen. Usagi is supposed to  
become ruler by complete consent of the people of Earth, not through a  
long, bloody battle."  
  
The 'dear' comment about made me do my little disappearing routine  
again, Ami's arm around me and the warm emotions I felt coming from  
her stopped me. I'm doomed, I know now. Absolutely doomed."That's a  
long time away and in a completely different plane of existance. The  
people of Earth may accept Usagi with open arms. If they don't, well,  
maybe I can arrange for you to be in charge." DO NOT SAY A WORD!!!  
  
The girl squeezed me around the waist and laid her head on my  
shoulder. Oh well, might as well live with it as best as I can.  
  
"Ranma..." Ami murmurred into my shirt warningly.  
  
"Just being pessimistic, ignore me." Communication isn't going to be a  
problem like I hear it is in a lot of other relationships.  
  
****  
  
"Now is the time, Master," Lady Kima said, bowing to Lord Saffron.  
Her white and purple-speckled wings were folded tightly against her  
back and a plain hilted sword hung at her hip.  
  
"And the senshi?" Saffron asked, his voice rising and the light  
emitted by his body darkening to red in anger. He hadn't forgotten  
his ill treatment during the Silver Millenium by the Sailor Senshi and  
their Bitch Queen. If anything, the ancient resentment had festered  
and grown through each of Saffron's incarnations.  
  
"Gone, my lord. We know not where. Only the temporal mage, Setsuna  
Meiou, remains and she appears to be thoroughly preoccupied with more  
pressing matters." Kima hadn't forgotten the old tales, stories told  
by mothers to frighten newly hatched Phoenix People. Her race had  
been visciously oppressed for a thousand years, and their lord and  
master had been enslaved by their Fire Witch. Now, with their power  
gone from the world, Lord Saffron's empire would know no bounds.  
  
"Then, my loyal servant, send emissaries to the Musk and Amazon  
nations. Tell them of our plans and invite them to join the cause,"  
the Phoenix King ordered.  
  
"As my lord commands," Kima stated before rising from her knee and  
marching to the open window. Once there, she unfurled her wings and  
stepped off of the railless balcony.  
  
"The world shall be mine!"  
  
****  
  
Setsuna screamed a lot that day. Then came the overwhelming urge to  
blow something up. After that she seriously contemplated suicide. If  
only she had thought about her actions. If only she had considered  
the consequences of those actions. Now though, she had perpetuated a  
time loop and to attempt to change that loop after its initiation  
would be very, very bad. What could she do? Any action she took  
would cause a paradox that would change her memory along with everyone  
else's. Ranma would still be in the picture as the Inner Senshi's  
teacher and she would have no knowledge of his true intent.  
  
Haruka and Michiru had arrived from their little trip minutes after  
their departure. The couple had a nice bronze tan and several bags of  
cloths. Retro seemed to be in style again. They'd found their less  
than illustrious leader ranting and raving like a madwoman. Before  
they could help her, though, she'd teleported herself back to the  
Gates of Time and continued her breakdown.  
  
(Note that time does not pass in the Gates of Time as it does in the  
rest of the universe)  
  
Several months later:  
  
Setsuna sat on a badly soiled sofa, watching an episode of Welcome  
Back Cotter. In her left hand a two-liter coke bottle rested, ready  
to be poured at a moments notice, and her right hand sported the  
leading end of a three mile long fruit roll up fruit snack. Her  
Sailor Pluto uniform hadn't been changed since she'd planted herself  
on the couch and her growing bulk was threatening to burst it at its  
seems.  
  
****  
  
I'd quickly changed my planned approach to the whole Chicago  
problem. The people just wouldn't cooperate. And they were idiots.  
I don't mean ignorant, but with the ability to learn, these people  
were just idiots. Telerin appeared to be about the most intelligent  
person in the whole city and look how life had treated him.  
  
Caretakers were expected to provide their own lodgings with the money  
they drew as a weekly stipend. Telerin's stipend barely allowed him  
to maintain a closet-sized room and leave him enough food to survive  
on. We certainly wouldn't be staying with him, and since we needed  
his help, he had to stay with us.  
  
He didn't much like the idea, but he didn't really have a choice.  
Stinkey was out for our blood, Telerin's included. So, with each of  
us burdened with bundles of ancient documents and books that I hoped  
could shed some light on a way to transfer energy from the constructs,  
we snuck from the Archive building after night fell and the attendent  
guards went home. Why have guards in the day time if you're not going  
to have them at night? Idiotic people.  
  
Telerin took a lot of convincing, but I finally managed to persuade  
him to climb into Demon's hand. I stepped up onto the other one and  
the giant pokemon gently closed his hands until we were each held  
snugly in his grip. Telerin managed not to scream during the whole  
flight, another point in his favor.  
  
Usagi's Dragonites flew up from the dark sea of grass below to greet  
us. Telerin did scream then, but stopped himself before I had to get  
involved.  
  
"So this is what true ground feels like," the Caretaker mused out loud  
after we'd set up camp for the night."From all the stories I hear from  
foragers, it's supposed to be like being stuck in a pit of tar. Not  
that I know what that feels like, but they described that too..." He  
walked off into the gloom, muttering to himself.  
  
A couple hours later, when I had nearly convinced Ami to slip off into  
the grass with me, Minako said,"Guys, come look at this one." Why the  
girl hadn't volunteered her knowledge of English to me earlier I don't  
know, but Usagi's explanation of her friend's stay in England as a  
fighter for love and justice had got boring fast, so I couldn't be  
blamed for that.  
  
I cursed and detached from Ami. Minako was reading by the fire. The  
sheet of plastic she read from was the standard replacement for paper  
after about 2100. The material was tough, resistant to heat, and gave  
one hell of a paper-plastic cut, whatever. I scanned through the  
document she handed up to me, reading the first few lines to  
myself.'Wide scale nuclear bombardment over majority of Africa and  
Asia. Experts expect fallout to cover much of the globe, concentrated  
mostly in southern Europe and the desert regions of Australia'.  
  
No wonder magic started being more commonplace here. Planet sized  
disturbances like that can cause all kinds of nasty side effects.  
Just look at the invention of the television. Do you think that half  
the world used to sit on its collective ass before the little moving  
piture box was invented. The prevalence of magically gifted children  
coming into the world would lead to a more indepth study of magic, and  
a revival of much of the old knowledge.  
  
The fact that the world was going straight down the toilet probably  
prompted a lot of people to start looking for into alternatives   
lifestyles, too.  
  
"Sucks, don't it?" I asked, handing the plastic sheet back to  
Minako."I can't believe they actually nuked more than half the world's  
population over fishing rights. But if you look at it from a certain  
perspective, that could have been nature's way of saying that you're  
all too stupid to live. Seems to me like something should have  
happened to all the old people in charge of everything, though, and  
not the normal people. Oh well, not my problem."  
  
"How could you say that?" Usagi almost shouted. Leave it to her to  
feel compassion for people who'd been dust for so many freakin years.  
  
I shrugged."Don't whine, Usagi, it'll give you wrinkles." 'That' shut  
the future queen up faster than if I'd stapled her lips together.  
  
Ami and I slipped back into the grass, leaving Minako with  
instructions to keep any more discoveries to herself until morning.  
  
****  
  
"Ranma, I think you may need to do something about Demon," Makoto said  
a couple days later. We were steadily moving through the material  
from the Archives, our fourth load, and Telerin was almost adjusted to  
being around pokemon."He's still growing and I noticed him looking at  
Fluffums," an ugly little Snubull,"like she was a snack. If this  
keeps up, Demon may actually eat one of our pokemon."  
  
This had been coming for a while. Demon was maybe a third the size of  
Gojiro now and eating huge swathes of grass daily."I'll take him back  
to the forest and let him hunt himself stupid, how's that?" I asked.  
  
"That's fine with me," Makoto answered, turning back to her breakfast  
of rabbit stew.   
  
I told Ami about my little side trip and she insisted that she go  
along. I didn't really mind, but I went through the motions of  
refusal anyway."But this is supposed to be one of those male-bonding  
things, between Demon and me," I protested.  
  
Ami looked at me, her eyes flat, but a tiny smile gracing her small  
mouth."Ranma, don't even waste your breath. Demon can carry me  
without any trouble and it wouldn't hurt him to become more aquainted  
with me. We are going to know each other for a while. Besides, I can  
be reached on my communicator if there is any trouble here at the  
camp."  
  
I gave up, abandoning my last few arguments. Ami didn't need any  
verbal confirmation, reaching up and giving me a quick hug when she  
felt my capitulation.  
  
****  
  
Hunting hismself stupid turned out to take Demon longer than I had  
imagined. Ami and I mostly had the days to ourselves and used them  
for lots and lots of cardiovascular exercise. I was starting to get a  
little sore, when after two and a half weeks, Ami's communicator  
started buzzing.  
  
Ami held the watch-like device at an angle so whoever was on the other  
end couldn't see her unclad body and asked,"What's wrong?"  
  
I peaked over her shoulder and saw Minako in the little screen."I just  
thought you and Ranma would want to know that the stuff we picked up  
last night has begun to use some Japanese. I think we're getting  
pretty close to the actual cause for Chicago to go airborn."  
  
I sighed. The vacation and countless hours of wild sex were at an  
end, at least temporarily."We'll be there as soon as I can round Demon  
up."  
  
Minako nodded, blushing as Ami turned the screen at an angle that  
showed way too much of me to be decent. The screen went blank.  
  
"That wasn't very nice," I chided."I feel so violated. And think  
about poor Minako, she'll never be able to find anyone even close to  
my standards." I didn't really mind, but this had 'I've been naughty,  
please spank me' written all over it.  
  
****  
  
"I just discovered the most amazing thing," Kasumi said excitedly to  
her sisters."If you turn Ryoga into a pig them change him back, 'Little  
Ryoga' is fully recovered and ready for more." She held a weakly  
struggling P-chan under one arm.  
  
Soun banged his head on the coffe table really hard, rendering himself  
unconscious.  
  
Nabiki waved Kasumi's discovery off."Old news, big sister. I've known  
that for weeks," she confessed.  
  
Kasumi looked at her middle sister in a heartbroken sort of way and  
her lower lip began to tremble. With pearly tears in her eyes, she  
asked,"A-all this time, a-and you didn't tell me?" She turned her gaze  
to Akane who was in the process of slipping a home movie of her and  
Ryoga into the VCR."Not you too, Akane."  
  
"Sorry, big sister. I just didn't think about telling you." Akane   
actually hadn't felt much like sharing.  
  
Kasumi sniffed."Well fine, I'm going to go lock myself in my room with  
Ryoga and I'm not coming down to cook for anyone for a week. See how  
you like that!" The eldest Tendo, P-chan now squirming desperately  
under her arm, stomped upstairs and slammed her door.  
  
"Geeze, who unplugged her vibrator?" Nabiki asked caustically.  
  
Akane shrugged and made herself comfortable just as the screen began  
to display her movie. The Tendos, with the exception of Soun, had  
never been happier and they didn't plan on ever letting Ryoga escape  
their grasp. Who knew how many days he would be gone if that  
happened? The thought was unbearable.  
  
****  
  
"Are the advanced parties armed and fully supplied?" asked General  
Marthalus. His iron-grey wings were still powerful, despite his  
advanced age, and the glint of steel that could occassionally be seen  
between his feathers indicated him as a master of the Raging Storm  
school of Phoenix Combat.  
  
"Yes, sir. We have also recieved a shipment of herbs from the Amazons  
that will give out warriors extended stamina and endurance during  
battle. I took the liberty of having it rationed among the men, after  
proper testing, of course," Commander Berhid answered. Most of his  
body was covered by intricately worked armor fashioned from minute  
metal scales and the only weapons he wore came in the form of metal  
gauntlets that lent strength and power to his natural talons.  
  
"Excellent. If at all possible, I would like to speak with the Musk  
and Amazon Commanders. I'm sure they would appreciate a chance to  
send their people along with ours. Their skills would greatly  
compliment our warriors. That is all," finished the general.  
  
"Right away, sir."  
  
****  
  
"It has been decided," Cologne said to her heir."You will accompany  
the first squad of Amazon warriors that will travel with the Phoenix  
People." The Matriarch of the Joketsozuko Amazons led her great-  
granddaughter to the building adjacent to the armory. This one held  
the magical artifacts and enchanted weapons collected over the  
millenia by the tribe.  
  
Shampoo glanced across the room. Along the walls hung items of power  
that she couldn't even begin to control. Iron bound trunks and strong  
boxes held within them smaller, more valuable items and some even  
contained martial arts scrolls, the most valued treasure of the  
Amazons. Her eyes alighted on a particularly deadly looking sword.  
The light reflected from its razor sharp blade in a cascade of bright   
colors and an inner fire burnt within the hen egg-sized ruby attached   
to its hilt.  
  
"Ah, I see you've noticed the contribution your young friend Ranma  
made to the tribe." The boy had been a powerful sorceror and martial  
artist and many of the tribe had set their sights on him almost as  
soon as he'd walked through the gates. Cologne had put a stop to  
those notions almost immediately. Ranma felt pure evil to her senses,  
and when attention was called to that fact, so to did the other elders  
notice. Cologne saw deeper though, as her three centuries of training  
allowed. Ranma's heart was pure, if slightly shadowed, and his evil  
prescence was nothing more than some kind of curse he wasn't even  
aware of.  
  
"Aiyah, Ranma made this?" Shampoo asked in wonder. She'd sparred with  
the foreign boy a number of times and had hoped their relationship  
would go further, but the few times she had lured him to her bed  
hadn't been enough to keep him in the village.  
  
"Yes, dear child. Ranma made that sword. It was part of a deal to  
instruct him in our deepest arts. I believe we came out the betters  
in the deal, but Ranma appeared satisfied." Cologne cackled. Not many  
within the tribe had any of the Gift for sorcery, and none of them  
could create an object nearly as powerful as the one before them.  
Trading it for a few advanced martial arts techniques that would go to  
the grave with their owner was a small price to pay.  
  
"What does it do, great-grandmother?" She reached out to touch it,  
running her hand along the silver wire wrapped hilt.  
  
"At it's user's command, the sword begins to give off enormous heat or  
equally massive amounts of chill. It only lasts for an hour before  
needing to recharge for a full day, but you can see the advantage a  
sword like this would be in battle, especially to a weilder versed in  
the Hiryu Shoten Ha and Soul of Ice." Cologne had tried the weapon out   
for herself, and with a little practice, had been able to create the   
cyclone without moving from where she stood.  
  
"But that's not why we're here," she reminded the much younger woman.  
She walked over to a large trunk and opened it with a tap of her  
staff. It contained the more useful temporary curses that could be  
derived from boiled down Jusenkyo water. She grabbed a handful of the  
packets and moved on to another trunk. From this one she retrieved a  
wax encrusted bar of waterproofing soap.  
  
"What am I to do with these, great-grandmother?" Shampoo asked in  
confusion as the ancient woman passed the materials up to her.  
  
"Those will allow you to temporarily take the form of Phoenix People.  
Combined with the waterproofing soap, you and your fellow Amazons will  
be able to travel with our allies without slowing them down." Shampoo  
nodded her understanding."Good. Now on the way out, grab Ranma's  
sword. Tomorrow morning I will teach you how to properly harness its  
power."  
  
Shampoo grinned in anticipation. Finally she would be going into  
battle.  
  
****  
  
Author's Notes: I know that Demon is getting big, and he's going to  
be levelling off in size now, I think. Anyone remember that episode  
of Pokemon with the giant Dragonite? That's about how big Demon is  
gonna be. Ranma and Ami are pretty much irrevocably linked now, so  
that's a done deal. Does anyone think I'm taking the Ryoga/Tendo girl  
bit a little to far? In the next few chapters the valley of Jusendo  
is going to be taking the world by storm, obviously aided by magic to  
some way avoid all the nasty technological weapons we have. C&C  
welcom at dark_phoneix@hotmail.com  



	15. Chapter 14

  
Can It Get Any Worse?: Chapter 14  
  
Cologne's eyes narrowed as she examined the blue crystalline egg that  
Saffron had produced. Though not a sorceress herself, Cologne could  
feel the magical energy bound into the egg, layers upon layers of  
intricately woven force. The entire crystal was energy, energy given  
form and purpose, but energy nonetheless. What that purpose was  
remained a mystery."How is this object supposed to aide us in the  
coming war?" It would have to be something similar to the hand of the  
Goddess coming down to smite their foes, otherwise their superior  
skill and power would be totally overrun by sheer numbers and the  
amount of machinery that the Chinese and other world governments could  
throw at them.  
  
Saffron's voice was respectful as he addressed the ancient Amazon. He  
may be an immortal demi-kami, but that little old lady could very  
likely hold her own against him."It is a simple tool from the long  
dead Silver Millenium. One was placed on each inhabited world and  
through a series of spells that I am unfamiliar with, negated all  
artificial electricity and suppressed all chemical reactions explosive  
enough to power a projectile. These crystals kept the ruling family  
and its allies in power for more than a millenium, suppressing any  
development of technology that may have eventually challenged their  
power."  
  
Herb, the young Dragon Prince of the Musk Dynasty, said,"This single  
crystal, it will render all modern technology useless?" The situation  
was almost too good to be true. When the only thing that can possibly  
win you the war shows up right when you need it most, something isn't  
right.  
  
Cologne understood just how 'not right' things could quickly become.  
"Saffron, if I may be frank, why would you seek an alliance with my  
people and the Musk?"  
  
Saffron chuckled."I understand my peoples' strengths and weaknesses  
better than anyone. We have greater numbers than either of your  
peoples combined, a greater range of mobility due to our wings, and a  
higher ratio of magic weilders. Even with my power, great as it may  
be, combined with the nullifying effects of the crystal, there would  
be very little chance of a succesful military campaign within China,  
muchless the entire world. Your Musk, Herb, are all possessed of  
extraordinary abilities, some of which allow them to fight foes with  
much greater skill than themselves and still emerge victorious. Your  
power, too, is nothing to be frowned upon. The Dragon blood runs  
strong within your veins." Saffron turned to look at the  
Matriarch."The skills, powers, and magical weapons of your tribe may  
be the greatest advantage of all, though, honored elder. Your fellow  
Amazon leaders are each near the equal of Herb, and you may be my  
eqaul, if for a short time. Together we shall be unstoppable."  
  
Cologne saw the logic in the abbreviated explanation, but asked the  
relevant question."And who shall lead this new Jusendo Alliance?"  
  
"I shall, of course," Saffron answered.  
  
****  
  
We'd reached the point in our research that for a significant amount  
of recorded history, no hard copies existed. A metal bin filled with  
tiny ceramic disks, discovered by Minako as we searched for the  
missing documents, had turned out to be some kind of back-up database  
and Ami's computer was running around the clock to decode the  
information. This break in activity allowed the senshi and I, with  
Telerin tagging along, though not really wishing to, to explore our  
temporary home in more detail.  
  
Maps found in the Archive had helped tremendously in locating our  
general location on this Earth. The river that cuts through the giant  
field of grass, that's the amazon river. Yep, the one and only, the  
river that was 'supposed' to flow through the rain forests of South  
America. That was all gone, though, thanks to a mutated strain of  
bole weevil introduced to the continent by ecological terrorists.  
What they were hoping to accomplish besides destroying all kinds of  
potential cancer cures and eliminating a very large oxygen factory, I  
don't know.  
  
"Earth, your's, not mine, is similar to that of my Earth's past?"  
Telerin asked late one evening. He was really starting to integrate  
into our little group, so much so that I had observed him playing with  
some of the pokemon, the idea of which would have sent the man off  
screaming like a frightened child. He'd also participated in a few of  
the sporadic martial arts lessons I was forcing on the senshi.  
  
"Yeah," I confirmed."I can't really be too sure about some stuff,  
mostly because the time differences are still to great, but the  
geography and general culture appear to be an almost exact match. The  
differences were most likely small and insignificant. That's why it's  
hard to believe that a planet that was practically covered with humans  
and all the things we like to have around us, cars, building, etc.,  
would go down the hole like this one." Weeks of looking for some tiny  
remnant of civilization had turned up completely zilch. I would have  
been happy to find an old rusty spoon.  
  
Telerin turned a little defensive thanks to my last comment."Chicago  
may not be terribly civilized to you, Ranma, but it's all we have and  
when you come right down to the point, the last home of humans on this  
entire planet. Our way has helped us to survive for millenia and  
we'll continue to do so."  
  
I waved my hands around, trying to head of any argument."Look, Chicago  
is nice, sorta, but the Chicago I know on my Earth would completely  
overwhelm you. The thing that upsets me, though, is that the Archives  
have plans and instructions for the building and operating of most  
advanced technology. If you and your fellow Chicagotians(big shrug,  
good enough) had just tried, the whole place could have been a  
paradise when compared to its current state."  
  
The older man seemed to slump, withdrawing within himself."I know. I  
too have seen the knowledge you speak of, and I know what we are  
missing out on, but what can I do about it?"  
  
I shrugged and let that conversation lapse into silence. No sense in  
making the guy any more depressed than he already was. The ground  
beneath my feet shook slightly and I looked over to where Slammer was  
trying to teach Minoko's Geodude, a poor pokemon named Darling, how to  
create small earthquakes. My Golem noticed my attention and waved one  
of his massive stone arms in my direction. I returned the gesture and  
went looking for something to do.  
  
Something found me, in the form of Ami and Rei. They were both  
breating hard and their faces were flushed with excitement and  
exertion."Ranma," Rei called, waving her arms to get my attention.  
  
I jogged over to the girls, giving them time to catch their breath.  
"Trouble?" I asked. I'm gonna have to get one of those wrist radios  
whenever we get home, or the senshi were going to run themselves  
ragged getting in touch with me.  
  
Ami shook her head and began,"The Chancy we left at the camp with my  
computer and the disks, it signalled that my computer has found a  
match to the parameters I set it to scan for." She smiled at me, in  
triumph mostly, but the gleam in her eye told me there was more to it  
than that. She's mentioned introducing me to her mother a few times  
in the last week. I think that was somehow involved.  
  
"I just know that Grandfather is worried sick about me," Rei said."The  
others are out gathering their pokemon together now." Her hand went to  
her belt where a lonesome pokeball hung. Usagi has three eggs  
produced by her horde. Hopefully the princess will give those first  
few to Rei. The girl was just a little 'too' attached to her rat.  
  
"Couldn't Chancy be in trouble and calling for help?" I asked,  
unwilling to get everyone's hopes up for nothing.  
  
Ami shook her head."No, she didn't look worried on the communicator  
and she was waving my computer around and pointing at the indicator  
light," clarified the Senshi of Mercury. Even the pokemon get  
communicators. It's not fair. Eh, probably can't get tv signals  
anyway.  
  
"If we fly in spurts, allowing the pokemon to rest for short periods  
of time, we should be able to get back in a couple of days," I said.  
I was much more eager to get back and get the information needed to  
get us home than I let myself show. I suppose Ami could feel the  
restrained excitement, but their was no holping that, now. Without  
the power of magic coursing through my body like I had become  
accustommed to over the years, a part of my being felt withered,  
nearly dead. This world was getting to me.  
  
****  
  
Usagi flung her arms around the rotund little Chancy, picking it up  
and twirling it though the air."Thank you so much, Cinderella!" she  
exclaimed happily. Every one of her pokemon had crappy names like  
that. They didn't mind, though, so I never said anything about it.  
  
"Do you recognize this?" Ami asked Telerin, pointing to the floating  
3D image generated by her computer. The device was round and made of  
a series of metal disks, each lessening size as they neared the  
pointed top. It slowly turned on an invisible axis, giving full view  
of the symbols carved in its shining surface.  
  
Telerin nodded, a look of forboding coming across his face."It's  
embedded in the Altar of the Wings, in the main temple. That temple  
is guarded constantly, day and night, ever since an attempted break-in  
over a centruy ago."  
  
I shrugged that little inconvenience aside."Well, what are we waiting  
for? Let's go turn the dial, or whatever it is we have to do, and get  
our asses home," I suggested.  
  
"It's not as simple as that, Ranma," Ami objected."The key sequence,  
due to the immense number of possible combinations, is going to take  
my computer days, if not weeks to decipher." I knew she regretted the  
words, that didn't make me any happier.  
  
"We've waited this long, a few days won't matter."  
  
****  
  
Cologne reported the development back to the Council as soon as  
possible. They weren't happy about the demands, but they saw that to  
decline the offer would be foolish. Saffron would be in charge of the  
war to come, and he and his people would hold Asia and Europe at its  
completion. Herb had been furious and nearly to the point of throwing  
a royal temper tantrum, good sense won the day, though, and he finally  
agreed to take North America. The Amazon Nation would have plenty of  
resources and room to expand in South America and Africa. Jusendo,  
though, would retain its original borders and the areas controlled by  
each people would stay intact.  
  
Cologne and the other Elders didn't expect reace to last long between  
the three factions once the war was over, but that situation would  
have to be attended to at a later date. A much later date. They were  
looking at several decades of genocide as it was, therewas no need to  
plan for more.  
  
Leaving the Council Chamber that night, Cologne passed the training  
field where the first group of warriors that would soon be departing  
practiced. Her great-granddaughter stood far apart from the others,  
the mystic sword created by Ranma held before her. Cologne stopped to  
watch her heir.  
  
Shampoo's face tightened and a mask of concentration slipped across  
it. Then, in a blur, the girl's arm whipped out, passing the sword  
through the air several times, all the while alternating its blade  
from hot to cold. In a handful of moments a gale force wind erupted  
in front of the Amazon, followed almost immediately by a cyclone that  
grew from a pencil thin mass of swirling air, to a three foot wide  
conflaguration. With deft movements, Shampoo directed the cyclone,  
forcing it to slowly lower itself until the deadly attack was  
paralledl with the ground.  
  
Sweat soaked and panting, Shampoo halted the continuous amaguriken  
speed sword strokes, causing the cyclone to rapidly dissipate.  
Whistles and cheers greeted the young warrior, courtest of her  
fellows. With a smile, Cologne departed. She knew that her great-  
granddaughter could just as easily have created a tornado a hundred  
times that size.  
  
At her doorstep, a thought struck her. If they could find Ranma and  
enlist his aide, his weapons alone could end the coming conflict years  
sooner. His repore(spelling is wrong, I know, but I don't feel like  
using the spellchecker) with demons, abominable as the creatures were,  
could also prove extremely valuable.  
  
Maybe she should send Shampoo on a separate mission. She and Ranma  
had been close during his stay in the village and the relationship, as  
one sided as it had been, was a close enough link, that the girl could  
successfully scry him.  
  
****  
  
Demon came flying into the camp, well as close as something his size  
can manage, early the second morning after we had returned at  
Darling's request. The giant pokemon had finally ceased growing, at  
least noticeably, and had even learned to drain the life and energy  
from the surrounding grassland, sharply reducing his daily food  
intake.  
  
Today, however, he had something large and furry clasped in his  
enormous fist. As he lumbered to me, I caught sight of a yellow  
furred head, a head belong to a species of feline demon that I had  
once had a run in with. Demon dropped the groaning demon at my feet  
and said,"No anmaal." He gently nudged it with his foot, the claws  
thankfully sheathed."Likez prrrsun." With a shrug of massive  
shoulders, he hunched down and waited for my examination.  
  
I guess he wanted me to tell him whether he could eat the thing. I  
looked up at him and said,"Sorry, buddy, but these aren't food." He  
looked regretful and was about to go hunt, mostly for fun, when I  
asked,"Did you see any more like this?"  
  
Demon nodded."Thhot wrayy," he said, pointing south, toward the  
forest. I'll be damned, demons, here. Telerin'd told me that there  
hadn't been a demon sighting in over a millenium. I jumped up, barely  
reaching Demon's shoulde,r and scratched him behind his ear. His purr  
made the ground tremble.  
  
"You did good, Demon. Let's wake this guy up and see what he has to  
say for himself." I retrieved a bucket of water from the river and  
poured it on the demon. We didn't hae anything that could properly  
bind a creature of its physical strength, not that Demon nor I would  
have any trouble with this pathetic creature.  
  
Cats don't like getting wet, and this one wasn't an exception. It  
came awake with a YOWL, which promptly became a scream of bestial fear  
when the first sight it saw was Demon, sitting cross-legged with his  
chin resting in the palms of his hands. I reached over and grabbed  
the demon's shoulder, careful not to badly startle it and possibly  
lose my arm.  
  
"Don't worry, he won't hurt you," I told the demon. It turned around  
and was hit full force by my demonic prescence. Most demons of this  
species would have positively delighted in torturing me for days, but  
this one just grinned and extended its furry hand. He probably  
thought I was a shapeshifter in human form.  
  
"That'sss one hell of a pet you got there," it commented. He swept an  
appreciative glance over Demon now that he knew the larger than life  
pokemon wouldn't attack him.  
  
"It's more of a mentor/child relationship," I shrugged."Anyway, what  
in Hell are you doing on this piece of shit world?" Demons are by  
their nature innately magic, so even being on a magically deviant  
world like this one would be painful and over time, debilitating.  
  
It growled."My brothersss and I were trapped here nearly a full moon  
ago. And you?" I could see a few patches of fur that had begun to  
become discolored and others where the fur was thinning and would soon  
fall out completely. Staying here was hitting this guy harder than I  
would have expected.  
  
"My friends and I were transported to another plane. In attempting to  
reach our home, we have become trapped here. We may have found a way  
to unlock the spell that keeps our magic bound and will soon be  
travelling home. You and your brothers are welcome to replenish your   
energy if we succeed," I told him. The girls probably wouldn't like it,   
especially since these weren't the kinds of demons that minded their   
own business and worked nine to five jobs. Speaking of the girls."My   
friends are all human, and female, by the way. Don't get any ideas,   
though," I warned."Blood magic won't work here any better than any other   
kind, and if one of them were harmed, well that would be bad for your   
entire race."  
  
It bowed, not even attempting to dispute my demands. It's not hard to  
see why the demons that come to this Earth always try to attack  
Chicago. Eventually they must feel the forces centered around the  
floating city and attempt to seize it, for their very survival. Oh  
boy, Telerin wasn't going to like this. Maybe I could pass the demons  
off as pokemon...  
  
****  
  
The girls hadn't got back from their dip in the river by the time that  
the demon, whom I now know to be named Hersh, and I, via Demon,  
departed for the cave that Hersh's fellow demons were living in.  
  
"So, who's the Demon Lord on your plane?" I asked. FYI, that's always  
a good question to break the ice with the denizens of Hell.  
  
"Xochial," Hersh answered."He isn't going to be happy that we have  
been gone so long." Xochial is one of the first demons to ever teach  
me any magic and he is the original owner of the athame I now use. I  
hadn't seen him in a few years.  
  
"How is Xochial doing?" I asked. Demon Lords can travel between  
dimensions pretty easily thanks to the thin barriers between realities  
that exist within Hell. Every dimension has a single Demon Lord as its  
main bad guy. He, she, or it, is more powerful on this plane and all  
demons native to it obey that demon without question. Most Demon  
Lords stay on their own plane where they're nearly(and I mean that the  
universe almost has to be destroyed to take them out) immortal, but  
Xochial and the Dark Prince(nope, don't know his name, but it's  
probably something stupid like Escobar) are friends and drop by to  
exchange pleasantries every so often.  
  
Hersh looked at me funny and asked,"You know my Lord?"  
  
"Yeah, he practically raised me for a couple years. Taught me all  
kinds of neat stuff." I flicked my wrist and my athame appeared in my  
hand."He gave me this when I turned thirteen." The vorpal blade was  
almost as indestructable as Xochial himself, and when the proper  
magical energy existed, I could summon at will nearly any demon from  
his realm of my choosing.  
  
Hersh's eyes widened as he took in the sight of my simple athame. In  
a single movement full of feline grace, he prostrated himself across  
Demon's arm and reverently asked,"Oh, he who is like a son to my Lord  
and Master, please allow Hersh to serve you?"  
  
Wow. To say the least. I reached down and pulled the demon to his  
feet."None of that, man." It's nice to know that Xochial cares so much  
for me, a mere human."We're all friends here, right?"  
  
Hersh nodded his head violently enough to make his semi-stiff cat ears  
flop around wildly."Yes, yes of course."  
  
"Well then, since you see it my way, let's find your brothers and see  
if we can't get you home. I owe Xochial a lot and this may help to  
even things out a little."  
  
****  
  
Author's Notes: Nothing has really happened that was too important to  
Ranma and the gang in the last few chapters, but they go home next  
chapter, with an army of pokemon and cat demons at their back. Won't  
that be fun? I know that the war being planned by the inhabitants of  
Jusendo seems a bit hard to pull of, but consider, the world will be  
in chaos. No technology of any kind more advanced than pre-gun powder  
Europe in a world almost completely dependent on the modern  
conveniences. The Amazons, Musk(who for the purposes of this story  
number in the thousands and not three), and Phoenix Peoples just have  
to come through and slaughter the tattered ruins of civilization and  
maybe the occassional group of organized people that manages to pull  
itself together.  
  
Send C&C to dark_phoneix@hotmail.com  



	16. Chapter 15

  
Can It Get Any Worse?: Chapter 15  
  
Hersh's brothers were in full battle armor when Demon dropped us off  
at the rocky clearing at the mouth of their cave. They must have been  
preparing to mount a rescue mission for Demon's latest catch. To  
their credit, the demons didn't even run away as Demon came into view.  
It was understandable, though, that they would draw their weapons and  
spread out into a loose formation that wouldn't hamper their ability  
to haul ass if the need arose.  
  
Hersh sprinted to the pack leader, a tall black cat demon with shaggy  
black fur and a blood red chain mail shirt. They exchanged several  
hisses and growls, what passed for a language, I guess, then the big  
black demon slowly approached me, his three inch claws fully withdrawn  
in a show of peace.  
  
He bowed his head slightly and said,"We are at your ssservice, Lord  
Ranma." Well, this was just getting better and better. The guy was at  
least seven feet tall and out massed me by a good fifty kilograms, but  
he hadn't attempted to challenge my status as interim leader.  
  
We exchanged pleasantries, a few old war stories, and finally got down  
to business. I informed the leader of the coming escape attempt and  
invited him and his brothers to join us. The same no harming the  
girls policy was in effect, and they couldn't bother the pokemon, for  
their own health.  
  
"I'm going to have to go ahead of you and smooth things over with the  
girls," I told Squirm, the pack leader. I won't even begin to  
elaborate on how he got that nickname."They're the Sailor Senshi and  
don't really like demons too much. I have a lot of influence over  
them, though, so just behave and they'll leave you and your brothers  
alone." The pack of demons had been getting their gear together while  
we talked and they all waited at the cave mouth for further  
instructions.  
  
Squirm didn't like fraternizing with the enemy much at all. He was an  
intelligent demon, though, and saw that there was little alternative,  
and besides, he had to obey my every command."I'm gonna leave Slammer  
behind. He's a sort of rock demon and will be able to lead you and  
your packmates to my camp."  
  
I unpacked my Golem and gave him his marching orders. He nodded, as  
much as a semi-rigid boulder can nod, and walked over to look at the  
demons. He'd never seen real ones before so he was curious. The cat  
demons obviously respected, or at least feared Slammer, lowering their  
eyes whenever his gaze met theirs.  
  
****  
  
No one was happy, especially Telerin, when I made my announcement.  
Rei the most vocal of all, threatened to unlease Ratty on the demons  
if they got within a mile of her. I had to laugh as that comment, I  
couldn't help it, sending the temple maiden off in a huff of rage. I  
ignored Telerin, his face a pale as a ghost. He would just have to  
deal with it or he could go home.  
  
"Ranma, it's too dangerous to bring that many demons here," insisted  
Makoto. I knew otherwise. The demons were all weak and fading faster  
by the day. Makoto's meager martial arts skill could probably have  
allowed her to take out a half dozen of the felines before they  
swarmed her. With the pokemon, no worries.  
  
"Don't sweat it," I retorted."They're weak and we have all these  
pokemon, including Demon," that's saying a lot,"and myself. If by  
some freak occurence of nature, the demons did turn on us, they  
wouldn't live to regret it. That's not a problem, though. These are  
servants of a friend of mine. They sorta know of me by reputation and  
will obey my every command." It took a little more insisting on the  
girls' part, and a lot of begging to get Ami to have anything to do  
with me that night, a man can get used to certain things after a  
while, but they eventually conceded to give my 'friends' a chance.  
  
Slammer, a long line of cat demons trailing behind, arrived at the  
trampled down area of grass that I like to think of as home. The  
giant rock had a little spring in his step and a twinkle in his  
diamond coated eye. I decided to let him stay out in the open for a  
while. Being out of his pokeball was doing him a lot of good. I'd  
let Gyrados out later and let him have a few days to relax in the  
river and gorge himself on fish.  
  
Squirm sought me out immediately. He was most impressed by Slammer's  
destructive abilities and wished to know where he could get one of his  
own. I told him I didn't know the exact planar coordinates, but did  
give him a general idea of where PokeWorld was. If they ever do run  
across PokeWorld, the demons are probably going to have more trouble  
not getting caught as pokemon than anything else.  
  
I was going to have to have a talk with Slammer and find out how  
Squirm knew of his pokemon powers."Get you brothers settled in and  
I'll introduce you to the girls." They were waiting for an all clear  
signal a couple kilometers into the grass. The precaution had been  
mostly for Telerin's sake. The girls just went along to make sure the  
guy didn't do anything stupid.  
  
****  
  
"This will help me to find Ranma?" Shampoo asked. In her hand she  
held a large glass bead slightly larger than her thumb. From within  
the trasparent bead, faint pulses of light, yellow and green, came  
intermitently and it gave of an soft warmth.  
  
"Yes, child. Once you leave the confines of this valley and its  
various mystic wards, the Orb will guide your to Ranma Saotome. Trust  
your instincts because they are what the Orb works with. You have a  
month," finished Cologne. They both knew what happened in a month.  
The first attacks would begin in a few days, but they would be night  
raids, carried out in secret and designed to destroy supply and ammo  
dumps so that when Saffron's artifact was put into use, its effects  
would be magnified by the internal chaos already present within the  
Chinese Republican Army. A month and the crystal egg would be  
shattered, throwing the Earth into an artificial, century long dark  
age.  
  
"I won't fail, great-grandmother," assured Shampoo. Across her back,  
its pommel covered to conceal the burning light within the giant ruby  
and the ruby itself, rested Ranma's sword. Shampoo's status had  
increased enormously thanks to her prowess with the magical blade and  
her ability to summon and control winds greater than even her great-  
grandmother.  
  
"Be well then and return safely," Cologne said in parting. She took  
to her staff and was gone from Shampoo's sensory range within moments.  
  
  
"Well Shampoo old girl, your finally out on your own," the young  
warrior commented to herself. The narrow mountain pass that led into  
China proper, wasn't far ahead and if she pushed herself, she would be  
able to reach it before nightfall.  
  
****  
  
Shampoo found Mousse waiting for her as she reached the almost  
unnoticeable crevice formed by a fault in the surrounding mountains  
that led into China. The Hidden Weapons Master had always been more  
of a nuisance than a friend, especially during the short time that  
Ranma had stayed with the tribe. Ranma had done something to the boy,  
though, fixed his eyes with magic. From then on, Mousse had been like  
love starved puppy, following Ranma around the village constantly. He  
hadn't even taken offense when it became public knowledge that Shampoo  
had been bedding the foreign sorceror.  
  
Once Ranma left, though, Mousse had returned his full attention to  
Shampoo. She couldn't even deny forming a relationship with him  
because of his poor eye sight, not since Ranma fixed it. Not only was  
he persistent, Mousse was also a skilled warrior, a very skilled  
warrior when his eye sight improved. Shampoo had worried that Mousse  
would challenge her for marriage and quite possibly win the fight.  
That hadn't happened. Now what was the young man doing?  
  
"Shampoo, is it true that you leave to seek Ranma?" Mousse asked, his  
voice was oddly serious, none of its normal obsequiousness present.  
  
"Yes. Great-grandmother and Council of Elders wish to bring Ranma to  
our side before the war starts. He is a powerful sorceror and warrior  
who would give the Amazon Nation several advantages." Shampoo feared  
that Mousse may have chosen this time to challenge her, thereby  
delaying her mission to find Ranma to the point where to attempt it  
would be useless.  
  
Mousse nodded and stood, taking his weight off the rock wall."I shall  
accompany you, then." The former blind boy had a canvas travelling  
pack at his side. The only reason he wouldn't keep it in the warped  
space within his robes where he stored his weapons was if it contained  
food, something which spoiled quickly in the unstable space.  
  
"Mousse," Shampoo warned,"Ranma is a powerful warrior-"  
  
Mousse interrupted,"And nearly invincible as a sorceror. I know that,  
Shampoo, and I have no wish to harm him. I owe Ranma more than you  
can imagine and if my aide will bring him to the safety of the village  
before the war throws the world into chaos, then I would risk my life  
to see it through." He spoke as a warrior, one of the greatest in the  
village, not as a love starved freak. Shampoo nodded, and silently,  
they passed from Jusendo, a tiny refuge of magic and martial arts, to  
China, the sprawling and overcrowded nation that would soon learn to  
fear the Amazons of old.  
  
****  
  
Haruka and Michiru, lesbian senshi extraordinaire, were shopping at an  
adult book store, very discreetly, when something exploded outside,  
throwing chunks of shrapnel and asphault through the blacked-out  
windows of the store. Haruka threw down the double dildo she had been  
examining and reflexively dived for Michiru, knocking the girl out of  
the path of a burning rubber women.  
  
"We've got to transform!" Michiru shouted over the clamour. Haruka  
nodded her agreement and they pulled out their henshin rods. A few  
seconds later, Sailor Neptune and Uranus were in the street. The  
pedestrians of Juuban, by now well aware of the daily threat posed by  
exploding objects and energy hungry creatures from other dimensions,  
had cleared the area in record time.  
  
Warily, the duo approached the large crater that had formed in the  
center of the four-lane street. The flying debris had stopped flying  
by now, and they could easily see the metallic sphere that rested  
within the crater. What was it? An invader from beyond? Martians?  
  
The sphere split in half like an egg and the two senshi gasped at what  
they saw. Another senshi. Her fuku was silver, to match her shiny  
silver hair, and the bows and body suit were a mixture of blue and  
black. The woman stood up, stretching regally, and her face became  
clear to the senshi. Wow, she was hot! And she sorta looked like  
Setsuna.  
  
"You two," the new senshi snapped, finally opening her eyes,"what has  
my bratty little sister screwed up now?" She rose from the crater,  
floated over the bubbling asphault at the edge of the crater, and  
landed lightly beside Uranus and Neptune.  
  
Haruka and Michiru didn't answer immediately, too busy oggling the new  
arrival. Finally, Michiru got enough sense back to ask,"W-who's your  
sister?" She knew the question was a waste of breath. This woman's  
sister absolutely had to Setsuna.  
  
The senshi rolled her eyes."Setsuna Meiou, Sailor Pluto, Guardian of  
the Time portion of the Gates of Time and Space(um, hey Carrot, got  
that idea from Insertion, just now catching up on it and hope you  
don't mind)," she answered. Setsuna's sister gestured with her left  
hand and a smooth shaft of unadorned metal appeared in the air above  
her. She snatched the object from the air and said,"Nevermind. Since  
you two halfwits can't stop staring at my breasts, I'll just have to  
see for myself." The Senshi of Space rapped the end of her staff on  
the ground and a hole of the purest black appeared beneath the three  
senshi.  
  
****  
  
Sailor Neptune and Sailor Uranus clung to each other in gibbering  
terror as they slowly rose from the floor, alongside the Senshi of  
Space. They were in the general vicinity of the Time Gates, as  
indicated by the eerie lack of natural light and the perpetual  
waterless mist that covered everything.  
  
"She never was very original," Setsuna's sister said. With a wave of  
her arm the mists parted and the three senshi got an eyeful of  
Setsuna, now about three hundred and fifty pounds heavier than the  
last time they had seen her, shooting up a hit of heroine. The  
garbage surrounding the Senshi of Time's sofa, if that's what the  
thing was, had reached near mountainous proportions and absolutely  
reeked.  
  
"By the All Mighty's Sacred Jewels!" the new senshi roared."Setsuna,  
what in Hell happened to you?!" She began pointing her staff at  
garbage heaps, causing each one to disappear into nothingness,  
followed shortly by the tv, refridgerator, and the sofa that sumo-  
Setsuna had been occupying.  
  
Setsuna fell to the floor with a squeal not unlike that of a stuck  
pig, and looked at her three guests in illdisguised horror. She  
stared at her sister for about three seconds, then covered her grimy  
face with equally grimy hands and began crying softly.  
  
"Ah geeze, little sister, you know how long it took you to lose all  
the weight last time," sighed the Senshi of Space. She turned to the  
other two senshi and said,"Here, have fun." She waved her staff and  
another hole opened beneath the girls, swallowing them into the void.  
  
"Oh, Katya, it's so horrible, I..." And Setsuna launched into a full  
recounting of everything that had happened since she'd contacted  
Ranma, leaving out only some of the more embarassing curses."And now  
they're gone, gone from the time stream as if they never existed!" she  
wailed as a closing to the story.  
  
Katya shook her head and chuckled."Little sister, leave it to you to  
never consider the obvious." Setsuna had always been a brilliant  
child, and so Temporally grounded that the Time currents couldn't even  
hope to effect her, but she was stubborn, short-sighted, and as  
arrogant as any ten queens.  
  
"How can you laugh about this?" Setsuna whined."The senshi and the  
Princess are gone! Crystal Tokyo will never be! All is lost!!!  
Wah!!!!" Katya patted her distressed sibling on her back, lightly so  
as not to get anything of questionable sanitary origin on her gloves.  
  
"If the girls are not within your domain, then they are within mine,"  
Katya answered."Ranma, from your description, could likely open a  
dimensional portal. If he was as powerful as you say, and was  
attempting to close a breached tomb, he could easily have misdirected  
some of that energy and unwittingly opened a portal to another plane."  
The fact that her sister hadn't even considered this possibility was a  
good enough reason for Katya to believe Setsuna was in serious need of  
a vacation. The roundabout attempt on Ranma's life while he was  
nothing but a child said that her little sister needed psychiatric  
help.  
  
What was really bad about the situation, though, was that Ranma was  
probably innocent of trying to corrupt the senshi. He might have been  
a little rough around the edges, thanks to his demonic upbringing, but  
he'd been relatively civil and his instruction of the senshi had been  
top rate, even going so far as finding the princess's mindblock and  
having it removed. The curses may have been a little over the top,  
but Setsuna had deserved it, sorta. You just don't manipulate someone  
into a situation where they have to change genders to fulfill a blood  
pact.  
  
Setsuna looked up, hope lighting her eyes from within. The tears she  
had shed made oily tracks in the dirt and bits of food that covered  
her face.  
  
****  
  
"Okay, you and your brothers can have the guards," I told Squirm.  
"Just don't let the senshi hear them scream, okay?" Squirm nodded  
eagerly."They get kinda offended by that kind of thing." Not that I  
liked the idea, but some of the cat demons were at the point of  
starvation, and when a being has to eat, it has to eat. There were no  
alternatives.  
  
Ami and the other senshi were turning the enormous combination lock  
into a position that would free up enough energy for us to escape to  
our home. The hundred and forty-nine metal disks had to be perfectly  
aligned and it was taking time. Telerin, careful not to look directly  
at any of the demons that were now quietly streaming into the streets  
of Chicago to feast on the incapacitated guards, walked over to me and  
said,"There are only three disks left to align. Ami says that you  
should be able to begin gathering energy in less than a minute."  
  
I nodded and stepped into the ring of light generated by one of the  
spell constructs that hung from enormous chains embedded in the  
temple's ceiling. I wasn't taking any chances. I had the Silver  
Imperium Crystal in my pocket and was going to use the first of the  
energy I absorbed to key the crystal into my aura. If I'd done that  
sooner, we wouldn't have been in this mess.  
  
"All right, Ranma!" Makoto shouted. I felt as much as heard the  
metallic click emitted by the key structure. The crystal above me,  
glowing blue and white, suddenly began to pulse and the energy began  
to flow. I sucked the energy from the air as fast as it was produced,  
all the while keying Usagi's crystal for my use.  
  
My energy capacitance is vast, and with it completely drained, I took  
almost two minutes to reach my storage limit. I signalled to the  
senshi and stepped out of the beam of raw, concentrated energy. Usagi  
was the next to bathe in the flow. I didn't see who came after her,  
since I ran out to Squirm and said,"Get your spell-casters cleaned up  
and I'll take them to recharge."  
  
The three demons that followed me into the temple were old for their  
species and one of them had the mange, I think. Ami was just stepping  
out of the beam of energy as we entered. I had the demon sorcerors to  
wait for Rei once Ami was finished then gave them the go ahead.  
  
They didn't take but a few seconds each, not because any of them were  
particularly weak, but because all demons naturally learn spells as  
they age and such natural magic is very efficient. For these three to  
be able to travel dimensionally, they had to be 'old'.  
  
****  
  
"Tell Xochial that I may pay him a visit sometime soon, now that I've  
got this planar travel thing worked out," I said to Squirm. He and  
his fellow demons were travelling back to their master's realm and I  
didn't think the girls, or myself, much cared to see the ritual that  
would open the protal they would use.  
  
"Squirm owess hisss life and that of his packmatess to Ranma and hisss  
femalesss. If you ever need my help, the Master'sss blade will call  
me. Farewell." I shook the demon's hand and jogged over to Demon. My  
enormous pokemon was lazily chewing on a car sized boulder when I  
arrived. He swallowed his midday snack hurriedly, and held his hand  
out to me.  
  
****  
  
"You sure?" I asked. Telerin was dead set on coming with us. I  
didn't mind really, but I had some concerns about his ability to adapt  
to a culture so unlike that of Chicago.  
  
Telerin nodded."My life here is not anything special. I would much  
rather travel to your world and learn of my ancestors." I had to agree  
with him. His life really had sucked here on this backward Earth.  
  
"You'll have to get a job," I told him. He shrugged."Well, I guess  
you can stay with me, if the apartment is still mine." I really  
doubted that one. Then again, time flows differently between  
universes. We could arrive at home and find that three seconds has  
gone by, or just as likely have missed three thousand years. Oh well,  
anything was better than this shit hole.  
  
The preparations had been made and I'd gotten a serviceable mirror  
from one of Squirm's sorcerors, so we would be leaving soon. I'd  
absorbed and magically linked my crystal and Usagi's(it mine now, ha  
ha ha) and absorbed them into my body. Hey, it may be paranoid, but  
Setsuna's abilities aren't fully known to me and she could have  
figured out when we would be returning. I was just making sure I was  
prepared to defend against anything she could possibly throw at me.  
  
"I just know Mom will love you," Ami said as she came up behind  
me."She may try to claw your eyes out for a few minutes, but once  
she's calmed down, we'll be able to explain things to her and  
everything will be fine" Oh great, very reassuring.  
  
"That's nice," I lied. I knew she knew it. It's not like I had ever  
expected to have to meet the parents of the girl I'd been screwing for  
the last few months. I felt Ami's ire rise and began thinking happy  
thoughts and some more naughty ones. Whew, disaster averted.  
  
"And I arranged this one special, just for Shingo," Usagi was saying  
to Minako."It's a Charmander egg. Won't he just love that?" Oh crap.  
She was already making plans. Her brother would probably blow up  
their house or something if he had a fire pokemon. You can't expect a  
child to act responsibly when he has access to a living weapon of  
destruction.  
  
"Shingo is a good kid," Ami commented after reading my thought."He  
might burn the carpet a little, but that's about it." We shared a  
laugh and went about gathering senshi for the trip home.  
  
****  
  
Author's Notes: I said they would be going home this chapter, sorry,  
plans sorta changed. They'll be arriving back on Earth at the  
beginning of the next, though, and that's when the shit's gonna hit  
tha fan. What side will Ranma and the senshi take in the coming war?  
I'm not sure yet. Will Setsuna regain her figure? Maybe in a decade  
or three. Anyway, C&C on how to proceed from here on would be nice.  
E-mails that just tell me that you like the story and hope I write  
more of it are cool, and they do fuel my ego just a bit, everybody  
likes to be praised, but real input is what I need now.  
  
C&C me at dark_phoneix@hotmail.com  
  
Later!  



	17. Chapter 16

  
Can It Get Any Worse?: Chapter 16  
  
I was the last to step through portal, right after Telerin. If  
something went wrong, I didn't want any of the girls trapped here  
without anything but pokemon as company.  
  
The portal deposited me on a huge area of brown and yellowish stone  
that looked as if it had been ground down and polished to a mirror  
sheen. This was where the mountain had been that had been transported  
us to the first world. There was a twenty foot high chain link and  
razor wire fence surrounding the entire surface. The government  
hiding their screw ups, I guess.  
  
"Wow, if this got wet, we could slide around forever. Wouldn't that  
be fun!" That was Usagi. As jubilant as ever, she may be, but that  
little idea she'd just spun out of the wide open expanse that is her  
mind could actually be profitable. The government wouldn't sale,  
anyway.  
  
"Yeah, Usagi, that would be fun," I answered her."But right now, we  
should probably be getting back and seeing if everyone thanks that  
we're dead. If we've been gone long enough for a fence that size to  
be put up..." I left it hanging, knowing she could finish the concept.  
  
"Oh no! My parents must think I'm dead!!! Wah!!! I bet Shingo took  
my room!!! Who's been feeding Luna?! Waaaahhh!!!" We all watched  
Usagi run around in circles, pulling wads of her own hair out and  
occassionally slipping on the smooth surface below.  
  
"We might all be dead, legally, I mean," Makoto said cheerfully. She  
didn't have any parents to worry about so the idea must have been  
pretty novel to her."My apartment was paid off for six months when we  
left, so it should still be there."  
  
I just stepped back and let the senshi worry themselves sick about  
what their parents thought, how much makeup work they would have from  
school, that was a big one for Ami, and all kinds of little stuff.  
Usagi for instance, declared that she was going to break her ice cream  
consumption record everyday of the week for a month.  
  
"Anyway," I said loudly,"we should be getting back now. I'm sure that  
there are people who want to see you and we really shouldn't wait  
around here for some of those commandoes to come after us. We were  
working for the government when a mountain, along with us, vanished.  
They probably covered it up and made everything out to be one big  
accident." Oh let them try, just let them try. I was itching for a  
chance to loose my power on something and in the process blow it up.  
  
Minako rose into the air slowly, as if unsure whether or not the spell  
would work."This feels great!" she exclaimed."I didn't realize how  
boring life can be without magic!" That degenerated into a match of  
airborne tag, somehow. I let myself be brought into the game just for  
a chance to chase Ami around for a couple minutes.  
  
Finally, and this was like two hours after we'd gotten home, I managed  
to convince the girls that we should be leaving. With her magic back  
to full strength, Usagi was able to store all of her pokeballs in a  
spatial pocket and eliminate any need for us all to split the burden.  
I'm going to have to get Ami to show me how to make one of those  
pockets someday. The senshi each have one naturally. It's not fair.  
  
"You can't let your pokemon out to play either, Usagi," Rei warned.  
Her two new pokemon eggs hadn't hatched, but already her attitude was  
improving. Amazing. She had a point. Most of our pokemon would  
appear demonic to the citizens of Juuban, who had endured years of  
silly looking demons and daemons. My Demon would cause a city wide  
panic and probably warrant an attack by the Bible Rangers.  
  
Hmmm, maybe Demon could make an appearance afterall. I could have him  
wonder around Tokyo eating trees and cars and as soon as the Bible  
Rangers showed up, he could roast them alive in their robot. Yes, I  
think I will. That way my good deed for the century will be taken  
care of.  
  
****  
  
Katya led her sister, a much cleaner, though still obese, over to the  
Gates of Time and Space. The Senshi of Time's uniform had been  
mystically tailored so that the ruffles and bows managed to hide most  
of the rolls, but the green-haired senshi was still looking like  
something of a rolly polly.  
  
Katya looked at the simple ring of metal and frowned. She pulled a  
hanky from thin air and spit on it, then began buffing a small panel  
at the top of the ring that had become tarnished. It'd read 'Gates of  
Time', but when Katya finished and moved back, the panel said 'Gates  
of Time and Space'."Little sister, couldn't you have at least kept the  
thing clean?" The Senshi of Space asked.  
  
Setsuna shrugged, setting three of her chins to bobbing."I didn't  
think you had been reincarnated. If the other senshi had seen that,  
they would have asked unpleasant questions." Setsuna had really just  
wanted all trace of her sister gone from her sight. Katya had always  
been prettier, better in every way, and all the nobles had always  
asked her to dance. Setsuna couldn't help that she had an attitude  
problem. It ran in the family. But 'Katya' hadn't gotten that  
particular Meiou trait, no, she was too good for an attitude.  
  
Katya sighed."I suppose that makes sense. Now that I'm back, though,  
we should be able to find our missing senshi." Katya made her silver  
staff appear and tapped the edge of the ring, realigning her powers  
with the Space half of the Gates of Time and Space.  
  
Setsuna glowered at her sister's back. Why did Katya get the  
impressive staff, while she was stuck with a giant key with a heart on  
it?  
  
"I'll just start by perusing through the nearer dimensions. They are  
most similar to our own plane and more likely to draw accidental  
travellers," Katya said.  
  
Leave it to her older sister to just barge in and ruin everything.  
Ranma 'had' taken the senshi, Ranma 'was' evil, and Ranma 'must' die!  
The answer came to an unasked question came to Setsuna then. Katya  
was being manipulated just like she had. That must be it! Well,  
she'd show her sister, she'd show her who was the better woman.  
  
"This may take a while," Katya told her gently."If you want, you can  
sit down." That much weight must be killing her ankles.  
  
****  
  
The key still unlocked the door to my apartment and my stuff was still  
there. I hadn't expected any of the food in the fridge to be good,  
but the soft drinks I'd left in it were fine. I passed them out to  
the senshi and said,"You can't just go up to your parents and say,  
'Hey look, I'm alive!'. That would be bad. There would be heart  
attacks and stuff like that."  
  
Ami asked,"How should we break the news? I don't like sitting here  
when I know my Mom is nearby and believes me to be dead." Ami's mom  
sounded like a nice lady from what she'd told me, but I didn't want to  
be the one held responsible for her daughter's disappearance.  
  
"How much do you care about your secret identities?" I asked. My idea  
would work, if and only if the girls let their parents in on their  
little secret.  
  
"You're not serious?" Rei snapped. What's her problem? Her  
grandfather already knew that she was Sailor Mars.  
  
I shrugged."Why not? They're bound to find out someday. Hell, they  
may know now." Adults aren't stupid, they just have problems seeing  
the world around them sometimes. Besides, the government(I'm really  
starting to hate that word) could have broke the news and used it as  
an excuse to exonerate themselves of responsibility.  
  
"It's fine with me," Makoto shrugged. Ha ha, real funny.  
  
"Ranma, you haven't really been raised by normal human beings," Ami  
said gently. "Parents try to protect their children from harm. I know  
that my Mom would do everything in her power to stop me from being a  
senshi. She's just overprotective." She had a point. Demons did tend  
to live more for the moment and future existance be damned, but I knew  
where she was coming from. The short time I'd spent with my own  
Mother had had its share of arguments and lectures related to my way  
of life.  
  
"How can they stop you?" I asked."I don't mean for you to attack your  
parents." Geeze, they'd all got that impending violence look in their  
eyes."We'll just explain how the world needs you and tell them that  
lots and lots of people will die without your help. Usagi, you being  
a princess might help some too."  
  
Now that I'd introduced a way for them to guilt trip their parents  
into letting them be superheroes, the senshi got all excited and  
wanted to get started. Teenage girls sure can change their minds  
fast.  
  
****  
  
(This takes place a couple days before Ranma and the gang get back to  
Earth)  
  
With the help of the one use Phoenix Person curse packets that Cologne  
had given to Shampoo, and some duck ones that Mousse had 'borrowed'(no  
one really used the duck ones anyway), the pair of Amazons reached the  
Chinese coast within a week. After resting and taking a short amount  
of time to get a bearing from the Orb, a duck and a winged Shampoo set  
out for Japan.  
  
Shampoo couldn't get enough of flying and the personal freedom it  
brought her. She also liked being able to talk to birds. They were a  
scittish, airheaded lot, but they were always so happy and the way  
they talked about their babies and nests brought a smile to the  
serious amazon's face. She could even talk to Mousse in his duck  
form.  
  
"Shampoo no speak stupid language good," the winged Amazon told her  
companion in Japanese.  
  
In duckish, Mousse said,"If we are to move around in Japan well enough  
to find Ranma, we must be able to speak the language. I can't always  
translate for you." Mousse wasn't flying alongside his love, instead  
he was held tightly in her arms, right against her generous bosom.  
Mousse's little wings simply couldn't keep up with Shampoo's. He  
didn't care. He was in heaven.  
  
"Shampoo know that stu-," She stopped."Damnit, I can not speak  
Japanese. It makes me sound like a complete idiot. I don't know how  
you learned it. Stupid language for a stupid people," Shampoo  
grumbled."With the exception of Ranma. Being raised by Hell beasts  
must have burnt the dumbness out of him."  
  
Mousse did the equivalent of a duck growl."Ranma was never a dumb  
beast!" he exclaimed."Ranma is a great and powerful sorceror."  
  
Shampoo patted the duck on his head and said,"Of course, Mousse,  
whatever you say."  
  
****  
  
Usagi's parents were the first of the adults to arrive at my  
apartment. They looked depressed and I could feel the emotion  
bubbling beneath the surface of their thoughts. They wanted to know  
what I had called them for, who I was, and all kinds of other crap. I  
just told them that others would soon be arriving and that it would be  
easier to explain once and not have to answer the same questions  
repeatedly. I had wanted to tell them individually, but the girls had  
out-voted me and since they were the backbone of the plan, I had to go  
along with them.  
  
Minako's dad knocked on the door a few minutes later. He explained  
that his wife was out of the country on business and then followed the  
Tsuniko pattern pretty closely. I gave him the run around and turned  
him loose to talk with Usagi's parents.  
  
Ami's mother wasn't very happy being called in the middle of a shift  
at the hospital, but the urgency I had expressed got her attention  
enough to see what I had to say. Ms. Mizuno was an older version of  
Ami, still very attractive and looking younger than her forty odd  
years. It's good to know that Ami will still be hot in a thousand  
years.  
  
Grandfather Hino was the last to arrive, and he was a little cheerier  
than I had expected. Then again, he was a partially trained sorceror  
himself. He might have felt Rei's prescence and figured out what was  
about to happen. Lot of wasted potential there.  
  
"Okay," I said to the little gathering. They were arranged around my  
living room and Minako's dad had been flipping through the porn  
channels on my tv when he thought no one was watching. I reminded  
myself to tell Minako about that."I appreciate you all being able to  
make it here tonight and the reason for the secrecy will soon become  
apparent." Well, I haven't hosted very many secret identity coming out  
parties before. You can't expect me to be good at it.  
  
"Could you get on with it, please?" Ms. Mizuno asked. I got the  
distinct impression that she had thrown herself into her work to take  
her mind off of her daughter's disappearance.  
  
We had determined, thanks to a calender and a newspaper, that we'd  
been gone for a little under six weeks."Recently, I believe, each of  
you lost a child." There were sharp intakes of breath from three of  
them, a smile from one, and a glare from the other.  
  
"If you've brought us here to remind us of our loss," began Mrs.  
Tsuniko, standing up and pulling her husband with her,"we'll be going.  
And you can expect a call from our lawyer!" she hissed.  
  
"Hey wait, you got it all wrong!" I said. Stupid plan, I should have  
never let them talk me into it."Ah damn, girls, come on out," I  
called. Screw it. Usagi and I can fix anything less than a stroke.  
  
The senshi, except for Makoto who had gone to her apartment with  
Telerin so as not to complicate anything tonight, came out of my  
bedroom in their civilian forms. They must have heard that things  
weren't going too well for me or they would have been transformed like  
the plan had originally called for.  
  
There were squeals, gasps, a scream, lots of wailing from Minako's  
dad, and tears, bunches of tears. I just stood back and enjoyed the  
show.  
  
"Usagi, you are so so so grounded!" Mrs. Tsuniko shouted in between  
hugs and kisses."You're never leaving your room again!"  
  
"Waaaaaahhhhhhh!!!!!! My baby girl came back! Waaaaaaahhhhhh!!!!"  
Minako was starting to turn a little purple within her father's  
crushing grasp.  
  
This was ridiculous. I eventually gave up and went to the corner  
convenience mart to pick up some snacks. When I got back they were  
finally starting to lose some steam. I was in the middle of eating a  
sandwhich when everyone pulled themselves together and the girls were  
able to escape from their parents long enough to gather together.  
  
"Um, Mom, you see, we were gone because, well, it's kinda hard to  
explain...Ranma?" Usagi finished, pointing at me desperately. All  
eyes turned towards me. Hey, this wasn't my part.  
  
I sat there, my sandwhich stuck in my mouth, for over a minute while  
they just stared at me. I got tired of it and finished that  
bite."Fine, if you all are to chicken to say it, I will. Parents and  
grandparent, your children and grandchild were gone because they are  
the Sailor Senshi and we had all been trapped in another universe.  
I'm Ranma and I teach them magic. We got back a few hours ago." The  
silence was truly profound. I heard crickets chirping, despite being  
well above street level and far from any park.  
  
"Usagi is Sailor Moon, and the reincarnated Princess of the Moon  
Kingdom, and she first lived during the Silver Millenium about...ten  
thousand years ago, I think. Ami is Sailor Mercury, advisor and  
guardian to the Princess. Rei is Sailor Mars and I think she was  
guardian and assassin for the royal family. Ami's computer is a  
little sketchy on that one." I ticked off the next finger."Minako is  
Sailor Venus, also an advisor and guardian to the Princess. That  
about sums it up, well excpet for Makoto who is Sailor Jupiter, but  
she's an orphan and didn't want to intrude on the reunion." The  
following 'blink blink' was actually audible.  
  
Ms. Mizuno's eyes narrowed and she looked at her daughter closely,  
nodding to herself. Grandfather Hino just smiled at Rei and grinned  
knowingly at me. The Tsunikos decided to blink a few more times, then  
together, they seemed to actually accept what I said as true,  
apparently fitting suspiscious little instances together into  
something that proved me as not insane.  
  
Mr. Hina did't quite want to believe me, though."Are you a lunatic?  
My precious little Minako," Heh, Minako turned red,"would never fight  
monsters. She's too nice to do that. Why, if she breaks a nail, we  
have to listen to her whine about it for days." That last one was most  
definitely true.  
  
I made a curvy little gesture with my hand and the senshi clasped  
their hands together and murmmurred the activation phrase to their  
altered senshi transformation. There wasn't any twirling involved,  
and pretty ribbons didn't turn into magical underwear. Nope, my  
transformation spell was much faster and more practical. A flash of  
light, white for Usagi, red for Rei, yellow for Minako, and blue for  
Ami, and the girls were gone, replced by Sailor Senshi. Their color  
coded body armor, glowing with power, covered most of their bodies,  
leaving only their upper arms and parts of their thighs unprotected by  
the actual armor. Planes of force covered the bare flesh with  
invisible barriers. Each girl's visor partially covered her face, but  
enough was visible that their identities, when the glamore was not in  
effect, were clearly recognizable.  
  
Mr. Hina's head *thumped* as he passed out, slumping out of the chair  
he had occupied and colliding with my coffee table. That would leave  
a mark.  
  
"These costumes are much better than the old ones, don't you think?" I  
asked, drawing the still conscious adults' attention away from the  
senshi."The skirts had been so tiny before, you really should be glad  
that I did that." They all nodded to that. I think they were stunned  
speechless. Maybe they hadn't believed me before the demonstration,  
afterall.  
  
****  
  
The moment of truth. The others, parents and grandparent in one case  
in tow, had left my apartment. Except for Ami and Ms. Mizuno. Yes,  
now you see. BIG moment of truth. Just encase my lover's warning  
hadn't been jokes, I'd woven a couple barriers around myself. Not  
that I expected the women to get through my defenses, but eyes take so  
long to grow back that I didn't want to risk losing one.  
  
Ami was in her mom's grip, being rocked back and forth by the happy  
woman."Oh Ami, I missed you so much," was repeated constantly with a  
few,"I'm so proud of you,"'s thrown in for variety. Ami broke away  
from her mother and stood up in front of her.  
  
"Mom, no one was really properly introduced to Ranma," Ami said."He's  
taught us so much and without him we may have been in a laboratory  
somewhere being experimented on now instead of back home." I smiled  
and waved, deciding I should just keep my big mouth shut.  
  
"You're an adult, and you understand what it feels like to care for  
someone in a mature fashion," Ami continued.  
  
I had to say it or Ami would beat around the bush for hours."Sorry  
Ami, your Mom is starting to look impatient," I said. Ami looked  
really, really relieved."Ms. Mizuno, your daughter and I have been  
sleeping together for a while now and are, well, I guess in...l-l-  
love." THAT was majorly hard to squeeze out."When magically gifted  
people become truly involved and committed to one another, they  
sometimes form a bond that links their thoughts together and  
eventually their lives. Ami and I have such a bond. It's permanent.  
So you see, we, actually Ami, would like your permission for us be  
engaged with the intent to marry when she finishes school." Whew, I  
said it, and much better than I would have believed possible.  
  
Ami grinned sheepishly at her mother. Ms. Mizuno then proceeded to  
examine me like a piece of meat. I was getting nervous when she  
finally said,"I guess you'll do. Now come give me a hug." I didn't  
have much choice. I let her hug me. In my ear she whispered,"Thank  
you, Ranma, you don't know how much this means to me."  
  
****  
  
"Hey Setsy," Katya said to Setsuna, who was eating a bag of chips and  
reading a magazine while her sister looked for the senshi.  
  
"Don't start calling me that again," Setsuna snapped. During her  
entire childhood, Katya had only called her Setsuna three times. It  
had been Setsy all the other times.  
  
"Now that I've got your attention, I should tell you that the senshi  
and Ranma have returned to this universe. Actually, I just watched  
the senshi reveal their identities to their parents. Then Ranma  
announced to Ami's mother that he and the Senshi of Mercury were soul-  
bonded and that they were planning on getting married. Isn't that  
sweet?" Katya loved weddings. She would arrange a nice ceremonial  
meteor shower for the couple whenever they got around to tying the  
knot.  
  
Setsuna dropped her chips and magazine and stood up in a flurry of  
wobbling blubber. What had Ranma done to her senshi? How could he  
have brainwashed Ami, the smart one, so easily? He had to die! She  
called the Garnet rod to her chubby little hand and disappeaared with  
a pop.  
  
"Now what is she up to?" Katya asked the space where her sister had  
been sitting.  
  
****  
  
Author's Notes: I said that lots of stuff would happen this chapter,  
but I was wrong. That happens a lot when I write because I never  
really plan what the next chapter is gonna be about. That's part of  
why I never finish a fic. Next chapter, I promise, will be full of  
Setsuna getting her ass kicked and all kinds of other interesting  
stuff. I think that I took the whole revelation of the identities too  
lightly and faster than I should have, but now it's over and the story  
can move along with the world domination part. C&C me at  
dark_phoneix@hotmail.com  
  
Later  



	18. Chapter 17

  
Can It Get Any Worse?: Chapter 17  
  
I was still puzzling over Ms. Mizuno's unusual behavior, she hadn't  
even attacked me, when both my natural senses and those attuned to the  
renewed wards I'd placed in the apartment started shrieking. It's  
kinda like a loud siren that only I can hear, but has saved my life a  
couple dozen times. I jumped to my feet and had layered myself in  
barriers as strong as any diamond but as insubstantial as mist when  
the threat to my life appeared.  
  
The large creature held a staff of some kind and was dressed in the  
parody of a Sailor Senshi uniform. Despite its appearance, the  
creature did have access to power, as evidenced by the temporal  
acceleration field that crackled on the end of the key shaped staff.  
Those are nasty pieces of work, capable of aging or unaging matter at  
something like a thousand times natural speed.  
  
I activated three of the semi-sentient guardian spells that I'd put in  
place encase Setsuna ever decided to pay me an unfriendly visit.  
Around the creature, three fist-sized spheres of golden light  
appeared. They moved at extreme speed, something I could barely keep  
up with, and silently conferred with each other. When they agreed on  
which preprogrammed capture and elimination pattern to use, the  
spheres whirred around the still falling figure and before it could  
come within striking distance of me, they had wrapped it in a web of  
cohesive light, burning the creature and holding it immobile at the  
same time. I should teach that spell to the senshi, encase they're  
ever visited at home by their otherworldy enemies.  
  
"Ranma!" it growled at me. Heh, it even sounded like Setsuna. I let  
the guardian spell lapse into simple balls of incandescent light,  
giving me a clearer view of the false senshi."I'll kill you!" it  
shouted, struggling wildly in its bonds. The smell of burning flesh  
wasn't going to do my carpet a bit of good.  
  
Damn, now that I looked closer, the thing looked like Setsuna, too, in  
a horribly obese fashion. Oh, cool. Hehehehehehehehe!"Is that you  
Setsuna?" I asked. I know for a fact that I didn't curse her to be  
overweight, since that would have been an direct threat to her life  
and a violation of the pact."Shit, it really is you. What happened to  
you?" Setsuna used to be hot, but now, now she was...well she probably  
didn't weigh quite as much as me and all the senshi combined.  
  
"I won't allow you to get away with this!" Setsuna exclaimed in  
fury."The senshi will break free of your control!!! They will destroy  
you!!!" I'd better get her out of that web, or she's going to start to  
cook soon. I really don't want to try getting fat drippings out of  
the upholstery.  
  
I didn't use my own power, pulling directly from the Silver Imperium  
Crystal and amplifing the energy through my crystal, to set up a  
containment barrier as strong as I knew how to make. It should hold  
her, temporal abilities and all. My little guardians faded back into  
dormancy and I realesed the light web that had held Setsuna airborne.  
The milkily transparent energy bubble that appeared almost as soon as  
the web disappeared didn't allow the Senshi of Time(and pudding) a  
chance to move so much as a sausage like finger.  
  
"What am I supposed to do with you, now?" I asked. She was beating  
against the barrier's side with her staff, to no effect. I couldn't  
even hear her screams of rage. Maybe if I accidentally let it roll  
out the window. Nah, better not. Oh well, it'll make a great  
conversation piece.  
  
****  
  
Ami's mom decided to drag her now very sexually active daughter to the  
drug store to pick up some condoms. She wasn't paying very much  
attention to her daughter's protests.  
  
"But Mom," Ami whined desperately,"we use protection. Honestly, Ranma  
knows how to stop me from getting pregnant just by using a couple  
shiatsu pressure points." Kami-sama, this was embarassing.  
  
"I don't want to hear it, Ami. Ranma seems like a very nice sorceror,  
and I'm sure he knows how to do all kinds of interesting things, but  
I'm not taking any chances with my daughter." Noriko was leading her  
daughter by the hand, a method unused since the girl had had to be  
dragged to the dentist when she was seven.  
  
"That's not all, Mom. I know this magic spell that stops me from  
ovulating. If I'm not ovulating, I can't get pregnant, so don't you  
see, this is a waste of time. Please, I might see someone I know in  
there!" If Ami wasn't such a nice person, she would have blasted her  
mother. Unfortunately, Ami was nice, and the thought never really got  
past her subconscious mind.  
  
Noriko looked at her daughter and snapped,"I want you to stop doing  
that immediately. Who knows what long term effects that could have?  
I want lots of grandchildren one day, and I won't have you sterilizing  
yourself by accident!"  
  
Ami gave up, hanging her head in misery. She should have just kept  
her big mouth shut like Ranma had wanted and none of this would be  
happening. They reached the drug store and Ami was led straight to  
the contraceptives aisle.  
  
"Now, just look around and see what kind you like and find the  
appropriate size. I suppose I should make an appointment at my  
gynecologist for you, too." Noriko sighed. She was happy for her  
daughter, truly happy, proud too, but why couldn't the girl have kept  
her mouth shut and not made her mother worry about all this crap.  
  
Ami's face was bright red, and the color didn't show any sign of  
lightening. She scanned through the brands, sizes, and varieties as  
quickly as possible. Redder than ever, really closer to a bright  
purple, Ami asked,"Mom, are there any besides these?"  
  
Noriko looked puzzled."Couldn't you find at least one kind that was  
okay?" Geeze, there were dozens of them."I've always liked the ones  
witht he little bumps on them, myself, but that's up to you."  
  
Ami's eyes bulged."Mom!" she shrieked in a whisper. What had she done  
to deserve this?  
  
Her mother patted her arm gently."Now that your all grown up, we can  
talk about things like that. So, what is it going to be?"  
  
Ami looked the wall over again and said,"There aren't any that will  
fit Ranma." Noriko had to lean close to her daughter to hear the  
barely whispered words.  
  
Now it was Noriko's turn to blush."Well, I've always heard that it's  
not the size that counts, but how you use it," she said awkwardly.  
Poor girl. Maybe they could stop by that sex shop down the  
street...No, it'd gotten blown up a couple days earlier.  
  
Ami looked at her mother like she was crazy."No, Mom, all of these are  
too small." Ami just wanted to crawl into a hole and die.  
  
Noriko's blush deepened. She reached out and pulled the largest size  
available from the wall."Certainly he isn't bigger..." Ami nodded. The  
silence stretched for almost a minute. Finally, Noriko said,"They  
'do' stretch quite a bit."  
  
Ami nodded, now almost blue in the face."They don't stretch 'that'  
much," she told her mother.  
  
Noriko replaced the package and said,"Ami, honey, walk to the end of  
the aisle then back again, okay?"  
  
Ami shrugged. This was all just too weird. She walked to the end of  
the aisle, like her mother had asked, then returned. She couldn't  
help the confused expression she gave her mother on the way back.  
  
Ami didn't appear to be bo-legged, and she wasn't limping noticeably.  
"You win, Ami. Just make sure to be extra careful with that spell."  
  
Ami nodded in relief, feeling euphoric because of all the blood in her  
head.  
  
****  
  
Shampoo and Mousse, now both in human form, stood atop the high rise  
office building, surveying the open night sky that was brightly lit by  
the lights of Tokyo. Neither of them had ever imagined such a sight,  
and within their hearts, were sad that soon, all of this wonder would  
be gone, dead or destroyed by the Jusendo Alliance. Though neither  
one of them mentioned it to the other, they would each cherish the  
memory until their dying day.(enough sappy shit)  
  
"If the Orb is correct, Ranma should be in that building somewhere,"  
Mousse said, breaking the long, drawn out silence that had grown  
between the pair. The Orb was literally pointing at Ranma with a  
glowing finger of light. No matter what direction they turned, it  
continued to point towards that building.  
  
Shampoo nodded."Yes, but the Orb does not tell us where, and the  
structure is enormous. We could not possibly search for him without  
alerting the inhabitants. It would be far wiser to wait for him to  
come to us." The perch they had chosen looked directly down to the  
entrance of Ranma's home. He would have to leave eventually.  
  
"I agree. I'll take first watch while you get some rest. I'll wake  
you in a few hours," replied Mousse. Shampoo agreed and went to where  
they had set up their bedrolls. Mousse had no intention of waking his  
beloved. She needed her sleep more than he did. He would watch over  
her in this foreign and wonderful city and make sure that no harm came  
to the young warrior woman.  
  
****  
  
I started to get a little tired a couple hours after catching Setsuna.  
I altered the barrier spell so that it would periodically refresh the  
enormous senshi's air and placed her in front of the wide screen tv  
she had so generously provided so many months earlier. I turned that  
tv to the raunchiest porno I could find, a really nasty one with a  
woman screwing dogs."Have fun," I told Setsuna.  
  
I was about to step through the doorway into my room when an image of  
a beautiful silver-haired woman, dressed in a black body-suit/armor  
ensemble appeared in the air before me. It was an illusion, I knew,  
or the wards and my senses would have alerted me. If Ami and I hadn't  
been an item, I could easily see myself going after this one.  
  
"That's not really much of a punishment for her," the illusion  
commented."When we were younger, she used to sneak off with father's  
hounds every chance she got." The woman grinned evilly and attempted  
to look over my shoulder at the imprisoned senshi.  
  
"I'll go find something else, then. After I find out who you are?" If  
she was even remotely who her clues hinted at, Setsuna even had  
problems not pissing her family off. Hmm, maybe that's why the Senshi  
of Time doesn't get along with people very well. She's into dogs.  
Heh, I know a few canine demons I could introduce her to that she  
would just love.  
  
"Katya Meiou, Sailor Pluto, Senshi of Space, and older sister of  
Setsuna Meiou. And you would be Ranma. Setsy has told me about you.  
Thankfully, for both of us, I like to make my own judgements about  
people." It was obvious who got all the manners, brains, and pretty  
much everything else worth having in this family.  
  
"So, you don't plan on doing anything stupid, like trying to kill me?"  
I asked. If this Katya's power was actual Space manipulation like  
Setsuna's was Time, then I felt much safer around her. True, I can't  
create my own spatial pocket, and I'm still working on that  
teleportation spell, but as far as offensive and defensive uses of  
spatial manipulation, I'm much better than average.  
  
Katya shook her head."No, I just came to ask for my sister. She's  
suffering from a bit of a psychotic episode, I fear, and I need to get  
her some treatment before the condition becomes permanent. Not that  
she is really worth the effort, but you wouldn't believe how tedious  
it is to find a replacement temporal mage. Just between you and me,  
the last time Setsuna had to take a century off, she was raising a  
litter of human/Plutonian hunting hound hybrid puppies."  
  
I had to lean against the wall so I wouldn't fall over, so hard was I  
laughing. Oh wow, that was so, so good!"Are you serious?" I asked.  
Setsuna may be bad, but that last one seemed a little below even her  
standards.  
  
Katya nodded."Oh yes, quite serious. It caused the biggest scandal  
throughout the kingdom. Pluto was even attacked by a militant animal  
rights organization. They said she had taken advantage of the  
hounds."  
  
This was a Sailor Pluto I could get along with.  
  
****  
  
Along with thirty experienced Amazon warriors, Cologne journeyed to  
Jusekyou. No one in their right mind would fully trust Saffron, and  
the Amazons were making as many contingencies as they could. Today  
they would be gathering as much water from the more valuable pools as  
safely possible, especially the pools that gave extraordinary  
abilities to their victims. Some of the water would be boiled down  
and processed by the village sorceresses, creating the temporary  
curses, but much of it would be placed within sealed urns where it  
would not lose its potency.  
  
Plans had been made to continue doing this right up until the end of  
the coming war. That way a sizable stockpile of the mystical water  
would be in Amazon hands in both South America and Africa encase they  
either needed it to help fight off attacks by the Musk or Phoenix  
People, or if they were denied further access to their home valley.  
  
"I want double loads of the giant prehistoric sea turtle water." No  
one knew how a turtle the size of their main village had ever managed  
to drown in a pool large enough to hop across, but no one really cared  
either. They would change the marker to that spring and gather as  
much of it on each trip as possible. There would be no ocean  
tranportation more advanced than a sailboat once Saffron's artifact  
was activated, and the Amazons needed to be able to communicate  
quickly and efficiently between their promised continents when the  
time came.  
  
As Cologne supervised the work effort, she mentally sought out the  
pool of drowned girl. This part of the plan was an absolute secret,  
but the elders had decided, quite unanimously, that they would be able  
to better lead their forces if they were in younger, more resilient  
bodies. Herb had already promised the use of the locking kettle,  
though he didn't know what the Amazons planned for it. It would be  
good to be young again. Maybe she could even get Ranma into the sack.  
Shampoo sure had enjoyed the experience.  
  
When she found the pool in question, she formed a chi image of herself  
and left it in her place as she sprinted for the pool. She returned,  
a sack of cursed, or blessed water, depending on how you look at it,  
hidden within her robe before the image had even begun to fray.  
  
****  
  
That night, the combined Council of Elders for the entire Amazon  
nation threw a slumber party. They brought their favorite young men  
from the surrounding villages and had their way with them all night,  
repeatedly.  
  
****  
  
"There he is!" Shampoo exclaimed happily. She pointed over the side  
of the building. Mousse followed the gesture and sure enough, there  
was Ranma, walking out of the entrance to his apartment building.  
  
Shampoo wasn't very happy with Mousse, it had been her duty to keep  
watch, too, but she gave him a little hug of gratitude nonetheless.  
She would have been asleep then if Mousse had obeyed her order.  
  
"Hurry, Mousse," Shampoo said as she leapt over the side of the  
building. It was only about ten stories above the pavement, something  
she could possibly have handled without assistance, but using Ranma's  
sword to call up an undraft left that question unanswered. She slowly  
floated to the sidewalk, unseen by the few pedestrians in the street,  
and closely observed by Ranma.  
  
Mousse settled to the ground beside her, a length of chain he had used  
as a repelling line disappearing back into his robes.  
  
"Shampoo, Mousse, what are you two doing here?" Ranma asked in  
Japenase.  
  
****  
  
"Shampoo, Mousse, what are you two doing here?" I asked, grinning at  
the pair of Amazons. Shampoo had handled the sword with ease and  
skill. I'd sorta traded it to the Amazons for instruction in their  
advanced martial arts techniques. I'd gotten the better of the deal,  
in my opinion. What is one little enchanted sword when compared to  
the physical conditioning and chi focus I had gained in return? Not  
much.  
  
Shampoo rushed forward and threw her arms around me, kissing me  
soundly on the mouth with lots of aggresive tongue action. When she  
pulled away, she said in her native dialect of Chinese,/I'm glad to  
see that you're well, Ranma./  
  
Mousse stepped forward and extended his hand, I accepted it and the  
Amazon said,"It has been too long."  
  
I exchanged greetings then asked,"Not that I'm not glad to see you  
two, but why are you here? A journey all the way from Jusendo is no  
small undertaking." I could already tell that something major was up.  
The Elders would never have let these two, the most promising young  
Amazon warriors in the entire tribe, travel all the way to Japan to  
see me unless the matter was urgent.  
  
"Perhaps somewhere more private would be best," suggested Mousse.  
Once I'd fixed this guys eyes, he'd really gotten his head on  
straight. Of course I may have accidentally fixed that too. I've  
refined my healing spells a lot since then.  
  
I led the Amazons back to my apartment. This was important. Katya  
could keep the senshi entertained for a while. Shit, how am I going  
to explain Shampoo to Ami? Sigh. I'll think of something.  
  
Once they were seated, Shampoo said,/Ranma, we need you back home,  
badly./ My Chinese isn't bad, but it isn't anything special either.  
  
I held up my hand and said,"Sorry, Shampoo, but could Mousse explain?  
If this is important, it'd be better for me to precisely understand  
the situation." She didn't look like she liked the idea, she was an  
Amazon female being told what to do by me, a guy.  
  
"Ranma, Jusendo is about to go to war with the world. Lord Saffron, a  
living phoneix and leader of the Phoenix People, has negotiated an  
alliance between himself, Prince Herb of the Musk Dynasty, and the  
Council of Elders. He has in his possession a magical artifact that  
will render all modern technology and weaponry completely useless. We  
were sent to invite you to return to the village with us and to use  
your power to aide in the coming struggle. The main reason, though,  
is that the Elders fear that Saffron and the Musk will turn on us when  
the war is over. Your abilities as a sorceror would prove invaluable  
to the tribe, especially in crafting weapons of power for our warriors  
to use," Mousse finished, taking a deep breath.  
  
What can you say when you've just been invited to participate first  
hand in World War III? The idea was appealling. Very, very  
appealling. With Demon and the other pokemon, maybe a few powerful  
demons, and the Sailor Senshi, we could pull the rug right out from  
under this Saffron guy. Yeah, that would be good, kinda like  
liberators of the world. That way Usagi could come into power as the  
new ruler of Earth, like Ami had said she was supposed to, with the  
public's consent.  
  
"Saffron, you say he is an actual 'Phoenix'?" I asked to stall for  
time while I thought. Setsuna certainly wouldn't like it if the  
senshi and I took this little shortcut to global power, making all her  
plans for Crystal Tokyo useless. The world would be in absolute chaos  
if technology just stopped working, and I for one don't want to be on  
the losing side of a battle just as civilization slips back into the  
dark ages.  
  
"Saffron is a Phoenix, like those of legend. I saw him working out  
once. He turned a large mountain into slag in less than a minute,"  
Mousse answered, his voice edged with fear. I nodded to that. This  
Saffron sounded like an overgrown fire elemental. Well, I could  
handle that easily enough.  
  
I remained silent, sending urgent thoughts across my bond to Ami.  
With luck, she would pick them up and mention it to Katya. The  
spatial mage would be able to teleport the girls to my apartment and  
save me the trip to them and back. Once I was sure I had sent as  
strong a message as possible, I said,"I just invited some friends of  
mine, powerful sorceresses actually, to join us. They all have  
powerful friends themselves and I would rather they fight with us than  
against us."  
  
Mousse nodded, realizing that I had all but agreed to join them, then  
translated to Shampoo what I had said encase she hadn't understood it  
all.  
  
In my best Chinese, I said,/Shampoo, one of girls coming here my  
fiance. I love very much. You understand what happened between us  
was only one time thing?/ Shampoo nodded glumly./Cheer up. If they  
join us, Amazons be unstoppable./ That did seem to brighten the girl's  
mood a bit.  
  
A few seconds later, a hole in space opened up in my ceiling and five  
senshi, all in full battle armor, along with Katya in her original  
uniform, floated to the floor. They were ready to fight, with energy  
blades drawn and fully primed spells ready. Ami in particular had a  
nasty one ready, a modified ice flame that burnt the heat from  
someone's body, leaving them as living statues of ice.  
  
Before Shampoo or Mousse could get vaporized, I stood up and waved the  
senshi off."Sorry about that, guys. I didn't mean to worry you." They  
resheathed their swords and all the spells except for Ami's went dead.  
I looked at her and grinned and she, too, killed her spell."These are  
friends of mine. Mousse, Shampoo, meet the Sailor Senshi, my  
students."  
  
The Amazons waved in a kind of numb shock.  
  
Ami stomped over to me and began beating me over the head with a  
lamp."Don't you ever do that again unless your in major, major  
trouble, you hear me, mister!?" she shouted."I was worried sick!" The  
power of guilt is considerable. Nervously, aware that I was being  
stared at angrily by lots of powerful sorceresses, I reached out and  
pulled Ami into a hug. She collapsed against me and started crying.  
Damnit, extreme guilt is even worse. I bent down and whispered all  
kinds of assurances and promises in her ear. Finally, when she was  
calm and merely clinging to me, I relaxed and began to rub my aching  
head. That lamp had been one of those new age, solid steel deals with  
the sharp edges.  
  
Katya, trying to snap us out of an embarassing scene, asked,"Ranma, if  
you're not in trouble, why did you call so urgently?" Katya and I were  
going to get along really well.  
  
I grinned lopsidedly at her and the senshi."Who wants to help take  
over the world?" I asked. 3...2...1...!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
I wasn't disappointed."WHAT!?!?!?!?" The exclamation came from all the  
senshi, including Ami who was pressed against my chest and Katya who I  
had thought was too grounded to react so strongly. Three of the  
windows in my apartment exploded.  
  
****  
  
Author's Notes: How will the senshi react to Ranma's question? Will  
Rei remember her pet fire elemental Saffy-chan from the Silver  
Millenium? Just what did Ranma promise Ami to get her calm? These  
questions may be answered in the next chapter, but they may not. Ah,  
screw it, yes, they will be answered. I'm not good at being  
suspenseful or dramatic so I shouldn't even try. This, with maybe one  
more chapter released later tonight will be the last of this fic for a  
few days while I go to visit my grandma before I go back to college.  
She's pretty cool, the only member of my family that isn't somehow  
disfunctional, and likes to give me money, so I don't really mind  
being cut off from the internet or cable to see her. C&C me at  
dark_phoneix@hotmail.com  



	19. Chapter 18

  
Can It Get Any Worse?: Chapter 18  
  
After the senshis' outburst, I began to do some damage control."Don't  
look at me like that. I'm serious. Someone with some serious magic  
power is going to be making a bid for global domination in..." I  
looked to Mousse.  
  
"Two weeks," he added helpfully.  
  
"In two weeks. He's gonna be able to kill the world's technology with  
some kind of ancient spell or something. If we get in on this, once  
the world is really conquered, with lots of oppression and all the  
other crap associated with someone getting their ass kicked, we can  
come in with pokemon and magic blazing, take over for ourselves, and  
put Usagi in power. But the clincher is that we make it look like  
Usagi is liberating the world from the bad guys. That way you come  
into power centuries before you're supposed to and all of Setsuna's  
plans get screwed as a side bonus." I think I presented the case  
rather well.  
  
Katya laughed."Oh I just love you," she said fondly, earning a glare  
from Ami. That comment was just the right catalyst to get things  
moving in the proper direction.  
  
"Who is going to try to take over the world, Ranma?" Ami asked."And  
how is he going to 'kill' the world's technology?" This couldn't have  
gone better if it had been scripted.  
  
"A phoenix, a kind of really strong fire elemental really, over in  
China who has the backing of the most powerful martial artists and  
naturally powerful people in the world. I wouldn't say he's actually  
gonna kill technology. From what Mousse says, Saffron has found some  
really old artifact, probably from the Silver Millenium now that I  
think about it, and that it will render all modern technology and  
weapons useless." Now all I needed was for someone to ask why we  
shouldn't fight against Saffron and try to stop him from disabling  
technology.  
  
Rei was kind enough to do that for me, and I didn't even have to ask.  
Heh."Simple. Once Saffron is eliminated, Usagi, and the rest of us,  
will have our very own army of super warriors. That can come in handy  
for all kinds of things. I know with absolute certainty that about  
eighty-five years from now this planet is going to be invaded by an  
army of demons, demons that don't like me anymore than they do any  
other human. Well, it may be ninety years. I'm not too sure, the  
scrolls were badly weathered and my Chinese isn't all that great." I  
wasn't even lying. An army of blood-thirsty demons really was going  
to be invading. I didn't actually find out from a scroll, but you  
can't go around letting people know that the Dark Prince is giving you  
hints about the future.  
  
"Wouldn't Setsuna have told us about something like that?" Minako  
asked. Better and better.  
  
Katya answered this one."My younger sister has been a bit short  
sighted in a long term way. She has worried far too much about  
manipulating the past in order to achieve a goal much farther into the  
future than she should have strived for. The strain of that and a few  
recent events have been too much for her and I'm sorry to say that  
I've had to have her committed to a psychiatric hospital. With  
electroshock treatments, the doctors think she'll make a full  
recovery, in about a decade." Oh that was smooth, very smooth. Isn't  
sisterly love wonderful?  
  
"See, if we help take over the world now, we'll be helping to save it  
and humanity in the long run. So, who's in?" I wasn't going to give  
them too much time to think too carefully about this. We needed to  
get to the Amazon village and consolidate our power as quickly as  
possible. To top the deal off, I said,"It'd be safer for your parents  
too. If they stayed here in Japan while the war is going on, they  
would be in lots of danger, from starving people that can't function  
without the internet and microwaves, to Jusendo death squads. If  
they're in Jusendo where no one but the people on our side can go,  
they'd be as safe as anyone can possibly be." Ah ha ha ha, way to go  
me.  
  
"You say that they're martial artists?" Makoto asked. She had that  
look in her eye that sorta says 'I'm determined to get my way and  
you'd better not try to stop me'.  
  
I nodded."Oh yes, every single person is a martial artist of at least  
world class proficiency. Shampoo, she's sorta like the princess of a  
tribe of Amazon warriors. They're led by women and a lot of the  
advanced martial arts I learned is Amazon in origin." Well, Sailor  
Jupiter was sold.  
  
"Jusendo is too too beautiful," Shampoo added."Always like spring  
time. And womens very respected in tribe, especially sorceresses.  
Sorry Shampoo's Japanese so bad," she finished with a grin.  
  
I think that one pulled in Minako and Rei, two very strong-willed, if  
a bit flightly young women."And there's lots of room for our pokemon  
to roam around, too," I added. And Usagi's eyes lit up like  
headlights.  
  
Ami could read my face and feel my emotions too well for me to even  
attempt to manipulate her, not to mention how smart she is. I  
probably couldn't really have manipulated her no matter what our  
relationship was. So, I just said to her,"This really is for the  
best. Your mother being a fully trained doctor would be enough to get  
her a seat on the Council of Elders. That's the women in charge." Not  
that I intended to let any of them tell me what to do.  
  
Katya once again chose to be helpful, saying,"Why don't we let the  
girls talk it over amongst themselves and you and I can discuss some  
business that we need to take care of?" I nodded and we left the girls  
in a tight little group to convince each other that they should join  
up. I gathered up Shampoo and Mousse as we headed to the kitchen.  
  
"Ranma, we weren't really supposed to pick up anyone but you," Mousse  
said, a little overwhelmed by the last few minutes of conversation and  
events. I don't think either of the Amazons even noticed that their  
war was being stolen right out from under them.  
  
I shrugged."Don't worry about it, Mousse. The Council definitely  
won't be displeased with you or Shampoo if you come back with not only  
me, but a whole squad of sorceresses. Oh, and lots of pokemon." He  
looked at me funny and I remembered that no one else even knew what  
the creatures were. I guess I'd just gotten so used to them being  
around that I forgot that no one else on Earth had any of  
them."Pokemon are really powerful animals," I told him."I have one  
that's over a hundred meters tall and breathes fire, another that can  
cause earthquakes at will and is nearly indestructible, and a dragon  
pokemon that I've trained to control the elements of nature. The  
girls in there each have there own, none as strong as mine, but they  
have more of them. Usagi has hundreds. If we really wanted to, the  
senshi and I could conquer the world with just the pokemon we have."  
  
Mousse's eyes had glazed over some and a tiny line of drool was  
leaking from Shampoo's mouth. For effect, I continued,"Usagi's  
pokemon are almost steadily producing eggs, so think, we could have  
every Amazon in Jusendo equipped with his or her very own living  
weapon." Any objections to bringing the senshi and anyone they wanted  
to accompany them went right out the window with that last one. I'm  
getting pretty good at this.  
  
"There are three other senshi to consider," Katya added."Uranus and  
Neptune aren't as powerful as the Inner Senshi are thanks to your  
instruction, but they are a force to be reckoned with. Poor Saturn  
doesn't have long to live, I fear."  
  
Damn, I'd forgotten about those three completely."About Saturn, Katya,  
I believe I can stop her health from detereorating further, but she'll  
lose most of her power." I'd come up with a way to break the link  
between Saturn and Silence before the incident at the mountain had  
thrown us through the multiverse. Just got a little side-tracked is  
all.  
  
The Senshi of Space looked at me in confusion."Every incarnation of  
Saturn always dies of a wasting sickness. How could you stop a cycle  
that has continued for untold eons?" She didn't sound scornful or  
unsure, just suprised and hopeful.  
  
"You didn't know that Saturn gains her power from being directly  
combined with Silence?" She shook her head dumbly."Silence is a really  
powerful Infernal entity that used to go around destroying worlds, a  
really, really long time ago. He disappeared, though, and then Sailor  
Saturn, the Bringer of Silence appeared shortly thereafter." I had  
pieced this all together on a rainy day shortly after learning of the  
existance of the Outer Senshi."If I broke the link, she wouldn't be  
any stronger than any of the other Outer Senshi, but she wouldn't die,  
and as much as I hate to say it, if I had to choose between a year of  
absolute power or a couple millenia of some power and a normal life, I  
would get rid of absolute power in a heart beat."  
  
"Well then, we'll be making a stop, you and I, by young Hotaru's home  
after this meeting." Katya's voice brooked no argument.  
  
"That's fine with me. We are probably gonna have a bunch of family  
members and friends tagging along with us to China, so we should  
figure out how to get them there. We could probably use the pokemon,  
though it would badly exhaust them, to make the trip, but you have  
that nice teleportation spell, and I only need to see it a few more  
times before I can do it myself. Feel like being a mystic taxi  
service?" I asked. Katya's teleportation spell wasn't just a way to  
get around from place to place. If used properly, you could remove  
someone's heart before they could blink or just as easily cut someone  
in half with a thought and without any evidence that you caused the  
death. Very versatile spell.  
  
****  
  
"I'm free! I'm free!" Ryoga exclaimed in joy. He wasn't wearing  
anything but a tiny pair of leather briefs and a rubber hood, but he  
was free."Now, Ranma and Genma Saotome, for making my life hell and  
leading me into the life of a sex slave, you shall die!!!"  
  
What Ryoga didn't know was that he was standing on the launch platform  
for the Wizard of Gates' newest series of orbital laser cannons. This  
one even included its very own nuclear ballistic missles. Because of  
this added weight, the rocket thrusters on cargo vessel were  
exceptionally large.  
  
'5..4..3..2..1, and launch is a go!' came the voice over the  
Microsoft(once known as Apple Headquarters) Space Center's speaker  
system.  
  
Ryoga looked around, finally ripping the hood from his head to  
increase his periphreal vision. He seemed to notice just how unusual  
his surroundings were when he felt an inordinate amount of heat coming  
from above. He looked up just as the rocket engines ignited.  
  
"I'll get yu for this, Raaannnnmm-" the scream of rage was cut off by  
its source being severely overcooked.  
  
****  
  
Ami, being the closest to me, was chosen to act as emissary. Yeah,  
way corny, but their words, not mine."We all agree that fighting with  
you and Saffron, with the later intent of supplanting Saffron as ruler  
would be the most beneficial for the world in general."I nodded,  
grinning at her knowingly. They had all been ready to jump in a boat  
and paddle to China before their little meeting."We all want to bring  
our families and friends with us, though," she added. All in all, not  
a very long list of demands.  
  
"Sure, no problem. You'd all better start rounding them up. I  
imagine that the friends will want to bring their families also, and  
so on and so forth. If you girls want to pull this off, you'd better  
get busy. Katya and I need to see about the other senshi." We were  
probably going to end up with a few hundred, if not more, useless  
people, but those relatively few people were being backed by serious  
power. The Council would see that and not bitch or moan too much.  
  
After some grumbling at the work ahead of them, the senshi, except for  
Ami, all went to do as I had told them. I hope they didn't botch it  
and get us all in trouble. My fiance(sounds nice doesn't it?) pulled  
me back into the kitchen and asked,"You and that girl, Shampoo, you  
two have been together, haven't you?"  
  
That came faster than I'd expected."Yeah, but it was years ago, and  
I've already made it clear to her that you and me are inseperable.  
She understands. You're not jealous, are you?" Of course she was  
jealous, I could feel it in her, despite her efforts to bottle the  
emotion up.  
  
She paused for a few moments and eventually nodded."I can't help it.  
She's so beautiful and a powerful warrior like you." She shrugged."I  
guess I'm being silly. I know that you wouldn't cheat on me, I can  
'feel' it in my bones, but I still worry."  
  
I hugged her reassuringly and whispered,"Don't worry, you're the only  
one for me. Besides, Shampoo may not know it yet, but she's in love  
with Mousse." I'm not sure how long I let the embrace last, but I  
missed the warmth of Ami's body pressed against mine when we  
separated."You should probably go and break the news to your mom.  
Please try to convince her that I'm not evil." I just knew that Ms.  
Mizuno was going to blame this on me, even if it was my fault.  
  
"I should give her some time to gather any medical supplies she might  
need."  
  
I wonder how all those adults are going to feel about being railroaded  
into such a drastic change of life by their children.  
  
****  
  
I let Katya ring the door bell at the Ten'ou home. This, apparently,  
was where the rug-munching(not that I have anything against this  
particular hobby, as long as the muncher and munchee are both in the  
mega-attractive category) senshi, with their ward Hotaru, lived.  
After a few more buzzez from the bell, the door was opened by a blue-  
haired young woman who, from descriptions given by the other senshi, I  
recognized as Michiru, a.k.a. Sailor Neptune.  
  
She first saw Katya and stepped back in suprise. When she saw me she  
reached her arm into another one of those spatial pockets and pulled  
out a henshin rod. Damn Setsuna and her crazy, paranoid, dogfucking-  
self.  
  
Katya reached out and grabbed Michiru's arm."Hold it right there,  
young lady. I don't know what my sister has told you about Ranma, but  
he's on our side. Setsuna is just slightly bonkers right now and I'm  
filling in for her. Won't you invite us in?"  
  
Warily, Michiru stepped back, not turning her back to us. Once we  
were in the house, I said,"I've come to cure Hotaru. She'll die  
without my help." I've been playing hero a lot lately. The feeling of  
accomplishment can grow on you after a while.  
  
Hearing my claim, the Senshi of Neptune blinked and jumped slightly as  
if startled by something. She still didn't look ready to trust me,  
though.  
  
"Where is the girl?" Katya asked. I have a feeling that she knew  
exactly where Hotaru was, but for the life of me I can't figure out  
why she asked. I sure could feel the virtual bleeding off of power  
from Silence. There was a very faint undertone of another life force  
going with that power. Hotaru must be fading extraordinarily fast if  
I could feel her life leaving her bodily that easily.  
  
Michiru remained silent, but she led us down a wide hallway with some  
expensive looking paintings on the walls and up a spiral flight of  
stairs. From the top of them we went down a dimly lit hallway to a  
room located at the end of the corridor. Quietly, Michiru opened the  
door and we walked into an even more dimly lit bedroom. A small, very  
frail looking girl with short black hair laid in the bed, sleeping.  
Her breathing was irregular and I could feel the uneven flows of  
energy throughout her body. Talk about cutting it close.  
  
"What are you going to do?" Michiru asked, breaking her silence. She  
glanced worriedly at the small figure who was covered up to her neck  
in thick blankets."Please don't let her die."  
  
For all spells with patterns more complicated than the mind can safely  
coordinate, what do we use? That's right, our trusty athame. In a  
single motion too fast to be seen by either senshi, I drew the demon  
forged blade. Michiru gasped and Katya raised a questioning eyebrow.  
"Dont't worry, I'm not going to hurt her. This will help me cast the  
spell that will separate her from Silence."  
  
Katya walked Michiru over to a small couch set in the corner of the  
room and firmly planted the worried woman. I began drawing symbols in  
the air, some gold and some silver. All of them contained as much  
power as I could concentrate through my crystals without giving any of  
the senshi or Hotaru brain damage. As I continued to draw the  
extremely complicated spell, forming a net of overlapping words of  
power, I began chanting. The chant held no power in itself, this  
spell was my own creation and I don't really like binding power into  
words for it is too easy to make a costly and dangerous mistake that  
way, but the chant allowed my mind to focus sharply enough to finish  
the last few passes of the spell. When I had it completely patterned,  
there were no distinguishable lines, just a solid mass of gold and  
silver energy floating before me. This spell would have absolutely  
exhausted me before aquiring my lens crystal, now though, I was only  
slightly winded, and that was mostly mental fatigue.  
  
A slight tendril of energy connecting Hotaru's soul with the spell was  
all that was required to activate it. As the amassed energy, enough  
to decimate Tokyo if properly used, hit the girl, she convulsed once  
and was still. Michiru screamed in the background. I ignored her,  
keeping my attention on my subject and making sure she didn't have an  
unforseen reaction.  
  
A minute passed, then five, ten, twenty, an hour. Then, when I was  
about to give up and cancel the spell, Hotaru convulsed once more, and  
from her sweat covered brow, rose a three inch high little amalgam of  
insect, mud, and mucus. It floated into the air and was held tightly  
in place by the containment portion of my spell.  
  
"Release me at once, puny mortal!!!" Silence roared in a squeak barely  
worthy of a mouse. Heh, life hadn't been too good for it lately,  
either.  
  
"Hey, I'm Ranma. You should really thank me for releasing you from  
your prison. I believe you, too, would have died with this latest  
Saturn." That was true. From the power I'd felt leaking from the  
girl, I'd thought Silence was still going strong, but that obviously  
had been the entity's death throws. Thirty thousand years and  
numerous reincarnations had not been kind to Silence. Now free, he  
was already starting to regain his power. The process would probably  
take a few centuries, but I wasn't about to leave a creature like this  
around that most likely held grudges and would eventually be able to  
destroy the planet I lived on.  
  
"Ha! Your primitive mind can't even begin to grasp my power! Release  
me or I shall destroy you!!!" Silence squeaked again. Obnoxious  
little bastard. I reached out and thumped it on the forehead. It  
squeak/roared again and lashed out with a finger-sized bolt of energy  
that fizzled out a foot from my face. That effort left Silence barely  
substantial enough to exist.  
  
I briefly wondered if I should keep him as a pet. A magically  
modified pokeball and a few years of study and I would be able to  
control the entity. That's a lot of trouble, though, so I just used  
all the energy from my recently completed spell to form a barrier much  
like the one I'd used to confine Setsuna when she had attacked me. I  
compressed it as much as possible and fed enough raw energy into it to  
keep Silence fed for a few years. When I was done there was a snow  
globe sized force bubble containing what had once been one of the  
deadliest beings in existance. I attached a kind of mystic note to  
the sphere and chunked it through a small tear in reality that led  
directly to Hell. Nicky would get a kick out of the little guy.  
  
Teary-eyed, Michiru and Katya approached me at Hotaru's bedside. The  
little girl's complextion had already improved and I could sense that  
her body, as tired and worn out as it was, would make a full recovery  
in time."I have the skill to fix actual injuries and cure diseases,  
but Usagi is the only person I know with enough skill in white magic  
to speed up the recovery process from something like this. We can  
bring her by tomorrow."  
  
Michiru nodded, looked at the floor, then rushed me. She gave me a  
crushing hug of gratitude and got my shirt all wet with tears."Thank  
you, oh thank you!" she cried softly. I'm not one for great big  
emotional scenes, Kamis know that I have enough trouble dealing with  
Ami, so I just nodded and tried out my new teleportation spell for the  
first time. The hole in space deposited me in my bathtub instead of  
my living room. Pretty good for a first try.  
  
****  
  
Author's Notes: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! I managed to get this whole  
chapter done in a little more than two hours! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! I'm  
proud of myself. Anyway, this was supposed to be posted in the morning,   
also being the last chapter until thursday night at the earliest. That   
changed when I came down stairs this morning and it was raining outside.   
Now that my truck has been taken away from me by my bastard father, my   
mother(a.k.a. supreme high super bitch) was going to drive me to my grandma's.   
Well, she didn't want to get out in the rain, so I'll be stuck here. She's   
made me drive to the store when there was a tropical storm floating over   
the entire state and she couldn't drive me forty miles to see my old, most   
likely not going to live for too many more years grandmother. It'll come   
back on her one day, though, when I put her in the dirtiest, most disrepu-  
table nursing home I can find(the kind that doesn't turn the old person   
over but once every six months). I'm sure that no one really wants to hear   
about my fucked up family, so I'll just drop the matter. All the   
suggestions I get now, with the story in its present state, will help me   
a bunch. Like always, send C&C to  
dark_phoneix@hotmail.com  



	20. Chapter 19

  
Can It Get Any Worse?: Chapter 19  
  
I don't know how they managed to pull it off, but somehow, the senshi  
convinced their parents, a large number of family members, and lots of  
friends along with their families. The Outer Senshi, all orphans, and  
not the most sociable of people didn't invite any friends, bringing  
the number of travellers up to two hundred and sixty seven. It's an  
absolute wonder that those government agent guys hadn't caught on to  
the little exodus. The senshi had even kept their identities secret.  
Good thing they're finally learning to do these things on their own.  
  
The crowd milling around the Cherry Hill Park were beginning to get  
anxious. I think they were told that the war would be breaking out at  
any time. If Mousse's report was accurate, though, a little under a  
week remained until Saffron destroyed nearly a thousand years of  
civilization. A large truck, one of several that Ms. Mizuno had  
bringing in all kinds of medical supplies, pulled up onto the grass  
and Ami's mother stepped out of driver's cab. Where does a doctor  
learn to drive a big rig?  
  
"Ranma, if this is some practical joke, I just want you to know that  
I'm going to skin you alive," Ms. Mizuno told me."Four missing  
shipments of medicine and medical supplies tend to upset people.  
Shouldn't we be leaving?" She's nice, in a take charge and bull your  
way through everything kind of way.  
  
"If this is a joke, you're gonna have to stand in line to take your  
turn murdering me. All these people are getting restless and I can  
feel the fear radiating from them. It wouldn't take much to turn them  
into a lynch mob." If everything went to schedule, Katya, with  
assistance from me as a power source, would be making a mass-teleport  
to Shampoo's village in an hour.  
  
Ms. Mizuno nodded and went to see about getting her stuff unloaded. I  
quickly 'ported back to my apartment to see how Ami was progressing  
with her computer."Well, how's it going?" I asked. She had found  
information on the likely artifact that Saffron planned to use. It  
was some kind alien egg modified both technologically and mystically  
to hold amazingly complex and highly specific spell patterns.  
Saffron's was a population control model, designed to limit the  
resistance that a planet would be able to offer if a conflict ever  
broke out.  
  
"I've been able to find plans for a generator that derives a usable  
electric charge from raw magic and a type of view screen that utilizes  
water and refracted light over long distances. That's all in the  
database from the Silver Millenium that I can build with today's level  
of technical sophistication. The information from the Enterprise I  
downloaded may be able to be used to work out some rudimentary energy  
shields and a laser-like weapon called a phaser. I'd need to talk to  
Katya about helping me locate the parts for them, though, since most  
of the important components are in high security laboratories around  
the globe." Wow, and all I'd wanted was a way to get controllable  
electricity to power all of Ms. Mizuno's doctor crap. She'd bitched  
at me about using magic, so I'd turned to her daughter for help.  
  
I shook my head."You always do so much," I said."Come on, we'll get  
you everything you need before the deadline." Ami flushed at the light  
praise. I grinned at her, and arm in arm, I 'ported us to the park,  
careful not to be seen by the crowd. Appearing before them out of  
mid-air would be a quick way to light a short fuse.  
  
****  
  
"Luna, I don't think this is very wise," cautioned Artemis. The two  
cats were creeping through the mists that led to the Gates of Time and  
Space.  
  
"Quit being such a scaredy cat, Artemis," Luna hissed at her  
companion. "We have to find Sailor Pluto, the Time one, not that  
slutty sister of hers, and get rid of Ranma. He's going to ruin  
everything!" Luna could barely even bring herself to think about what  
her senshi were going to help accomplish. World domination. The  
phrase left a bad taste in the moon cat's mouth. She should have seen  
through that girl disguise. This was all her fault. She had to fix  
it.  
  
"I know that, Luna," snapped Artemis."I'm not a total fool. I just  
don't think we should try to use the Gate. Neither one of us has the  
proper magic or expertise to do it, so why even try? What happens if  
we get sent into sapce, or back into a past where dinosaurs still  
lived? The mosquitos back then were bigger than we are now. The  
mosquitos! Think about the giant reptiles that could step on us!"  
  
Luna smacked Artemis in the face with her tail and proceeded to ignore  
his babbling. She'd been around Usagi long enough to be able to  
completely blank her mind from such annoying chatter."How hard can it  
be? I'll figure it out and send you through to rescue Setsuna."  
  
Artemis looked at Luna like she was insane."No," he said firmly."I am  
not going to let 'you' play with the controls and have 'me' end up  
with the consequences. You figure out how to work it and I'll send  
you through."  
  
"Fine then, if you want to be such a pussy, I won't stop you."  
  
****  
  
"No," I repeated, not intending to do so again,"you can not take your  
car, Mrs. Tsuniko. I know that it was expensive and that you love it.  
I also know that it will be a useless scrap of metal in less than a  
week. Don't you have some furniture or family heirlooms you would  
rather take? Tools would be good. You should spend any money that  
you have saved up, too. It won't be good any longer than the car  
will." I didn't leave the woman any room to object.  
  
People had sold property, liquidated assets, and cleaned out bank  
accounts, using the money to buy all kinds of things, from crates of  
toilet paper to truck loads of food. Every time I think about it, I  
can't figure out how the senshi managed to convince so many people to  
come with us. Oh well, with five minutes till departure, there wasn't  
time for anyone to back out and get their stuff back. I had  
reluctantly agreed to bring back anyone that changed their mind once  
we were in China. Then those that still had unfinished business  
wanted to come. Before I knew it, I had three short trips back to  
Japan scheduled in the next few days.  
  
Usagi's mom walked over to where her family, sans Usagi, had made  
themselves comfortable. Mr. Tsuniko had taken my words to heart and  
purchased some high quality hand tools and lots of lumber. There was  
also a very large manually powered ice cream churn in their  
belongings. Usagi's influence, without a doubt.  
  
Shingo, Usagi's little brother, was having a quiet conversation with  
the baby Charmander that the White Sorcerress had given him. Unless  
you looked closely, it would look like he was talking to a doll. I  
was already starting preliminary plans to begin teaming up the younger  
children with pokemon. That way, by the time they were old enough to  
fight, they would be able to go into battle with the powerful  
creatures.  
  
I felt Katya's presence appear next to me suddenly and refrained from  
spinning around to confront her. Damnit, if someone saw her do that,  
we would have a riot on our hands."Don't worry, Ranma, I made sure no  
one was looking in this direction," she said.  
  
"You ready?" I asked her. I was beginning to grasp the more intricate  
levels of the teleportation spell I'd picked up from the Space Senshi,  
but my control wasn't good enough that I would trust myself with so  
many people and material over such a long distance. Katya was going  
to be getting a lot of energy crammed into her for this, though, and I  
didn't want her to lose control either.  
  
She shrugged."Sure. I've already scouted the area out. I'm just  
going to pull the whole park area out and replace it with a section of  
open ground near the east end of the village. That place isn't really  
a village, you know," she said, referring to the Amazon village."There  
are several thousand people staying there and it has grown noticeably  
since last week. It's more of a city."  
  
The village never had been much of a village, but now with war  
preparations being made, I imagine the place would be swelling up  
pretty quickly. Good thing we were marking out our little piece  
early. "Wouldn't it be easier to just move the people and stuff?" I  
asked. I certainly wouldn't want to attempt to move that much matter.  
  
Katya grinned at me."You just stick to your side of the job and I'll  
worry about mine. I've been manipulating space for thousands of  
years. With you to back me, I could probably move the moon." I don't  
want to think about what kind of trouble 'that' action would cause.  
  
After a few placating gestures, I said,"Whatever. I'm gonna go make  
sure the senshi are in place." I was worried more about the Outer  
Senshi. Haruka was a belligerent bitch that needed her ass kicked,  
and I'm sure I'll be doing the honors sometime in the next few days.  
She would disobey orders meant for the safety of others just to  
aggravate me. Michiru and Hotaru were much too happy with me to be  
anything but perfectly agreeable.  
  
Hotaru was a real suprise. Though her power was nowhere near what it  
had been when she had imprisoned Silence, for a mana-bound individual,  
the girl was extraordinary. When she fully matured, she would be  
nearly as strong as my senshi, and she hasn't got a bit of the Talent  
for magic in her. I'd also took the time and effort to study her  
glaive. It acted like a very weak version of my lens crystal,  
amplifying the senshi's power by about fifteen percent, but the main  
enchantment was something I suspect Katya was responsible for. The  
blade of the glaive encased slightly warped space, giving it a cutting  
edge that would shear through all but the most powerful of barrier  
spells. The girl would need proper training from the Amazons to use  
it effectively. She's young, she'll learn.  
  
"Hey, Ranma!" Hotaru called to me, waving enthusiastically. She was  
already in her altered senshi state. I couldn't stand to leave the  
Outers looking like they did while my senshi looked so much cooler.  
No one seemed to realize that a senshi stood in their midst, assuming  
she was just a little girl dressed up like her favorite heroes.  
  
"Hey, Hotaru. Do you remember what you're supposed to do?" Her and  
the other senshi would form a protective ring around the entire park  
once it was transported. They'd keep any overzealous Amazons from  
harming anyone while I explained the situation to the Elders. I  
probably should have done so earlier, but I didn't want to give them  
even the smallest chance to object. With nearly three hundred people  
on your door step, most of them loaded down with supplies and other  
useful items, it can be hard to turn them away.  
  
"Uh huh," she said, nodding to emphasize her response."I'm supposed to  
keep any Amazons from hurting anyone here. I shouldn't kill anyone  
either, right?" Hotaru was of the same mindset as me on the subject of  
killing. If you've gotta do it, do it and don't regret it, but if it  
can be avoided, do that. An extreme view for a twelve year old kid, I  
know, yet a useful rule to live by.  
  
"That's right," I answered."And try not to hurt any of the Amazons in  
a fight or they may try to kill you, no matter what." Oh...shit!"Um,  
gotta go, Hotaru. I'm counting on you." How could I have neglected  
that little fact. It would be just like Haruka to get a few score  
Amazons after her head.  
  
****  
  
Kasumi glanced up from washing the dishes as the overhead fluorescent  
lights in the kitchen momentarily flickered and dimmed."Oh my," she  
said to herself. Akane must be trying to hardwire her mechanical bull  
directly into the Nerima electrical grid again.  
  
Kasumi was about to search out her youngest sister when Nabiki walked  
into the kitchen, She was wearing a pair of shades and had her purse  
slung negligently over her shoulder."Hey, Kasumi, I'm going to take a  
quick trip to the store to pick up a few cases of emergency batteries  
encase Akane screws the transformers up again. Are there any  
particular sizes that you need?"  
  
Kasumi frowned in concentration."Well, a few of the twelve volts  
wouldn't hurt and we never did get the large car battery recharged for  
'Big Paul' after Akane's last power outage." She couldn't think of  
anything at first."You are going to get plenty of D cells?"  
  
Nabiki nodded and looked at her sister like she was stupid."The  
charger is out in the tool shed. You should probably take care of  
'Big Paul' before Akane shorts out the entire district."  
  
Akane hadn't been the same since Ryoga's unfortunate misplacement,  
none of them had, but the youngest Tendo had taken the absence of her  
playmate especially hard. The electric bill had more than trippled in  
the last two weeks. Nabiki was already whoring herself out to three  
of the richest men in Tokyo. If things kept up at their present rate,  
she would soon be working for a couple women too.  
  
****  
  
The sense of disorientation was stronger with this 'port. Must have  
something to do with the size of the load. I didn't wait for anyone  
to get themselves killed, taking to the air and heading straight for  
the Council building. Amazons were already beginning to notice the  
new Jusendo Park and the outcry soon went out for the warriors to  
assemble. News travels fast.  
  
The 'village' had indeed grown. It had done more than grown. The  
Amazons now occupied about ten times more space than during my  
previous visit nearly three years earlier. The Council building  
hadn't moved, though, and I slipped through its wards easily, wards  
that I myself had placed to protect the building. No one had even  
looked up, so excited were the Amazons by the park appearing, so my  
arrival went unnoticed.  
  
Heavy wooden doors swung open easily and I stepped into the single  
roomed building. Back against the far wall, a large, slightly  
concave, polished ebony wood table supported by three stone pedestals.  
Behind the table, where normally a dozen ancient Amazon women, and in  
time of trouble twice that many, were fifteen young women no younger  
than Ami and no older than me. Um, I don't know all the Amazon laws  
of etiquet, but I do know that these ladies would be in major trouble  
if they were caught in here.  
  
Being such a kind gentleman, I cautioned,"If the Elders catch you in  
here, heads are going to roll." If they didn't understand Japanese  
that was their problem, at least I was taking the trouble to warn  
them.  
  
"Has it been so long that you don't recognize me, Ranma?" the black-  
haired, attractive Amazon sitting in Cologne's Matriarchal position  
asked. There was a strong resembalance to Shampoo. Her Japanese was  
excellant. Cousin, maybe?  
  
I shook my head. I don't think I slept with her, no, I know I didn't.  
There was only Shampoo and that Lotion chick."I'm afraid that you have  
me at a disadvantage..." I prompted. They were all grinning at me  
mischeviously. Sigh. Ami isn't going to like it here, I'm afraid,  
even if women are in charge.  
  
"Why, Ranma, I'm your old friend Cologne," the girl demurred.  
  
"Damnit, quit fooling around," I snapped."I need to speak with the  
Elders before some friends I brought with me start blasting Amazons  
into atoms." I hadn't heard any explosions or screams of pain, yet.  
The senshi were completely capable of killing silently, so you see,  
that wasn't much of a reassurance.  
  
The girl claiming to be Cologne sat up straighter in her chair and her  
eyes narrowed."Ranma, what are you talking about?" she asked, her tone  
commanding.  
  
Screw it. I walked over to the table and teleported, switching myself  
into the girl's place and setting her, chair and all, on the other  
side of the table. I ignored the gasps and looked at the black-haired  
girl. "Little girl, if any of my friends are hurt because you're  
trying to have some fun, there won't be enough of you left for the  
real Cologne to get her hands on." The other girls were trying to move  
now, trying but not succeeding. By force of will, I was holding them  
in their padded stone chairs. I had to increase the force, though, as  
they began applying impressive amounts of chi force. These weren't  
average Amazons, that's for sure.  
  
Cologne-wannabe sighed and said,"I really am Cologne, you fool. These  
other ladies are the Coucil of Elders. We used the water from  
Jusenkyo to regain our youth in order to better lead our tribe in the  
coming war." That 'was' possible, but I knew that using Jusenkyo in  
such a way was terribly taboo for the Amazons. She sounded sincere.  
Not about to take any chances, I scanned the so-called Elders with chi  
and mystical senses. Oops.  
  
When next I spoke it was from the original side of the table, with  
Cologne in her proper place and the other Elders not glued to their  
seat."Sorry. How was I supposed to know? By the way, Cologne, you're  
pretty hot." Dumb look."That means you're very attractive. Now that  
the formalities are over, get your unwrinkled ass out here and help me  
calm everyone down."  
  
I didn't wait to see if I was followed. By the time the not so old  
Elders piled through the double doors of the Council building, I was  
hovering twenty feet in the air with my arms crossed. I said,"I hope  
you ladies can keep up with me." I could have levitated them with me.  
I didn't because I figured that the Elders should get to use the  
bodies they had traded in their old ones for.  
  
****  
  
Much to my suprise, not so much as a punch or fireball had been thrown  
in my absence. I found Shampoo, a broad smile plastered across her  
pretty face, introducing the senshi to her fellow warriors. The  
Elders had made good time and arrived, panting, less than a minute  
after me.  
  
"It seems that your fears were unfounded," Cologne said. She was the  
only one of the Elders that showed no visible strain. All of them  
were used to bodies that required less energy and weren't properly  
managing their chi flows to enhance them. Cologne was the exception,  
not that I expected anything less from the ancient troll.  
  
"Yeah, I guess." Better to be safe than sorry, or so the saying goes.  
People were wandering around the edges of the teleported park, clearly  
afraid to go much farther, but still curious about their new  
surroundings. Katya, bless her heart(that's just a saying, I don't  
give blessings), had volunteered to get the refugees situated  
properly. I never have been much of a people person.  
  
"They are not fighters," Colonge said bluntly. After a pause she  
continued,"Oh, I see. Fellow sorceresses?" For someone with none of  
the Talent, Cologne was amazingly sensitive to it.  
  
"Yep, my students actually. They're each class-bound, white, fire,  
air, etc...One of them is even the future ruler of the world." I was  
saving Ami for when the eventual attempted seduction came, as I knew  
it would.  
  
Cologne looked at me blankly, a gesture copied by the other  
Elders."Oh, I didn't tell you?" They all shook their heads."Well, it  
goes like this. Saffron doesn't sound like the kind of guy I could be  
around without gutting, so I'm just gonna kill him when this is all  
over and put Princess Usagi on the throne as ruler of the world.  
She's a reincarnated princess from the Silver Millenium, that was a  
long time ago, and really easy to maniuplate, if you know how." Ice  
cream."Isn't that great?"  
  
****  
  
Author's Notes: I know I skipped a lot of stuff involved with getting  
everyone together, but I'm eager to get to the actual taking over of  
the world part of the story, and I'm sure you all are too, so don't  
get too uspet with this chapter. How should the Elders react to  
Ranma's little announcement? Better yet, how many of them will have  
to be eliminated to get the point across? Next chapter Cologne is  
gonna find out who the senshi are, too, and we might even see Saffron,  
not that I'm going to let him know about the senshi yet.  
  
I want to have lots of supernatural resistance from around the world,  
but I don't know most of the good comics or animes that I could use  
characters from. I'd greatly appreciate suggestions for these people.  
Please include the series they're from, a short personality  
description, and a bio with powers listed and stuff. Like I did with  
Power and Responsibility(I really do plan on continuing that,  
eventually) I'll even accept original characters if they're good. It  
doesn't matter wether they're good or evil, demonic or angelic, just  
which side they fight on. Thanks!  
  
Everyone who contributes stuff I use will get full credit for it.  
  
Send them and C&C to dark_phoneix@hotmail.com 


	21. Chapter 20

  
Can It Get Any Worse?: Chapter 20  
  
One of the Elders turned out to be a low class sorceress. She chose  
to test her power against mine, despite the stupidity of the action.  
I didn't even bother to deflect the bolt of condensed air that she  
threw. The blurry sphere smashed against my shields, throwing up a  
small cloud of dust and tearing a few chunks of sod from the gournd.  
  
"Don't get pissy," I told them, staring all the while at Cologne."I  
already know that Saffron will end up in charge at the end of the war.  
Your whole tribe will be better off with Usagi in power. She's  
compassionate, tolerant, caring, and all kinds of other things that  
the Phoenix isn't." I shrugged."And look at it like this, her kingdom  
will be a matriarchy," yeah right,"so women will hold most of the  
power. Amazons will be in much better positions than they would have  
if the Musk or Phoenix People remained in power." I sure thought I was  
making sense, but all the Elders except for Cologne were pulling up  
every ounce of chi or magic that they could.  
  
"Perhaps we should discuss this with...this Usagi. Maybe she will see  
reason," Cologne said slowly. She was regretting sending Shampoo and  
Mousse to find me now. She just doesn't know how lucky she is. If  
the Amazons along with the others from Jusendo had attacked us, the  
senshi and I, our pokemon included, would have laid down some unholy  
asskicking on them.  
  
I waved that suggestion aside."Don't bother. She's just a child.  
Think of me as her business manager. I make the decisions and she  
sits there and looks pretty. In a few decades, maybe things will  
change. She 'is' a direct descendent of Kami-same." Like the great-to  
the twentieth power-granddaughter. Still, that does qualify as blood  
relation, if barely.  
  
"Why the nerve of this 'boy'," a small red-headed Elder with big tits  
spat."You don't know who you're dealing with." She was almost ready to  
spit nails. Heh. I grinned at her, illuminating my eyes and making  
them glow with green and golden fire.  
  
"Maybe you don't understand what I'm saying," I drawled."I'm not  
taking charge of the tribe. You ladies can make all the decisions.  
When the war is over and done, that is when you're gonna sit back and  
let us take over. And don't even think about double crossing me.  
Usagi has an army of extra-dimensional animals that even I would have  
trouble dealing with. If something were to happen to her, well there  
would probably be a few Amazons left after they got through with you.  
Cooperate and that army, along with all our magic will be turned  
towards saving Amazon lives. Otherwise, as much as I'd hate to do it,  
I'll just kill you all and start the takeover now." If I were female  
then they would probably be able to swallow this much easier. Hey,  
that's a good idea. Good me.  
  
I still wore the black ring given to me by Setsuna. I liked the way  
it looked, so sue me. It had recharged itself over time. I repeated  
the simple mental cantrip that would change the metal of the ring  
white and the change overtook me. I became, Ranma Saotome, mega-babe.  
The Elders gasped, gawked, or did a combination of the two. Except  
for Cologne. She's a steady one, that's for sure.  
  
"Now that I've revealed my true form, does anyone feel more like  
cooperating?" Cologne probably wouldn't buy this, but by now she had  
to have seen that there was no reason to resist my course of action.  
It would benefit the Amazons in every way.  
  
The green-haired sorcerress wannabe whispered,"That is not the magic  
of Jusenkyo at work." No shit, ya dumb bitch. Did anyone else not see  
a large amount of cold water fall on me?  
  
"Ranma, if that is your real name, why did you first visit our tribe  
as a man?" Cologne asked. I'm gonna have to make her something  
special for going along with me."You must have known that you would be  
better treated as a woman."  
  
"It's fun to pretend to be a man every so often. Most of the rest of  
the world gives them more respect and power," I said mischeviously,  
like I'd played a joke on someone."You girls wouldn't believe what  
guys talk about when they're alone." That comment got some knowing  
looks and a few sets of raised eyebrows.  
  
"And your...fling with my great-granddaughter?" pressed Cologne.  
Maybe she had been taken in too.  
  
"I like women. As a man that looks like my male form, it's not too  
hard to find willing women. Can you blame Shampoo, I do have a nice  
ass. Don't you think?" This is fun!  
  
****  
  
By the time we'd walked back to the Council building, I'd pretty much  
convinced the old coots that I was the real deal. One of the elders  
though, the one who didn't like 'boys' kept checking out my rack.  
That was going to need some attention or Ami was likely to use the  
brain freeze spell on someone, possibly me.  
  
"Sure, since the senshi are all female, males aren't likely to get too  
far ahead in the future." I probably should have gone to the Musk with  
my offer. They respect women more than Amazons respect men.  
  
All the Elders exchanged odd glances after that comment. I let my  
senses range over them. They'd suddenly began to feel a small bit of  
fear. Why would that load of bull about men being second class  
citizens bother 'this' group of dikes?  
  
"Senshi? Do you refer to soldiers or 'Sailor Senshi'?" Cologne asked  
evenly. Her voice was tight, tension actually coming to the surface  
of her mind.  
  
Something that I didn't understand was going on here."The Sailor  
Senshi. My students. What's the big deal?" I'm not truly empathic,  
having to combine my higher senses with magic to sense true emotions,  
but I could nearly smell the surge of fear and anger that the Elders  
released before they could control themselves.  
  
"Ranma, Saffron has spoken in great detail about the Sailor Senshi,  
his captors during the ancient times before even Jusenkyo existed.  
None of us believe that any other woman could come close to acting the  
way he has said, but his hate borders on the insane." Cologne was a  
virtual fount of knowledge. So Saffron came from the Silver  
Millenium. That would bear definite looking into."If he were to  
discover the senshi here..." she left the statement hanging,  
attempting to convey danger, I think.  
  
"So? The senshi don't look anything like they did in their former  
incarnations. I've even changed their armor. As long as none of your  
Amazons starts flapping their jaws, he won't ever find out, at least  
not until I'm ready for him to." If Saffron caused this much worry,  
his power must be considerable. A fire-kami, not just an elemental?  
Maybe, maybe not. If he was as powerful as everyone seems to think,  
he wouldn't need the Amazons or Musk. I'll deal with him when the  
need arises. To assuage the Amazon's fears, I said,"Don't worry. I  
can handle Saffron. My pet dragon could probably handle Saffron."  
Gyrados was reasonably strong with ice and water, the elemental  
opposites of fire.  
  
Mentioning Gyrados quickly changed the topic of discussion. A few  
more assurances that Saffron wouldn't come streaking out of the sky  
without warning and turning the village into a pit of lava and we were  
talking about pokemon."We got lost in another dimension and the place  
turned out to be crawling with the things. People keep them as pets  
mostly, but their power can grow to be quite formidable." They weren't  
quite ready for Demon. Slammer, yes, he would work nicely.  
  
"Where are these pokemon?" another busty Elder asked. Ami had already  
confirmed that the pokeballs would work even after Saffron's  
technology suppressor went active. There would have been a whole  
bunch of pokemon to feed and shelter otherwise.  
  
I pulled Slammer's pokeball from a rudimentary spatial pocket(yes, I  
was finally developing my own). The pocket was small, barely large  
enough to hold my three pokeballs and a handful of weapons I thought  
may prove useful in the near future. It was growing, though, and  
would reach a size comparable to the senshis', or so Katya told  
me."They're kept in these devices. They work kinda like Mousse's  
Hidden Weapons technique, warping space inside to make much larger  
objects fit."  
  
Cologne nodded, as if she had expected nothing less."Would a  
demonstration be too much trouble?" I had been about to offer just  
that.  
  
****  
  
The bakusai tenketsu training field seemed like the best place to turn  
Slammer loose for a little demonstrative mayhem. We didn't need for  
anyone to see the pokemon and have a fit about demons."Go Slammer!" I  
called, activating the pokeball. Slammer materialized from the  
crimson light, a ton of diamond hard living stone.  
  
"Gooooooooo Leeeeeeemmmmmmmm!!!" Slammer roared, pounding the ground  
with his fists, shivering the stone beneath our feet. He and I had  
worked that out as a sort of battle cry last week. He always had  
liked to show off whenever he got the chance.  
  
"As you can see, Slammer is most...impressive. His animate nature  
negates the bakusai kentetsu and he gives off no heat, so a renegade  
Amazon would have more than her share of trouble harming him." They  
had to know I was emphasizing just how powerless they were. As I said  
before, being female was making this much easier. The Elders would  
probably have been much more distrustful of me in less stressful  
times, but they were so desperate to see reality the way they wanted  
it(this being not having a man in charge) that they'd practically  
ignored my blatant manipulation.  
  
"What exactly is this pokemon capable of?" I wonder. What do giant  
rock creatures do?  
  
"Slammer, smash stuff," I commanded, grinning at him. I think the  
pokemon winked at me, but I can't say for certain. The next few  
minutes involved Slammer picking up huge boulders and smashing them,  
throwing them , and exploding them into various sized pieces of  
rubble.  
  
"Just think how useful he'll be in urban warfare," I commented as  
Slammer was digging a tunnel."Slammer can just shake the city to  
pieces and none of your warriors ever get hurt." I felt like a  
salesman, and in a way I was, a salesman selling himself(herself,  
whatever) as head honcho.  
  
While the Elders had a little pow wow to draw out the length of their  
total autonomy, Cologne walked over to me."I commend you, Ranma. You  
come across a little strong as a woman, but they bought it, hook,  
line, and sinker."  
  
"You Amazons have such a hard time seeing that men are your equals  
that I decided to bipass the whole problem. Besides, you know it as  
much as I do that my plan and prescence will benefit everyone, not  
including Saffron." Stupid old women, making me become a chick again.  
Ami would be getting her Ranko back, at least. For your own health,  
just forget that I ever mentioned that.  
  
"For a man," Cologne grinned, making herself look even more like  
Shampoo,"you have an amazing grasp of the overall situation. Now, how  
do your other pokemon compare to Slammer and the enhancing curses of  
Jusenkyo?" Down to business, again.  
  
I thought that question over for a minute before answering."That  
chimera one, the yeti-riding the whatever thing, could probably take  
out some of the weaker ones that the senshi have, but most of the  
pokemon have powerful projectile attacks that would take it out before  
it got close enough to use its physical strength. Mine would  
dessimate it. The Ashuru curse is very powerful, but that one changes  
personality too much to be useful. I'd say that it could, one on one,  
defeat all but the girls' strongest pokemon. Once again, mine would  
win." What can I say, I have good taste in pets. The only other  
halfway beneficial curse I knew was the elf curse. I didn't mention  
it, though, as I knew Cologne wouldn't even consider allowing anyone  
to use it. That particular curse turned its victim into a psychotic  
elven death mage that I would have had major trouble defeating before  
aquiring the crystals. As a matter of fact, I had had to defeat that  
damned elf when some little old chinese man had fallen into it during  
my last stay in the village. That's the kind of coincidence that I  
really hate.  
  
"There are a few others, but none as powerful in combat as those you  
mentioned. Do these pokemon breed?" she asked. Already looking for a  
way to get your greedy little paws on the pokemon, eh?  
  
"Yeah, they lay eggs occassionally. Ami and Usagi have worked out a  
breeding program that will keep the pokemon at controllable levels."  
Usagi was only allowed to have pokemon of the opposing sexes capable  
of breeding out when we were fighting or needed particular eggs."For  
now, those eggs will be going to the people that came with us from  
Japan. Eventually we may begin introducing them to Amazon warriors.  
The fighting type pokemon will be of particular interest to you and  
your people, I believe." Cologne wasn't happy with the pokemon being  
held just out of her grasp. She covered it up well enough that only  
someone as sensitive as me could have felt the emotion, though, and we  
continued to discuss the important matters of the next few days.  
  
****  
  
"I'm home!" Nabiki announced, stepping into the house and dragging a  
suprise behind her. The lights weren't flickering any longer, which  
meant that either Akane had electrocuted herself or succeeded. Kami-  
same knew she wouldn't have just given up."I've got a suprise!"  
  
Kasumi came out of the kitchen, wiping her hands on a small towel, her  
face flushed and her brow slick with sweat. Akane, equally  
bedraggled, followed behind the eldest Tendo."Oh, hello Tatewaki,"  
Kasumi greeted.  
"What brings you here today?"  
  
Kuno's brow furrowed in immense concentration, finally he gave up and  
said,"I haven't a clue."  
  
"Nabiki," Akane growled,"you're not serious are you?"  
  
Nabiki shrugged."Why not? He's got the necessary equipment, and lacks  
the intelligence of a rock. He may not be up to Ryoga's standards,  
but we can make due with him for now."  
  
Kuno looked from Akane to Nabiki and back again,"What speaketh thee,  
my love?" he asked, puzzlement overriding the usual urge to shower  
Akane Tendo in love.  
  
"Nothing," Akane snapped at the boy."But it's 'Kuno'?" persisted  
Akane.  
  
"Well if you don't want him...I suppose Kasumi and I can share him.  
Is that okay with you big sister?" Kasumi nodded.  
  
Tatewaki was such a nice young man, volunterring to take care of their  
womanly needs. She would make sure to make his first experience with  
her especially memorable."Oh yes, of course."  
  
Nabiki looked at Akane."It would be your turn first, you know?"  
  
Akane was obviously torn between revulsion of Kuno and the almost  
uncontrollable urge to screw anything that walked, man, woman, or  
beast. If only their father hadn't run away, she wouldn't have to  
stoop to 'Kuno'. She shuddered, but said,"Okay, you win. Go strap  
him in and I'll get ready."  
  
Nabiki, as last to use Ryoga, was responsible for readying their toy  
for its next use."Come along, Kuno, I have a suprise for you."  
  
Kuno scratched the back of his head in confusion."Perchance, none of  
you lovely ladies has partaken of the twisted fruits of my dear  
sister's labor, have thee?"  
  
"Don't talk, Kuno," Nabiki ordered.  
  
****  
  
As Tatewaki leaned against the wall Nabiki had chained him to, he  
attempted to piece together the puzzle presented to him by the unusual  
behavior displayed by his love and her sisters. Was there a gas leak  
nearby? That must be it. Why else would Nabiki chain him to a wall  
and force him to where a rubber body suit? He would have to arrange  
for Sasuki to fix the faulty pipe just as soon as he was released.  
  
The door opened, temporarily lighting the dark room and showing a  
backlit figure who's features Tatewaki couldn't make out. The figure  
reached over to the wall and switched on a set of dim red light.  
  
Tateaki nearly suffered a massive coronary at the sight of Akane, his  
love, wearing a tight leather corset, her breasts spilling over its  
top. In her left hand the girl held a stiff riding crop and in the  
other a coiled bull whip.  
  
****  
  
"Heeeeeeeeeeellllllllpppppppppp!!!!" Tatewaki bellowed."Someone, save  
meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeAAAAARRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!"  
  
****  
My old hut had been refurbished after the decision to bring me into  
the Alliance was made. Ami and I were due a little quality time  
together since we'd been working our asses off getting crap togehter  
and making sure no one screwed up and got us all in trouble, and we'd  
just finished taking advantage of some of that time.  
  
I was female, the ring has its advantages, as I may have previously  
mentioned, and it doesn't take nearly as much work to get off lots of  
times as a girl. Ami's head rested against one of my bare breasts and  
I was starting to get randy again, but I'd wore the poor girl out.  
I'd have to wait a few minutes, at least.  
  
"Mom tried to make me stay in the tent with her," Ami was saying, her  
breath teasing my nipple. Those things are much too sensitive."All I  
had to do was mention how much inventory she had to take with all the  
stuff she stole from the hospital and she forgot about me completely."  
She laughed. Ami, devious? Real turn on, that.  
  
****  
  
Warm, contented sleep. I don't experience it often, not often enough  
to take it for gratned. With Ami snuggled against me, I was sleeping  
soundly. That changed when all four wall of my hut exploded, sheered  
away by a powerful chi blast. My mind, fuzzed by sleep and sex,  
didn't immediately grasp the situation. Reflexes, developed over  
years of constant danger, did prompt me to raise a semi-decent body  
shield.  
  
Objects, enchanted objects, bounced off this shield almost before I  
could form it. Figures, at least a dozen, formed a ring around the  
remains of my hut. They were swathed in baggy black clothing, all but  
hiding their identity. All female.  
  
When you're suprised, and, yes, a little afraid, you don't act as you  
would in more controlled conditions. Three of the women exploded into  
clouds of gorey mist as I encased them in bubble of true vaccum space.  
They didn't even get a chance to scream. Power, from my own reserves,  
from the surrounding environment, and energy from the Silver Imperium  
Crystal flooded through me, in turn passing through my lens and  
gaining in strength by a factor of ten.  
  
I spared a moment to glance at my love. From her arm and chest,  
shuriken, each dark stained and glowing malevolently, protruded. She  
didn't move, her life force barely remained within her body. It was  
fading. My Ami was dying.  
  
I had to save Ami. She was all that mattered. Instantly the energy  
that throbbed within me extended, wrapping my fiance in a web of solid  
energy, cutting her off from time, removing her from existance. The  
All Mighty could not take her if he couldn't reach her. A handful of  
seconds had passed. The Amazons were closing in, weapons, all holding  
enchantments of some kind, drawn. The element of suprise was lost to  
my attackers, those who had harmed Ami, now that my perceptions had  
been thrown into overdrive with the step-up in power and cold rage  
that consumed me.  
  
Knowledge of the Infernal Gateways, combined with my recently learned  
teleportation spell, came together in my mind and a thought later a  
doorway stood open before me, a doorway to Hell. Demons raved and  
tortured souls cried out in unending agony. I ignored the piteous  
screaming. The nine remaining Amazons, now all nearly within striking  
distance, froze, first in fear of the vision that was all too real,  
and then as I took away control of their bodies.  
  
"ARISE!" I commanded, my voice booming, the air around me humming with  
crackling energy waiting for release. I gave the energy its freedom,  
using it to increase the power of my demonic prescence a hundredfold.  
"COME TO ME!!!" They had no choice but to obey.  
  
They came, a horde of ravening, soul-starved beasts. A thousand  
demons attempted to pile through the tear in reality. I only allowed  
the strongest, the most sadistic to cross. The price of the Hellborn  
is high. Someone was going to pay.  
  
****  
  
The explosion woke the lighter sleepers. The cries of the damned got  
to the more firmly entrenched. My command raised the dead. It was  
the continuous scream of nine Amazons being tortured and repeatedly  
raped by the denizens of Hell while the sky burned with black fire  
that brought me my audience, though.  
  
Many who saw the demons at work became violently ill, others lost  
consciousness, and some watched in sick fascination. No one had the  
nerve to approach me or my minions.  
  
As my captured Amazons neared death, I returned the spark of life to  
their bodies and healed their wounds. Dawn approached, the torment  
continued. The sun rose and the sky barely lightened, obscured as it  
was by the Death Flame. The flame would soon leave this world,  
though, its job completed as each tortured Amazon's soul twisted,  
became a thing barely resembling its former self.  
  
They would live. They would also be absolutely insane. Karma? If  
their soul ever escaped Hell, pond scum would be above their place in  
existance.  
  
Even demons can be sated, and when a demon feeds off pain and  
suffering, it gains most greatly from inflicting pain itself. My  
demons reached their fill almost exactly as the death spell that hung  
in the sky departed. Nine Amazons, nine Elders, each a mass of poorly  
healed scars and neverending anguish, remained twitching upon the  
ground.  
  
****  
  
Author's Notes: I was going to handle that last part differently, but  
I drank a little too much last night and my buzz was strong enough to  
mess me up a little(I don't drink to the point of being drunk, I do  
stupid things that I can't remember if I do). After rereading it this  
morning, and fixing a lot of spelling and grammar errors, I decided to  
leave it how it was. Offer still stands for character submissions.  
I've already gotten a few really good ones, but most of them don't  
really describe the character, original or from some other series,  
well enough for me to decide what to do with them. That last scene  
was a bit dark, wasn't it? I normally don't do that. I think I may  
start, though. It's fun. C&C me at dark_phoneix@hotmail.com  



	22. Epilogue

  
Can It Get Any Worse?: Epilogue  
  
The world around me was a blur. I had no sense of reality other than  
that created by the site before me. Ami, my Ami, entombed within an  
enormous crystal, a crysatl that could never be destroyed without my  
assistance. Kami-sama? He'd get one hell of smack down if he messed  
with it. Then I would be destroyed, of course, but he'd still get his  
ass kicked.  
  
Ami's pokemon surrounded the crystal, mewling softly, stroking the  
smooth surface worriedly. They'd emerged from their pokeballs without  
anyone's assistance, and after my little display, no one had the balls  
to mess with the creatures.  
  
What could I do? Nothing. The shuriken that had struck Ami, shuriken  
that I should have protected her from, had been poisoned both  
conventionally and mystically. I could, and already had, eliminated  
the mundane poison from her body, but the magically created poison had  
bound itself to Ami's soul. To remove it would be to remove her soul.  
Oh Kamis, what am I going to do?  
  
Shrieks of insane rage and hate momentarily intruded upon my grief.  
That would be the Elders. They would come to regret their younger  
bodies now, all strong and resilient. They would survive, for it was  
the Amazon way to take care of their own, but their lives would be of  
endless mental torment, anguish not of the body but of the soul.  
  
Enough useless staring. I straightened, refilling reserves of energy  
spent on manipulating several levels of existance. Usagi may be able  
to help. Her White Magic is more effective than mine and her  
knowledge of it outstrips my own by leaps and bounds. The ground  
beneath my feet was a churned mess of blood, splintered bamboo, and a  
swirling miasma of dark energies(demonic shit). Cloven hooves and  
reptilian feet had torn the sod to shreds.  
  
Those who had stayed to witness my grief, the few not too scared of me  
to hold their own, slowly backed away, never quite meeting my eye.  
They would spread the news. Before the end of the day I would be,  
within the minds of the inhabitants of Jusendo, twenty feet tall with  
glowing pits of fire for eyes, dragging a harem of weeping virgins  
behind me.  
  
The senshi were in a little group, huddled together in fear and  
sadness, attempting to comfort one another. They didn't draw away  
from me, exactly, but there was a definite wariness in the red-rimmed  
eyes, a tautness to tear streaked faces. They were my friends, sorta,  
they would come to understand.  
  
"Usagi," I begged,"please see if you can help her?" I don't know what  
I would do without Ami. She was my better half, literally. The only  
reason I even cared about this stupid war was so that she would be  
safe and comfortable in the years to come."I can't do anything," I  
said, fighting down the urge to cry. I had to be strong.  
  
The ditzy blonde's back straightened and she pulled away from her  
fellows. She nodded to me and as I led her over to Ami's prison, I  
felt her priming several healing spells of amazing power and  
complexity, far above anything I could produce. If she needed energy,  
I would provide her with enough to destroy this world, even at the  
cost of my own soul.  
  
Usagi fought down a sob as she caught sight of her long time friend.  
I had healed the wounds of her body, yet blood still coated her leg  
and torso. The sorcerress scanned my fiance in much the same way as I  
had, if not a little more thoroughly. She reached the same conclusion  
that I had. Shaking her head, Usagi turned to me and whispered,"I'm  
so sorry, Ranma. There isn't anything I can do. We can't even allow  
her to die in order to be ressurected. The poison would destroy her  
soul."  
  
There went hope. I stared at Ami, the world collapsing around me.  
I've only ever been truly happy for the few months Ami and I were  
together. She'd changed me. Without her...  
  
...without her there was going to be a lot of dead people real soon.  
  
****  
  
Cologne had first felt the chi force induced vaccum exlposion when  
she'd been preparing for bed, a young man under either arm. They  
couldn't possibly be THAT stupid, could they? She dropped her latest  
conquests and ran, glowing with chi, at the fastest speed a non-  
Talented human could manage without ripping their own tendons to  
shreds. Despite the effort, she was too late.  
  
By the time she reached Ranma's hut, three Amazons, and she suspected  
they were Elders, were nothing more than clouds of bloody mist. Ami,  
one of the senshi and the sorcerress whom Ranma had soul-bonded, was  
down. Even from the distance Cologne had stopped, she could sense the  
workings of something dark and insidious within the girl. A poison  
she knew of quite well was at work. Poor Ranma, she was a lost cause.  
More important at the moment, though, was the poor Elders that were  
about to become fish bait.  
  
Cologne knew better than to try to reason with Ranma. In his present  
state of mind that would just get her in on whatever horrible thing  
his grieving mind could come up with. She wasn't prepared for the  
enormous outflow of energy directed by Ranma. It nearly blinded her  
chi senses. Reeling from the shock, she caught sight of Ami,  
momentarily surrounded by a crystal of huge proportions, fading away.  
  
  
Now that Ranma had preserved Ami, Cologne guessed, he would be truly  
making his displeasure known. She'd expected torture, not summoning  
the ranks of Hell to defile and torment her fellow Elders. Through  
more than three hundreds years of life, Cologne had seen and  
experienced very nearly everything imaginable that a person born on  
Earth could hope for. She wasn't prepared for the sight of the demons  
at work.  
  
She watched, along with a few Amazons and visitors, throughout the  
night, vomitting at least a dozen times. What had the foolish, may  
their souls one day know peace, women hoped to accomplish? At least  
the entire ruling body of Amazons wasn't insane.  
  
Cologne finally decided to make herself known to Ranma. She'd just  
watched him beg Usagi, another sorcerress, one apparently even more  
powerful than he in the White magic, to heal Ami. What a fine Amazon  
he would have made with such devotion and power. It was after Usagi  
failed to do anything that Cologne hopped across the small clearing  
created by rampaging demons.  
  
****  
  
"What?" My voice was flat, my eyes cold. Cologne, backbone of the  
Amazon Nation, stepped back and swallowed. If she had any sense she  
would be running for her damned life.  
  
Cologne reached out and pressed a small glass vial containing a dark  
reddish liquid into my hands. Either the liquid or the vial itself  
were somehow enchanted, not that I could divine either's purpose."It's  
a poison. The Matriarch and Elders of the tribe, over two thousand  
years ago, developed it from dragon's blood, one of Saffron's  
feathers, and the heart of a newborn babe. I know of no cure." She  
would live. Cologne isn't stupid, she knows well enough how I think.  
By giving me this vial of poison, she gives me the means to search for  
an antidote. She must think that that act alone will save her tribe.  
Nope, she's wrong on that account. Very very luckily, I don't think I  
can kill all the Amazons without alienating the senshi, and very  
likely Ami when she is revived. And I can't alienate the senshi,  
really just Usagi, because I will most likely need her help to deal  
with this toxin. Less vital, but still important, the senshi have to  
stay here, in Jusendo, to continue the war.  
  
I turned my back on Cologne and walked back over to the senshi.  
Haruka stood slightly apart from the group of mourning girls, her arms  
crossed and a scowl on her petulant face. I glared at her. She ran.  
  
"Usagi, take a look at this. It's the poison used on Ami." Damn, I'm  
starting to sound like one of those emotional burnouts that uses too  
much negative chi. Well, fuck it, I have a reason. I extended the  
vial to her, but as soon as the girl's eyes alighted on the tiny  
container, she threw herself backwards, shrieking just a little louder  
than a banshee.  
  
I shunted the vial into pocket space and brought the girl to her feet  
before the stunned senshi could even react."R-Ranma, t-that's s-s-so  
horrible!" Usagi wailed. Now that I think about it, that poison  
practically reeks of ritualized magicks, dark magics. Mostly Death,  
but the was some Blood and diluted Demonic magic in the pattern. I  
can see where something like that would be unpleasant for a sorcerress  
of Usagi's perusasion and calibre.  
  
So much for any help."Sorry," I muttered."I'll be leaving now." Yeah,  
I'm getting out of town. I don't know how much longer I can control  
myself, not around all these Amazons. I have to get away, far, far  
away.  
  
The senshi didn't try to stop me, or even call out any denunciations.  
Hell, why should I worry about alienating them? They were already  
looking at me like I was a whole different person.  
  
****  
  
Three pokemon, a few changes of clothing, some food, and every single  
magical artifact the Amazons had possessed(at least the ones that  
weren't stupid or too weak to be of use) were all that I carried out  
of the village with me. Ami was at the Gates of Time and Space.  
Katya was responsible, she'd take care of my fiance. Not that there  
was much upkeep involved in dealing with someone in complete stasis.  
  
****  
  
A few days later, while I was killing time incinerating a tree, limb  
by limb, I felt the massive magical discharge I'd been expecting. The  
wave of power that swept the globe was relatively weak, but the fact  
that it covered the entire planet was impressive, to say the least.  
Afterward, I couldn't detect any noticeable difference in the Earth's  
energy field. Ami'd said that it wouldn't be detectable. Ami...  
  
...Shit, I gotta stop moping and find something to help her. I'm good  
at magic, maybe the best, Kamis know I'm the strongest on this planet,  
but I'm not arrogant or stupid enough to even begin to believe that I  
know all the spells that have been developed over thousands upon  
thousands of years.  
  
The world was going to hell now. Food would run out, water would stop  
flowing, and medical care would soon be sliding back into the stone  
age, meaning that people are going to die. With no electricity or  
technology of any kind, people are not just gonna die, they're going  
to become paranoid, savage, jealous animals. People like myself, the  
martial artists with true chi force and magic talents who previously  
remained hidden or withdrawn, we would survive. We would even  
prosper.  
  
Someone had to know something that could counteract the poison. If  
only the stuff wasn't so evil, I could have had the Dark Prince or  
Xochial check it out. To them, though, the poison would be nothing  
more than a shot of liquor. Damnit, I need to find an angel or  
something along those lines.  
  
****  
  
Author's Notes: I just had the idea to make this the end of CIGAW.  
Don't start calling for my blood or planning my death. Part two, 'The  
World at War' will be coming along in a couple of days, along with the  
side stories involving Ranma's past. I really need those characters  
now because Ranma is going to be travelling around the world, meeting  
people and looking for a cure to the poison. Rephrase; I need really  
well developed characters with descriptive backgrounds so that I can  
work with them. Thanks! C&C me at dark_phoneix@hotmail.com  



End file.
